


52 Weeks

by drisles



Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2016-09-16
Packaged: 2018-08-07 06:51:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 54,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7704655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drisles/pseuds/drisles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jane & Maura become mamas. Sequel to 39 Weeks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work can be found in its entirety on ff. Reposting here.

The wall clock across from Jane and Maura's bed read 2:37 a.m. It was the couples first night home with their baby after delivery and the fourth time they had been awoken by their hungry little peanut since they put her in the bassinet five hours ago.

"I'll grab her," Jane mumbled as she sleepily made her way over to the bassinet by their bed.

Maura yawned as she sat up against the headboard, lifting her shirt and draping it around her neck.

"Hi little baby," Jane cooed as she got back in bed and sat next to Maura, "Are you _really_ hungry or do you just like Mommy's boobs, huh?"

Maura lightly swatted her shoulder as Jane handed the baby over.

"Very funny, Jane. Are you going to make that joke every time I feed her? It's already getting old."

"Maybe I'm just jealous of all the boob action she's getting," Jane teased.

Maura made sure the baby in her arms latched on to her left breast before speaking, "Ugh," she groaned, "Absolutely nothing sexual sounds appealing right now."

"I know, I know. I'm only teasing," Jane replied, "What's it feel like, anyway?"

"Honestly, it's a little uncomfortable. I don't think I'm used to this much stimulation just yet. I've heard it can be quite painful once the milk starts to come in."

"Hm," Jane frowned, "I'm sorry."

"No, no it's ok. I kinda like it, having this one-on-one time with her."

"Good."

"Maybe you could try it sometime? I mean, not for feeding - although it is possible for you to induce lactation - but just so you can have that time with her. It could be comforting for her, or even for you, to share that bond."

Jane smiled.

"Yeah, maybe. I just might have to try that," Jane said as she looked down at the little bundle in Maura's arms, "God, she's so cute." She reached out and stroked her little cheek with her finger.

"Yes. She is," Maura agreed. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Why haven't you called her Elsa, yet?"

Jane looked up quickly and locked eyes with Maura.

"I...um,"

"What? What is it?" Maura questioned.

"I… we… we just can't, Maura. We can't name our daughter after a Disney princess!" Jane responded louder than intended. "We can't be those parents who just couldn't… _let it go._ " Jane closed her eyes, fearing Maura's reaction, but couldn't help smile at her own use of words. There was a long pause before Maura's laughter filled the room; a refreshing noise compared to a fussy cry or whimper. Jane immediately opened her eyes to witness her wife in a fit of laughter.

Pleased with the response, Jane continued, "I mean, I know it was my idea in the first place, and if you don't want to change it, I understand. I just… I don't know. I guess all the _Frozen_ hype has taken a toll on me. I don't want little kids or, hell, even adults, bursting into song every time we introduce them to our daughter."

Still smiling, Maura looked down at their daughter who had stopped sucking, her eyes getting droopy.

"Here," Maura said, handing the baby back to Jane before readjusting her shirt.

Jane positioned her daughter against her left shoulder and gently began patting her back. After her shirt was back on, Maura rested her head against Jane's free shoulder.

"Surprisingly," Maura began, "I actually agree with you. Maybe not so much with your reasoning, although now that you point it out, I can definitely see your concern, but I don't know. She just doesn't _look_ like an Elsa to me. It doesn't feel right, which is odd because it worked while she was in me; I loved hearing you call her that, but now that she's here, something feels...off."

"So what do we do?" Jane asked as she continued to rub her daughter's back.

"Well, we still have a couple of days before we need to turn in the papers and certificate to our midwife. I guess it's a good thing we didn't fill out the certificate right away." Maura shifted and got back under the covers as Jane put their baby back in the bassinet.

Jane flicked off the light on the nightstand before snuggling in behind her wife.

"I don't have any other names picked out," Maura replied with a yawn, "She's only been here 12 hours, but I feel bad not calling her anything."

"Let's not worry about it right now. We'll think of something," Jane said, kissing the back of Maura's neck. "We can just stick with Baby, Sweetie, Peanut… Little Poop Monster, Boob Lover…"

Jane was hoping for a reaction, but smiled when she realized Maura had fallen asleep.

* * *

By the end of day two at home, both new mommies were exhausted. Part of them both thought that it would be easier, the running on no sleep thing. They had done it many times before because of their careers, but this? _This_ was a completely new level of exhaustion.

Baby (their poor nameless baby) had been extra fussy throughout the day, nothing had seemed to please her, so when she was finally quiet for the first time in hours, Maura took the opportunity to collapse on top of the mattress, her body aching.

Five minutes later, Jane emerged from the bathroom wearing a robe and using a towel to dry her hair.

"Shhhh," Maura whispered to her, even though Jane had said nothing, "She finally fell asleep after I fed her."

Jane dropped the towel and mimicked the motion of zipping her lips as she climbed into bed next to her wife. Maura immediately shifted and snuggled in close, resting her cheek on Jane's warm, damp chest.

Jane kissed Maura's head and asked, "How ya feelin', mommy?"

"Sore. Very, _very_ sore. And tired," Maura responded in a whisper, "I think my body just remembered what it went through. Everything aches."

"Aw, sweetheart," Jane said as she tugged Maura closer, "I'm sorry. You know I'd switch places with you if I could."

Maura yawned and nodded against Jane.

"When did you sleep last? For more than two hours?"

And as if on cue, their daughter started crying.

"No, no, no," Maura said in a voice laced with emotion as she rolled over, "I just fed her ten minutes ago!"

"Hey," Jane responded, stopping Maura from getting out of bed, "I got her, ok?"

Jane rolled out of bed and picked up the little peanut, cradling the fussy newborn in her arms. "Shh. It's ok, baby," Jane cooed as her daughter continued to cry.

Maura reached out, expecting Jane to pass the baby over after her cooing failed to calm her down.

"Let's go for a little walk, alright?" Jane said to the bundle in her arms. Leaning over, she kissed Maura's cheek, "Try to get some sleep, ok? I'll take her to the nursery and try to calm her down."

Maura smiled, "I love you."

"I love you too. Goodnight," Jane said, flicking off the lights before heading down the hall.

* * *

For twenty minutes, Jane tried everything from sitting in the rocking chair to offering her finger as a pacifier to placing Baby in the crib and making silly faces at her from above. She wasn't having any luck.

Her daughter continued to squirm and let out fussy little whimpers.

"Oh come on, baby, you're killing me here. What's wrong, huh? What can I do?" Jane asked as she paced around the room, noticing her daughter seemed to get quiet when she spoke.

"Hm," Jane said as she paused in front of the bookshelf, "I think I've got an idea."

Jane randomly grabbed a book, picked up her daughter from the crib and settled in on the L-shaped couch near the window. It took a minute to maneuver herself in a comfortable position of holding her baby and holding the book, but she figured it out.

"Alright, what do we got," Jane paused as she read the title, "Stellaluna by Janell Cannon." Jane shrugged and flipped to the first page and began reading aloud.

With each page she read, the baby in her arms got quieter and more relaxed. Just like when she was in her mommy's tummy, Jane's voice had always (well, almost always) been able to soothe her.

Jane continued to read the story about a baby bat named Stellaluna who was separated from her mother when an owl attacked them. Stellaluna had landed in a bird's nest with three little baby birds named Flip, Flutter and Pip. The mama bat agreed to adopt her but only if Stellaluna behaved like a bird, not a bat. So, Stellaluna learns to eat bugs, sleep at night and hang with her head up. Eventually, she is reunited with her mother and learns that she is in fact a bat, not a bird, which explains why Stellaluna has always felt so different and struggled to fit in with her adopted bird siblings.

Jane paused halfway through, thinking of Maura. She found it almost impossible not to think of her wife as she read the story of little Stellaluna's life. There were small similarities that couldn't go unnoticed.

Jane looked up from the book when she heard a sniffle. Maura was standing in the doorway to the nursery, eyes wet. Maura had noticed the similarities, too.

"Oh sweetheart, what's wrong?" Jane asked.

Ignoring the question, Maura responded in a whisper, "That's a very sweet story."

Jane looked at her, confused, "How did you-"

Maura pointed at the baby monitor that was accidentally left on when they tested it the other day.

"Oh no," Jane said, "I'm so sorry I kept you up."

"No, don't be," Maura replied as she made her way over to sit with her family on the couch. She sat next to Jane and rested her head on her shoulder, "Keep going, please."

"Are you sure?"

Maura nodded against her.

Jane continued, revealing Stellaluna's excitement to tell her bird brothers and sisters what it's like to be a bat. She tried teaching them how to eat berries, sleep hanging upside down, and fly during the night, but it was so different from what they were used to.

" _How can we be so different and feel so much alike?" Mused Flitter_

" _And how can we feel so different and be so much alike?" Wondered Pip_

" _I think this is quite a mystery," Flap chirped._

" _I agree," said Stellaluna, "But we're friends and_ that's _a fact."_

Jane closed the book and set it down beside her.

"That was lovely," Maura said, "Such a lovely story about family, acceptance and friendship."

"Yes, it was," Jane agreed before they both glanced down at their now quiet, sleeping baby. They turned to each other and exchanged a knowing look.

* * *

The next day, after making a quick stop on her way home from the grocery store, Jane got to work in the nursery. She took down two of the wooden letters that hung above her daughter's crib and rearranged the remaining two. After hammering in a couple of nails, she added two new letters and stepped back.

Hearing the sound of the hammer, Maura had entered the room with her daughter attached to her breast. She looked at Jane who was looking up at her work and gestured for Maura to come stand next to her; she looped an arm around Maura's waist. They both smiled up at the four wooden letters that hung next to Constance's painting.

"What about her middle name?" Maura asked as she turned to look at Jane, "As much as I love it, Leonie doesn't really fit with this."

"Hm," Jane paused, thinking back, "What about the middle name you picked before? Before we got those photos?"

"Alexander?"

"Yeah. Defender of people, right? You said it reminded you of me," Jane smirked.

They both glanced at the four letters: _L-U-N-A_.

"Luna Alexander Rizzoli," Maura said as she traced a finger along Luna's cheek, "Our sweet little Lu."

Luna made a noise against Maura's breast.

"I think she likes it," Jane said with a smile.

* * *

**A/N** : Well here it is! I hope you enjoy the new name. By the time I finished 39 Weeks, Elsa just didn't sit well with me anymore, so I felt the need to change it. I also ended up changing a few things in 39 Weeks… I removed Baldwin completely (because come on, wtf was I thinking?!) and instead wrote that Maura had liked the name Alexander for a middle name because it's her mother's maiden name and the meaning "defender of people," reminded her of Jane. Anyway, thank you for reading. Let me know what you think :)


	2. Chapter 2

It had been five days since Maura had given birth and in those five days, Maura was convinced she had shed more tears than her daughter. Her emotions were on overdrive and she felt terrible about it. Here she was with her beautiful, healthy baby girl and yet Maura was feeling sad, tired and frustrated. But she was also so utterly in love. It was too many complex and contradicting emotions for the logical Dr. Isles to comprehend.

* * *

Luna's third day home had been a good day. A beautiful day. After successfully naming their baby, Jane and Maura had unintentionally devoted the entire day to oohing and ahh-ing over what they created. They were in awe of this lovely little human.

Angela had come over around noon that day to make her girls lunch while they had nap time. Both Jane and Maura were lying on their designated sides of the bed, curled inward with Luna on her back in between, her little chest rising and falling with each inhale and exhale. While the couple knew they should be utilizing the time to get their own naps in, they couldn't help themselves. They were both completely enamored.

Jane had spent ten minutes stroking Luna's cheek with her fingertip as Maura gently ran her hand over the soft patch of dark hair.

"She's beautiful," Jane whispered, "and so soft."

"She's _ours,"_ Maura whispered in return. "We made this," she said as she grabbed Luna's wrist and kissed her tiny hand.

"I think we did a pretty good job," Jane responded.

Just as Maura's eyes had started to droop with a sleepy heaviness, Luna squirmed, her little hands clenched in fists. Maura couldn't be upset even if she tired. How could she be mad when she opened her eyes and saw her beautiful wife propped up on one elbow, leaning over Luna, kissing her cheek and grabbing hold of a tiny foot and bringing it to her mouth?

"You are so dang cute," Jane said as she playfully kissed the little foot, "I could just eat you up, you little stinker."

Maura was in love.

* * *

Day four was a blur. The exhaustion had set in and started to take its toll on the new mamas, Maura in particular. Her hours were spent on a constant rotation of feeding, burping, cradling and diaper changing. Jane of course offered assistance when she could, but more often than not, Maura would dismiss her and push her away. There wasn't much Jane could do when Lu was hungry and Maura didn't see the point in handing her off just to be burped, only to have Luna back in her arms ten minutes later.

Angela had been wonderful in preparing meals for her daughters, and thank god she did. If Maura had one more thing to worry about, she'd lose it completely. Maura's meals were often spent standing in the kitchen, gorging on forkfuls of pasta or fruit while burping or soothing Luna in her arms. She hadn't quite mastered multitasking while breastfeeding yet.

The only time Maura had to herself was when Jane offered to be on diaper duty (a shock to both of them), but even that never lasted long enough for it to feel like a true break. By the end of the day, the three of them were once again resting in Jane and Maura's bed with Luna nestled between them. They had sworn they wouldn't be the type of parents who slept with their baby in bed, but for at least the first week, convenience won.

While yes, it _was_ convenient, Maura found herself missing the closeness of Jane. She had these conflicting feelings of wanting to be wrapped in Jane's arms and not wanting anyone near her. Lately she had felt like a giant feeding machine. She didn't feel like a mother, she didn't feel like a wife. She simply felt used. Used and sore and tired and lonely and claustrophobic and ugh! So many contradictions, it made her head spin. And worst of all, she felt guilty. So terribly guilty for feeling this way. While she had never been more in love, her damn hormones were messing with her mind, even more so than when she was pregnant.

And as if all that wasn't enough to deal with, Maura had started to produce mature milk, causing her breasts to become even _more_ full, firm and heavy. While Jane may have liked to joke about how large they had become, Maura just felt burdened.

* * *

Day five didn't start off much better. Luna woke up with a fussy cry around 3:00am and things seemed to go downhill from there. Sitting up against the headboard, Maura flicked on the light, pulled in her knees and rested Luna against them as she undid her swaddle to reveal a cute purple onesie.

"Hi sweetheart," Maura cooed. Even though it was three in the morning it was hard to be upset when those beautiful light eyes looked up at her. Maura leaned in and kissed her cheek, "You've got quite the appetite don't you, Lu?"

Luna let out a small noise and smiled. A reflex smile, but a smile nonetheless.

Maura lifted up her shirt, leaned back against the headboard and readjusted her hold on Luna, bringing her close to her breast to begin their routine. Although this time, something was off. Maura pulled Luna away from her breast to try again... and again... and again. For some reason her daughter wasn't latching correctly and both mother and daughter quickly became frustrated. After a few more failed attempts at a proper latch, Maura was more concerned with Luna getting fed rather than her own discomfort, so she let her daughter continue to suck in a not so gentle way. It was painful.

Maura reached for her phone and sent a quick text to her midwife asking to set up an in-home appointment with a lactation consultant as soon as possible. Once the text was sent, Maura tried her best to get comfortable but the unpleasant sensation on her breast was too persistent. So instead, she sat there and cried. Slow, quiet tears streamed down her face.

A few sniffles later, Jane shifted and slowly opened her eyes, shooting a quick glance at Maura before realizing she was crying. In less than a second, Jane was at her side, cupping Maura's face and wiping tears from her cheeks.

"Hey," she whispered in a deep, groggy voice, "Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

Maura shook her head and let out a breath as she looked down at Luna, which prompted Jane to look down as well.

In a shaky voice, Maura replied, "I can't get her to… to latch properly," Maura got out through her tears, "It hurts."

"Oh, Maur," Jane began as she leaned in to kiss Maura, but was stopped when her wife pulled away.

"No, don't. Just… don't."

"What?"

"Just go back to sleep!" Maura yelled in a frustrated voice. "There's nothing you can do anyway! Unless you have milk in those," she said as she nodded at Jane's chest, "There's nothing you can do." Her voice shook as more tears fell from her eyes and her breathing became louder.

A moment passed. Maura avoided Jane's gaze by looking down at Luna while Jane never took her eyes off of Maura. Jane was battling with her own emotions as she watched Maura so clearly struggle with her own.

"I'm sorry," Maura whispered, finally looking up at her wife.

Jane gave a sad smile and reached out with her arms, "Is she done?"

Maura looked down at Luna and noticed that she had stopped sucking, offering her breast a much needed relief. She nodded and handed her over to Jane's eager hands.

"Hi peanut," Jane whispered to the baby in her arms before looking back up at her wife who had readjusted her shirt and was now wiping the tears from her face. She looked so sad.

"Why don't you go take a shower? Have some time to yourself, alright?" Jane suggested.

Maura nodded.

"It _has_ been a while," she said in an effort to diffuse some of the tension between them.

Jane smiled.

* * *

While Maura was in the bathroom, Jane made her way downstairs with Luna clutched close to her chest.

Even though it was only 3am, Jane had a feeling she wouldn't be getting any more sleep, so she started up the coffee machine. How she managed to do it with one hand was beyond her.

As she waited for the coffee to brew, she sat down on the couch, rested her feet against the coffee table and rested Luna against her thighs.

"Hi baby," she cooed, "You just don't wanna give mommy a break do you? You've been doing so well, peanut. What changed, huh?"

Jane stared at her daughter as if expecting an answer. Luna just looked on with sleepy eyes.

"You gotta respect the boob, little one. Trust me, I'm an expert," Jane said with a laugh. "And if you love me, you'll be gentle otherwise mommy's never gonna let me touch them again."

Luna made a little noise.

"I'll take that as an agreement," Jane said as she reached for her phone.

* * *

Meanwhile, Maura stood naked in front of the bathroom mirror and nearly had a breakdown. As a woman who took pride in her appearance and the effort she put into staying fit, the sight before her made Maura quickly step into the open shower without a second glance at the mirror.

The hot water trickled down her back as Maura looked down. Her belly, although much smaller, still looked as if it were carrying a baby, but instead of being held tight, her skin was loose and saggy. As petty as it seemed, she really missed her taught, yoga-toned midsection. Her fingertips traced the indents of stretch marks and she saw the newly familiar discharge running down her leg. Maura started to cry.

In an effort to muffle the noise and wash the tears from her eyes, Maura turned her body to face the faucet and hissed as the spray roughly hit her sensitive breasts. The pain caused her to cry even more. Turning back around she looped an arm over her chest to protect herself from the water while the other tried to open a bottle of shampoo. It slipped from her hand.

And that was the final straw. Just one minor inconvenience on a growing pile of frustrations. Maura stepped away from the spray until her back connected with the tiled wall and slid down. She pulled her knees in close, rested her forehead on top of her arms and sobbed. Heavy, ugly sobs.

* * *

Jane poured coffee into two mugs as she gently bounced Luna in her arm. She was reaching for the sugar when her mother burst through the back door.

"What's wrong? Is everything alright?!" Angela questioned in a frantic voice.

"Shh! I'm trying to get her to sleep!" Jane responded in a loud whisper as she handed her mom a steaming cup. "Sit down," Jane said, gesturing to the row of barstools.

"It's almost 3:30 in the morning, Jane. You can't just text me _can you come over_ and not expect me to be concerned."

"Look, I'm sorry alright?" Jane said as she took a seat next to her mom, placing Luna in her carrier on the counter. "It's just… I was hoping you could watch her for a little bit."

Noticing something was off with her daughter, Angela prodded, "Honey, what's wrong?"

Jane sighed. "Nothing."

"Jane."

"Ugh, fine. It's Maura—"

"Is she alright?!"

"Would you let me finish?"

"Sorry," Angela said and made a motion of zipping her lips.

"She's fine, I mean I think she is, but… I don't know. It's been a rough morning with breastfeeding… Lu wasn't latching correctly and I don't know. She just seems sad. And so frustrated. I'm trying to help as best I can and I'm really trying not to get upset when she lashes out at me because I know she doesn't mean it, but it's just… it's hard." Jane sighed. "Anyway, I was hoping you could watch Luna for a little bit so I can talk to her. And to give her a little break. Can you do that?"

"Of course, sweetheart."

"Thank you."

"Where is she right now?" Angela asked.

"Taking a shower. I think it's her first one since we've been home."

"Poor thing."

"Yeah," Jane said as she hopped off the stool, "I'm gonna go check on her."

"Alright, take your time."

"Thanks, ma."

"And Janie?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't take it personally, alright? I've been through this three times before and it's perfectly normal for her to feel what she's feeling. It's a big change and her emotions are all over the place. She's probably in shock at the lack of time she has to herself. It's very overwhelming, but it'll pass. Just be there for her, ok?

In an uncharacteristic move Jane leaned in and hugged her mother.

"I love you, ma. Thank you."

"I love you too sweetheart. Good luck."

* * *

Jane approached the bathroom door with caution and gently knocked.

"Hey Maur?" She asked, "Are you alright in there?"

She didn't hear a response, so she knocked once more, a little louder this time and called out again, "Hon?"

Still nothing. A part of Jane wanted to walk away and just let her be, but the cop instinct in her was telling her otherwise.

"I'm coming in, ok?" She said as she slowly opened the door and shut it behind her.

When she saw her wife huddled in the corner of the shower, she had to resist every urge to not run in there and hold her. Jane took a few steps closer until she was at the opening of the shower.

"Maura?" She asked gently.

Startled, Maura looked up and greeted Jane with red, puffy eyes.

The sight broke Jane's heart and she could no longer resist the urge. She began to lift up her t-shirt when Maura called out, "No! Don't. I don't want to see your… your _perfect_ body right now. I can't handle it!" Maura cried.

Jane let her shirt fall back down against her skin and without a care in the world she stepped into the shower.

"What are you doing?" Maura asked in confusion and concern for Jane's clothing which was instantly soaked.

"If you think I'm gonna let a little water stop me from finding out what's wrong, you are sorely mistaken. Come on," Jane said as she reached her hands out to help Maura stand.

Maura's sobs continued as she barked back a response, "I don't want you to see me like this!"

"Too late," Jane said, "Come on, stand up."

"No!"

"Maura. Stand. Up. I know you're feeling sad and self-conscious but that doesn't mean you get to shut me out! Stand up!" Jane yelled louder than she intended, her voice laced with emotions. She herself was on the verge of tears.

Reluctantly, Maura outstretched her hands and let Jane pull her up and lead her over to the small bench in the shower and sat her down before turning off the water. Maura took the few seconds to try to cover herself up as much as possible. The effort was in vain. Jane kneeled in front of her wife and took both hands in her own, leaving all parts of Maura exposed. But the only place Jane looked was her eyes.

Maura shifted uncomfortably at the level of exposure as tears continued to trail down her cheeks.

"You wanna tell me what happened?"

"No," Maura said weakly.

"Maura," Jane replied in a stern voice as she squeezed her wife's hands, "Please talk to me," she bit back a sob of her own, "Don't shut me out. _Please_."

A few minutes passed as they both stared at one another with tears in their eyes.

"I," Maura began, but cleared her throat, "I was trying to open the shampoo bottle but it slipped from my hand."

Before Jane could interject with a "that's it?" comment, Maura continued. "It slipped from my hand because I was trying to do it with one hand," Maura took a deep, shaky breath, "Because the water pressure was hurting by breasts, so I had to cover them with my arm and the bottle slipped and I got frustrated. I'm so frustrated!" She yelled as her emotions started to get the best of her again.

Jane squeezed the hands she was holding.

"I can't even wash my own hair! And I feel hideous!" Maura choked out through her tears, "I'm covered in stretch marks, my stomach is flabby, I'm practically living in sanitary pads and, and—" she breathed in heavily, "It's no wonder you don't touch me anymore!" She managed to get out before another sob coursed through her body.

"Because you won't let me!" Jane yelled back. Not in anger, but frustration and sadness. "God damn it, Maura! You know I think you're beautiful."

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm not, I—" realizing she wasn't going to get anywhere with Maura in this state, Jane stopped. "Come on," she said as she stood up, pulling Maura up with her.

This is not what Maura had expected after her outburst.

"What?"

"Just come on," Jane said as she let go of Maura's hands and turned around to allow her wife some privacy, "Go get in the tub."

Maura's brow ruffled in confusion, but decided to follow the instruction. She stepped out of the shower and got into the free standing tub, once again pulling in her knees to shield herself.

"Can I look now?" Jane called from the shower.

"Yes," Maura said softly, her voice feeling raw from the display of emotion. She felt like she was having an outer body experience. She didn't like what she was saying and she didn't like how she was acting, but she couldn't stop.

Jane took a deep breath before stepping out of the shower and making her way over to the tub. She knelt beside it and turned on the faucet.

"Can you scoot up a bit?" Jane asked as she reached for the removable handshower.

Maura did as instructed, still sitting with her knees against her chest.

"Tilt your head back a little. Please." Jane instructed.

Again, Maura did as she was told, but curiosity got the best of her, "What are you doing?"

"Shh. Just relax."

Jane tested the water temperature before slowly bringing it up to Maura's head, letting the warm water soak her hair and trickle down her back.

After a few minutes, she put down the handshower and reached for the lavender-mint shampoo, squeezing a healthy amount in her hands before threading them through Maura's damp hair, massaging her scalp.

And that's when Maura figured it out. Jane was washing her hair. The sweetness of the gesture was overwhelming and Maura let out another shaky breath as fresh tears streamed down her cheeks. This time she was crying for an entirely different reason.

Jane noticed the tears but decided not to comment. Instead she continued to rinse out the shampoo.

After a few moments, Maura asked, "Where's Lu?"

"Downstairs with my ma."

"But it's not even 4:00am?"

Jane shrugged. "People do crazy things for the ones they love."

She let her hands linger for a few moments after all the soap had been washed out of Maura's hair, simply enjoying the touch. Reluctantly, she pulled back and reached for the bar of soap, handing it to Maura.

"I'll let you finish cleaning up," Jane said before leaning in and placing a sweet, gentle kiss on Maura's temple. "I'm gonna go check on them."

Jane was halfway out the door when she heard Maura's quiet voice call out.

"Jane?"

Jane turned, "Yeah?"

"Thank you."

Jane smiled and exited the bathroom.

* * *

"How is she?" Jane asked her mother upon entering the living room.

"I could ask you the same thing."

Jane let out a small laugh which was lacking in humor, "She's… she'll be fine."

"You know I'm happy to watch her for a little longer if you want me to," Angela said, "But she's getting a little fussy. I think she's hungry."

"I'm sure she is," Jane said, taking Luna from her mother's arms, "It's been a little over an hour since her last feeding… which didn't go very well."

"I'll tell ya what, you bring her upstairs, let Maura feed her and I'll start some breakfast for the two of you."

"It's 4:00am, Ma."

"So? You're both up aren't you? And hungry?"

"True."

"Now, shoo. And bring Luna back down when she's done. I'll watch her for as long as you need me."

Jane smiled and headed upstairs.

* * *

Maura was sitting on the edge of the bed, rubbing lotion on her legs when she heard a gentle knock on the door.

"Come in," she said in worn-out voice.

"Hey," Jane responded.

"She must be hungry," Maura stated as she reached her arms out.

Jane nodded, feeling so grateful that her wife didn't make her ask, didn't make her feel like a burden.

Maura leaned back against the headboard, pulled in her legs to sit pretzel style, and slipped open her robe. She hissed as she felt Luna's mouth make contact with her breast.

Jane frowned at her wife's discomfort and sat down across from her, mirroring her position.

"Still not right?" Jane asked gently as she reached out to rest a hand on Maura's knee.

Maura shook her head, doing her best to keep from crying again. Jane gave her a comforting squeeze.

Fifteen minutes passed before Maura spoke.

"I set up an appointment with a lactation consultant. She's stopping by this afternoon."

"That's good!" Jane replied, hoping her enthusiasm would make her wife feel better.

Maura shook her head again. "I feel like a bad mom," she said through tears, "I don't want to be a bad mom."

Just when Jane thought she'd heard it all, every heartbreaking confession, Maura revealed the most painful one of all.

Jane reached up to Maura's cheek, forcing her to look at her, "Oh honey. You're not. You are _not_ a bad mom. You're won—" She was cut off by an all too familiar voice.

"Hi babies," Angela said as she made her way across the bedroom with a tray in her hands, "I made breakfast," she beamed as she sat down the tray on the end of the bed.

"Ma!"

"What? I thought it would be easier if I brought it up here instead of making you come downstairs," she said as she stepped closer to her family.

Maura was quickly wiping at her face, doing her best to look composed in front of the Rizzoli matriarch.

"Let me take her off your hands for a while, alright honey?" Angela asked as she reached down to take Luna from her mother's arms.

"No, Angela it's ok. I can handle it."

"I know you can, sweetie. But that doesn't mean you don't deserve a break. It's ok to ask for help, baby." Angela said, scooping up Luna and leaning in to kiss Maura on the cheek, "Asking for help doesn't make you a bad mother. It makes you a smart one."

Angela's words made Maura burst into tears.

"Angela," she choked out.

"Shh," Angela protested, "I know," she said turning her attention towards Jane, who was also crying, "You girls get some rest. I'll be downstairs if you need me. I love you both."

Jane couldn't formulate a response, but hoped her mother could see the gratitude in her eyes.

"And eat those pancakes!" Angela called as she made her way down the hallway with Luna in tow.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, after Angela's words and bunny pancakes had been digested in silence, Jane and Maura found themselves under the covers.

"Hi," Maura whispered in the semi-darkness.

"Hey," Jane whispered back.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for earlier. I was just—"

"Frustrated. It's ok, Maur. I know how hard this is for you. And yes, it hurts me to see you so sad and it hurts when you take it out on me, but I get it. I know you're used to being alone and being in a relationship with me and my loud crazy family was hard enough for you to adjust to, so I can't even imagine what it feels like for you to have this little baby who needs you constantly, but you're doing so great, Maur. But you need to promise me that you'll talk to me. Let me help you. Don't shut me out. _Please_ don't shut me out."

"I promise," Maura whispered, her voice once again laced with emotion. "I won't. I won't shut you out. I'm so sorry."

"Can I hold you now?"

"Please" Maura replied eagerly as she quickly nuzzled herself up next to Jane. "I love you."

"I love you, too."


	3. Chapter 3

"Well that went well, huh?" Jane asked Maura as they walked out of the birthing center after Maura and Luna's two-week check up.

"Mhmm," Maura responded, "Perfectly healthy, although I'm a little concerned that she's underweight."

"But that's an easy fix, right? Allison said it was because of those couple of days when Lu was having trouble latching. Now that she's perfected the boob sucking, we're good to go," Jane smirked, "She's definitely my daughter."

Maura shook her head and couldn't help but laugh, "You and the boob jokes."

"Never gets old."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Maura said as they reached their car.

"Lu likes 'em."

"Your jokes or my boobs?" Maura playfully joked back.

"Look at you with the snark, damn. We've clearly been together too long," Jane teased.

"Not possible."

Once Luna was safely secured in her carseat, Jane hopped in the drivers seat and Maura took her spot in the back next to Lu, still not ready to let her daughter be by herself.

"So," Jane said as she pulled out of the parking lot and glanced in the mirror to look at Maura, "I was thinking since you haven't been out much, we could spend the day away from the house. Grab a late brunch, maybe head over to our favorite little park for a while? I mean, if you're feeling up to it."

Maura smiled at Jane's reflection in the mirror, "I'd like that very much."

"Good."

They continued to ride in silence until Maura's curiosity got the best of her, "Where are we going for brunch?" she asked.

"It's a secret. But I'll give you a hint… we've never been there before."

"Well that really narrows it down," Maura huffed in annoyance. Jane just smiled.

"Don't worry, I think you'll like it."

A few minutes later, Jane parallel parked and helped Maura remove the carseat from it's base to carry Luna.

"We should've brought the stroller," Maura said, shutting the car door.

"It's alright, the restaurant is just a block away. This thing isn't too heavy," Jane replied.

The couple strolled down the street, hand in hand. Maura absolutely thrilled to be out of house.

"Alright," Jane said as she stopped in front of the restaurant, "We're here."

"What's so special about this- _oh_ ," Maura's thought stopped as she looked up to read the sign, "Cafe Luna," she whispered. Turning to Jane, Maura displayed a toothy grin, "You are _such_ a softie."

"Shh," Jane said before kissing Maura on the cheek, "That's our little secret. Come on, let's eat. I already know what I'm getting… the s'mores french toast stuffed with chocolate marshmallow creme."

Maura's eyes widened.

"Or the Nutella stuffed french toast, I haven't decided."

"That sounds extremely unhealthy," Maura began, "Let's get both."

Jane was about to whine with a, _but mauraaaa,_ when Maura's words finally caught up with her. She looked over at her wife who was grinning proudly.

"I knew there was a reason I married you," Jane said.

"Yes, you've told me," Maura responded, doing her best not to laugh and mess up her delivery, "my breasts, right?"

Jane burst out laughing, "Oh my god. I love you."

* * *

An hour or so later, bellies stuffed with Nutella and marshmallow fluff, the Rizzoli-Isles family settled beneath the shade of a giant tree at their favorite park. The sun was warm, the breeze was gentle and Maura could not be happier.

"She did pretty great for her first day out," Jane said as she lay down on the large Red Sox blanket, reaching out to grab Lu from her mommy's arms. She settled the sleepy little baby against her chest while Maura fixed her shirt and folded up the little bib she used for burping.

"She did," Maura agreed, placing the cloth in Lu's diaper bag before laying down next to Jane, snuggling in close and resting her head on Jane's shoulder, "I'm surprised she lasted through brunch without being fussy. We probably shouldn't get used to that."

"Probably not. But it was nice."

"Yes, it was," Maura agreed. "I can't believe she's already two weeks old."

"They grow up so fast," Jane teased.

"I'm serious! Just look at her, Jane. She's already getting bigger and she's focusing more. Sleeping less," Maura said as she reached out to stroke Luna's chubby little cheek.

"I know, I can't believe it either. She's getting so big. And cuter by the minute."

The threesome sat in a comfortable silence, reveling in perfect weather and the time spent together as a family. Jane closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of her two favorite people against her while Maura watched as Luna's eyes slowly fluttered shut.

Maura prolonged the silence for a few minutes longer before speaking, "I should really put her in the carrier; let her sleep on her back," she said as she sat up.

"But I like her baby snuggles," Jane replied with a pouty face.

Maura said nothing, just gave her wife "the look."

"Fine," Jane conceded with a huff and handed Luna over to her mommy. She closed her eyes as Maura tucked Lu into her carrier and adjusted the cover to block out the sun; placing it near Jane so they could both keep an eye on their daughter.

Once done, Maura rejoined her wife. Opting to lay on top of Jane instead of next to her. She straddled Jane's left leg between her own and looped her right arm beneath Jane's left to hold onto her shoulder.

"What about my snuggles?" Maura asked before placing a quick kiss on Jane's lips.

"I like those too," replied, "I like them a lot."

Maura smiled and enjoyed a moment to gaze down at her wife; a moment to re-familiarize herself with every detail of Jane's face.

There was just one thing missing.

"Hi," Maura whispered and Jane smiled.

"Hi."

"There it is," Maura said as she brought her left hand to Jane's cheek, tracing the dimple that was now visible. She leaned in and kissed it before laying her head down on Jane's chest.

"Is it weird," Maura began as she reached out with her left hand to grab Jane's right, "That I miss you, even though we've spent everyday of the past two weeks together? Miss feeling you against me. Being with you. Just the two of us."

"Not weird," Jane responded, wrapping her left arm around Maura's waist, drawing patterns with her fingertips, "I feel it to."

Maura tilted her head and placed a warm kiss on the skin of Jane's neck. "I miss kissing you. Feeling you. Making love to you. Being intimate." Another kiss.

Jane groaned. "Keep talking like that and I'm going to have to arrest myself for indecent exposure."

Maura let out a laugh, the air tickling Jane's neck. "Sorry, I really shouldn't be teasing you when I'm not even ready. I mean, _I'm_ ready, it's just… my body's not."

"I know," Jane replied, "It's ok."

"Is it?" Maura asked, "I mean, it's been a while. Have you been...relieving yourself?"

"Maura!"

"What? It's an honest question. I'm just curious. We haven't had sex in over a month. I just want to make sure your needs are being met."

A few moments passed without a response, so Maura shifted her leg between Jane's, applyling pressure to the area in question.

"Ah! _Maura_ ," Jane said in a warning voice.

"You didn't answer my question."

" _You_ don't play fair."

"Life's not fair," Maura playfully replied, pressing her thigh harder against Jane, "So, have you?"

"I…" Jane began, "Yes, I have ok? I'm sorry!"

Maura propped herself up on her elbow to look down at Jane, "Don't. Don't be sorry."

"You're not mad?"

"Of course not, it's perfectly natural. Although," Maura's voice lowered to a seductive tone, "Next time you… get the urge," she whispered in Jane's ear, "You should let me know. I'd be happy to offer my assistance. Or watch. I'd be very happy to watch."

"Oh you would, would you?" Jane asked as her hands traveled down Maura's back, giving her ass a firm squeeze before rolling them over, pinning Maura beneath her.

"I'll have to keep that in mind," she said before lowering her body down and kissing Maura slowly.

"Indecent," Maura gasped between kisses "exposure...mmm… remember?"

After one more passionate kiss, Jane reluctantly rolled off of Maura, leaving them both breathing heavily.

"We need to do that more often," Maura managed to get out.

"Makeouts with heavy petting, I'll add it to our schedule," Jane said with a grin and rolled her head to the side to look at Maura.

Maura did the same and reached down to link her fingers with Jane's. "I love you," she said.

"I love you, too."

They shared one more smile before turning their attention to the sky, looking up to watch the clouds.

A few minutes later, Jane's soft, low voice broke the silence, "It's nice," she said as she continued to look up at the sky, "Seeing you like this. Happy."

Maura titled her head to the side to once again look at her wife, her smile fading as she listened to Jane's words.

"I'm sorry," Maura replied before returning her gaze to the clouds. "About last week, I mean. I've been meaning to talk to you about it, we just haven't had the time."

"I'm not mad at you," Jane said firmly.

"I know, I know you're not," Maura responded with a squeeze to Jane's hand, "But I'm still sorry. The way I treated you… the way I spoke to you… it wasn't ok. You've been nothing but supportive and I wish I hadn't lashed out at you. I didn't mean to shut you out. It's just been a lot for me to adjust to."

"I know."

"I appreciate how understanding you've been. I could never do this without you and I'm so grateful I have you in my life; so grateful for your love. Thank you. For everything."

Jane looked over at Maura who was wiping a stray tear from her cheek.

"Aw, Maur. Don't cry. Come here," Jane said with her arms open

"I know, I know," Maura said, as she settled herself against her wife, Jane's arms tightening around her. "I just don't want you to think that I'm not enjoying this; being a mom. Or that I don't love Lu… I've never loved anyone or anything more than I love her. I just want you to know that. No matter what I say in frustration or when my emotions get the best of me, I want you to know that I love her. And I love you."

"Oh, Maura. Of course I know you love her. Of course I do. I would never, _ever_ question your love for her, sweetheart."

"I know," Maura whispered, "I just needed to say it."

The couple enjoyed a few more minutes of snuggling before that familiar little cry rang out.

"Hear that?" Jane asked, "That's baby talk for, _I know mommy_ ," Jane said in a mock kid voice, " _And I love you too_!"

Maura laughed as she sat up, "You're such a dork."

Jane joined in on the laughter, "Come on, let's get out of here. This dork is going to need some... _assistance…_ when we get home," Jane winked.


	4. Chapter 4

Jane and Maura's successful day out turned into a successful night home. Maybe Luna had sensed that her mama was about to get lucky or maybe she really was just tired; either way, Jane was very appreciative of her cooperative little baby.

After returning home from the park and enjoying a quick dinner, Jane and Maura found themselves snuggling on the couch watching a movie they'd seen a million times while their daughter napped. Neither of them were really paying attention to the action happening on the screen. Jane was distracted by the weight of her wife on top of her; once again amazed by how good it felt, that feeling of warmth, protection, comfort, _love_ all rolled into one. Jane was content with the comfort, the distraction. Until she felt Maura's lips against her throat.

" _Maura_ ," she replied, trailing her hands down Maura's back before slipping them beneath her shirt, exploring smooth skin with her fingertips.

Maura responded with another kiss. A bite. A rolling of hips.

"If you keep doing that, I won't be able to stop touching you," Jane whispered as her hands dropped lower, giving Maura's ass a firm squeeze.

"I don't want you to stop," Maura said, kissing below Jane's ear.

"But we still have, like, a month before you're cleared, for, you know, this...stuff," Jane replied, impressed with the length of her sentence.

"Did you forget our conversation from earlier, detective?" Maura whispered; her tongue trailing down Jane's neck as her left hand reached beneath Jane's tank top to squeeze her wife's breasts.

"I...um," Jane was finding it hard to concentrate as Maura's thumb grazed over her nipple and her mouth sucked roughly at her collarbone.

"I want to watch you," Maura purred, her voice vibrating against Jane's neck. She shifted her leg to press between Jane's thighs, "I want to watch you come."

"Jesus… _fuck_ ," Jane responded with a roll of her hips against Maura's thigh.

Maura reached her hand out to the coffee table, grabbing the remote to turn off the TV, "And I want to _hear_ you come."

Jane let out a groan as Maura removed herself from Jane's body and sat back on her heels between Jane's legs. Her loose-fitting sweater revealing a pale, freckled shoulder.

"Will you let me?" Maura asked as her hands latched onto to Jane's sweatpants, slowly pulling them down Jane's legs, quickly noticing her wife went without underwear. Maura smirked, "Based on your lack of undergarments, it appears you did remember our conversation." She removed the pants completely and tossed them behind the couch.

Maura bent down to kiss the insides of Jane's thighs. "So, will you let me?"

"Wh-what?" Jane questioned, her mind and body in overdrive... It had been so long since they had touched like this.

"Will you let me watch you?" Maura asked as she sat back on her heels, resting her hands on Jane's knees, exposing her even more.

"I... Yes," Jane sighed; her left hand skimming down her body until her fingertips met curls.

"You're nervous," Maura stated, noticing Jane's hesitancy to touch herself.

"Wha?" Jane said, making eye contact with Maura, "I just... We've never done... _This_ before."

Maura paused, her face clearly depicting her surprise that they had not, in fact, done this in front of one another before. They never really had reason to.

"Don't be nervous, it's just me," Maura said as she gripped Jane's wrist, guiding it to where she knew Jane needed it most.

Jane gasped as her fingers came in contact with her own arousal, shocked at how wet she already was.

Still sensing her wife's hesitancy, Maura positioned herself on all fours above Jane, resting her hands on both sides of Jane's head, her knees still between Jane's legs.

Jane's eyes watched her every move.

Maura leaned in to place a gentle kiss on Jane's lips, a gentle kiss that was quickly joined by tongues and the occasional biting of teeth. Five solid minutes of heavy breathing through noses, the thrusting of Jane's hips, and moans from Maura's mouth was all it took for Jane to finally stroke her fingers through her wetness. In addition to the kissing, Jane's free hand had found its way beneath the fabric of Maura's yoga pants, firmly palming the ample flesh. The action caused Maura to drop down on her elbows in an effort to stop herself from becoming dead weight against Jane's body.

Reluctantly, Jane broke away from the kiss and Maura dropped her forehead to rest against her shoulder. Jane tilted her head and leaned in, her mouth latching on to Maura's neck.

"Mmmm," Maura exhaled. Kisses to her neck would always be her unraveling. Putty in Jane's hands.

"I wish I could feel you inside me," she moaned into Jane's ear, "I can't wait for you to fuck me again."

"God damnit, Maur," Jane panted.

"Wh-what do you think about? When you touch yourself and I'm not around?" Maura asked in an effort to get Jane's mouth off her neck so she could focus.

"You," Jane said before biting down on Maura's neck, her fingers still slowly moving through folds.

Maura laughed at the response. Reluctantly, she removed herself from Jane's assault and sat back to remove Jane's tank top.

Once removed, Maura leaned in to trail kisses down Jane's throat.

"Do you replay scenes we've already experienced, or do you think of fantasies," Maura's asked as she swiped her tongue over the patch of skin between Jane's breasts. The action causing Jane's hand on her ass to squeeze tighter.

"B-both," Jane managed to get out.

"Tell me," Maura whispered before enclosing her warm, wet mouth on Jane's breast.

"I," Jane gasped, "Jesus, Maura."

Maura's mouth sucked harder, "Tell me, Jane."

"I-I think about that time... that time in the hotel af-after that charity event..."

Maura's mouth trailed lower.

"...when I fucked you on the couch..."

"Mmm," Maura moaned against her abdomen.

"...And on the floor..."

"I think I have a scar from the rug burn."

"You do," Jane panted, "I kiss it every time I see it."

"What else?" Maura asked before trailing her tongue back up Jane's stomach.

"Or that time on the plane, when I made you come..."

"What about that time," Maura began as she returned her mouth to Jane's breast, "At work, late at night after everyone had gone home and I found you in the basement looking through boxes of old case files?"

Jane moaned just thinking about it, her fingers picking up speed.

"And you fucked me so hard against the shelves we had to spend over an hour picking up all the fallen boxes and files?"

"Jesus," Jane gasped. Maura swearing was one of her favorite sounds. The fact that no one would expect it from the prim and proper Dr. Isles made it that much sexier. If people only knew how dirty her mouth was...

"Or the time you got me drunk and I went down on you in the bathroom at the Dirty Robber?"

"Fuck," Jane was getting close. With her free hand, she tangled her fingers in Maura's hair and pressed her against her breast. That dirty mouth of hers was doing wonderful things and she didn't want her to stop.

Maura bit down gently as her right hand traveled down to join Jane's; her fingers rubbed the bundle of nerves.

Jane's hand moved from Maura's head to the couch cushion in an effort to not pull Maura's hair out, giving Maura the opportunity to move her mouth from Jane's breast and back up to her neck.

"Fucking shit... _Fuck_... Oh my... Mmpf..."

"That's it, Jane," Maura whispered before leaning back on her heels. This whole thing started because she wanted to watch, so she figured she should at least do that.

Maura was mesmerized as she watched those long, familiar fingers pump in and out of Jane's center. Slick noises and Jane's heavy breathing filled the room. Music to Maura's ears.

Maura continued her ministrations on the bundle of nerves, watching as Jane arched her back and palmed her own breast.

"Come for me, sweetheart."

And she did. Hard. Over a month without sex will do that to a person.

Jane collapsed against the couch cushions, eyes closed, panting heavily.

Maura smiled at the sight before her. Secretly proud that she was able to make Jane feel this way just from memories...and a little bit of touching.

She allowed Jane to catch her breath before she reached down for Jane's wet hand, bringing it up to her mouth. Jane opened her eyes just in time to watch her wife suck the set of digits into her mouth; moaning at the taste that had been absent from her life for far too long.

"Fuck," Jane said for the umpteenth time that night before roughly pulling maura against her and kissing her, "I can't wait to fuck you," she rasped as her hands groped every accessible inch of Maura's body.

Maura laughed into the kiss, "Mmm, believe me, I can't wait either."

They spent the next hour or so kissing and grinding against one another; so much time had passed since they had been intimate and they still had over a month to wait before they could truly make love again, so Maura took the opportunity to just feel her wife against her.

They didn't stop until Luna's voice rang out over the baby monitor. Back to reality.

"Looks like it's time for another type of boob sucking," Jane said with a laugh.

Maura rolled her eyes, "Put your clothes on," she said as she made her way upstairs.

"You're the one who took them off!"

"I'm also the one who got you off," Maura yelled from the top of the stairs.

"Touché."


	5. Chapter 5

"Are you sure you'll be ok?" Maura asked frantically as she busied herself around the kitchen.

Jane opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted, "You know what, no, I'll just tell Angela to go without me. It's fine, really. I'll stay."

"Maura," Jane said, gently rocking the baby in her arms, "Go. We'll be fine. I mean, you're just going to the market to get ingredients for dinner tonight, right? I think I can handle an hour alone with our child."

Maura turned to Jane after closing the refrigerator door, "I know, I know. Of course you'll be fine. I just," her sentence died on her lips as she walked over to stand next to Jane, peering down at Luna. She was silent for a moment longer before Jane's soft voice pulled her out of her daze.

"Go," Jane urged, "I promise I'll call you if anything happens," Maura looked up at Jane with wide eyes, " _If_ , Maura, _if_. But nothing's going to happen."

"I-," Maura tried to think of another excuse as to why she should stay, but failed, "Ok. I just fed her 20 minutes ago, so she should be fine, but there's a bottle of pumped milk in the fridge. You know how to-"

"Yes, Maura! Just go," Jane responded with a laugh.

"You're right, I'm being silly," Maura said before leaning down to kiss Luna's cheek, "I'll be back soon. I love you."

Jane kissed the top of Maura's head, "I love you too. Now go," she said, playfully slapping Maura's bottom.

When Jane finally heard the garage door close, she looked down at the baby in her arms, "You are gonna break her heart," Jane said with a laugh as Luna sucked on her little fist, "She can barely go to the grocery store without you. I don't know how she's gonna handle going back to work… oh god, and your first day of preschool!"

Jane made her way into the living room, gently placing Luna in her little bouncy chair, complete with a planet and stars mobile.

After Lu was situated, Jane plopped down on the couch and turned on a baseball game. Lu lasted approximately 7 minutes before her wail echoed throughout the room.

"Aw, come on peanut, the game's just getting good," Jane huffed as she got up from the couch and bent down near her daughter, "Look," she cooed, tapping one of the planets. The action caught Luna's attention for half a second before she continued to cry.

"Alright, come on baby," Jane said as she scooped up Lu, "What's wrong sweetheart? You can't be hungry again already, can you? Mommy just fed you."

Half an hour later after a failed attempt at a feeding, a diaper change and rocking Luna in her arms, the crys hadn't let up. "Come on sweetheart," Jane said with a hint of panic in her voice as she looked down at her daughter who was squirming on the changing table in her nursery, "I wish you could tell me- what the?" Jane looked down at her shirt and noticed a large wet spot from spit up, "Gross," she said and swiftly discarded her top, leaving herself standing in nothing but jeans and a bra. That gave her an idea.

Jane picked up Luna and headed over to the L-shaped couch they kept in the nursery. Laying down, she placed her daughter on her chest, "How 'bout some skin-to-skin time, huh? Mommy always says how important it is," she whispered, "And you get tummy time, too."

Lu squirmed a bit before quieting down. Jane laughed as she watched her daughter try to lift her head up a few times before giving up and resting her cheek on her Mama's chest. Jane closed her eyes and smiled, enjoying the one-on-one time and the feel of Luna's soft baby skin against her own.

A few minutes later Jane felt a little hand on her breast and a mouth on the skin left exposed by her bra. Jane opened her eyes to see that Luna had moved her head closer to Jane's breast and was now trying to suck on it. "Oh my god," Jane through a laugh, "you really _are_ my daughter."

"Ah, fuc-, I mean… fudge it. If you're topless, I might as well join ya, huh peanut?" Jane asked as she sat up briefly to unhook her bra and toss it aside. She placed a pillow behind her and lay back down. Luna's mouth quickly found her Mama's nipple. "You're not gonna get anything out of these ones, baby, but if it makes you feel better, go for it," Jane said as she watched on in awe. The sensation took a few minutes to get used to and it did feel a little weird, but it was nice sharing this moment with her. Luna shifted her head and her little eyes looked straight up at Jane. Jane melted. "Hi, baby," she whispered, feeling herself get emotional, "Hi."

Jane watched for a few minutes longer before closing her eyes and rubbing her hands gently up and down Luna's bare back, stopping occasionally to play with her little toes.

Before long, she heard her wife's voice echo through the house, "Jane?" she yelled from downstairs, followed by Angela's reassuring voice, "I'm sure they're fine, sweetheart. Jane's probably just changing a diaper…"

Jane laughed at the exchange and listened for Maura's footsteps up the stairs.

"Jane?" She called again.

"In here, Maur," Jane replied.

A minute later, Maura stood in the doorway of the nursery. Jane watched as her face flooded with relief, followed by confusion before finally settling on a soft smile.

Maura stepped into the nursery and made her way over to her family, pausing briefly to take in the sight before removing the pillow that was supporting Jane and took a seat. Jane lifted her head before lowering down to rest on Maura's lap. Maura's fingers tangled in dark locks, gently scratching Jane's scalp. It was one of Jane's favorite feelings.

"How'd it go?" Maura asked as she looked at the loves of her life.

"Good."

"And you're topless because…?" Maura asked with a laugh.

"Ok, ok. It was all good and then she started crying and I tried everything and she wouldn't stop and then I noticed spit up on my shirt and I figured why not have some skin on skin time and... here we are."

"Here we are," Maura repeated.

Moments passed as the three sat in silence; Maura's fingers never stopping.

"I can see why you like it," Jane said after a while, "Breastfeeding, I mean."

"When she's cooperative, yes. I enjoy it very much. It's very special."

"And when she looks up at you with those eyes… gah," Jane said, "She just turns me into mush."

Maura looked down at Jane with an adoring smile, "You know, you could start pumping a few times a day to induce lactation. If you want to turn into mush more often."

Jane just laughed, "I don't want to take that time away from you."

Maura frowned, "You wouldn't be taking anything away from me Jane."

"I know, I just…. I don't know."

"Think about it," Maura said.

"I will."

A few hours later the Rizzoli-Isles house was filled with love and laughter and the scent of Angela's Italian cooking. It was the first Sunday dinner since Luna's birth and everyone was excited to resume the tradition. The previously named Rizzoli Family Dinner was now simply, Family Dinner as their hodgepodge family continued to grow and expand to include Isles' and Frosts and Korsaks.

Korsak was flirting with Angela in the kitchen and helping her finish up dinner while the rest of the family had scattered around the backyard. Frankie, his girlfriend Jess, Tommy and Lydia were all sitting around the porch table, drinking beer and playing cards. Constance and Henry sat on the edge of checkered blanket, watching in amusement at their granddaughter and daughter-in-law.

Both Jane and Luna lay on their bellies, face-to-face, Luna eagerly trying to lift her head up and support herself. She was getting stronger by the day, but she just wasn't quite strong enough to keep her head up. After a few more tries, she rested her against the blanket. That's when T.J ran over and joined his baby cousin, laying next to her, looking into her green eyes. He reached out with his little hand and Luna grabbed onto his finger. T.J. giggled.

"Hi baby Lulu," he said, "You is my most favoritest cousin." His only cousin, really, but no one wanted to point that out.

Jane smiled at the nickname before sitting up, turning her attention to her mother and father-in-law.

"How are you, Jane?" Constance asked.

"She's good," Jane replied without thinking.

Henry and Constance shared a look.

Jane noticed the confusion on their face, "Wait," she said, "What did you ask me?"

"I asked how _you_ were doing, dear."

"Oh, right. I'm sorry," she said, running a hand through her hair, "I'm just so used to-"

"Putting others before yourself?" Henry butt in.

The three of them laughed.

"Yes, that's exactly it," Jane replied, "Anyway, to answer your question, I'm doing great," she said with a smile. "The first week was a little rough, for all three of us really, but it's been amazing. I," Jane paused to look at her daughter and T.J. before turning back to Constance and Henry, "I've never been so in love in all my life. Both with your daughter and your granddaughter."

Jane blushed when she saw them grin at her.

"Ugh, I know," Jane laughed, "My girls turn me into a such a fluffball, it's ridiculous."

"It suits you," Constance replied.

Maura was leaning against the porch rail, watching the entire exchange happen from afar. She didn't know what was being said, but she was happy to just watch the smiles on Jane and her parent's faces. She watched with joy at her nephew and daughter's interaction.

Maura was startled out of her gazing when she felt an arm wrap around her shoulder.

She smiled a bright smile when she realized whose hand it belonged to, "Barry," she said, turning her body to allow him to wrap his arms around her, embracing her with a warm hug. Barry Frost gave the best hugs. "I'm so glad you could make it."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, doc," he replied, hugging her tighter before letting her go.

Maura had grown to love Barry Frost. Aside from Jane, he had become her best friend and she cherished the warmth and kindness he brought to her life.

"How are you?" She asked as she pulled out of the embrace, returning to her position of leaning again the porch railing. Frost joined her.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" He laughed, "But I'm good. I've missed the two of you at work… it's definitely not the same without you."

"That's very sweet," Maura replied, "I know Jane is looking forward to going back tomorrow."

"I can't believe it's been three weeks already," Frost said, turning his gaze to Jane and Luna, "She's already gotten so much bigger since the last time I saw her."

"I know," Maura said with a hint of sadness in her voice, "It's going so fast."

"Before you know it you'll be sending her off to college," Frost teased.

Maura gasped, "Don't even say that!" She said as she playfully nudged him.

They fell into a comfortable silence, watching Jane, Luna and T.J. Frost looked at Maura and smiled.

"What?" She asked.

"You look happy," he said.

Maura felt her cheeks blush, "I am."

"Looks good on you."

Angela's voice rang out from the kitchen, "Dinner!"

A couple of hours later, bellies full, the gang returned to the backyard to lounge about and enjoy the sunset.

Maura found Jane laying in the hammock she had put up months ago.

"May we join you?" Maura asked with Luna in her arms.

"Of course," Jane said, making room for her favorite girls and helping them sit down safely. The two got comfortable before Maura lifted her shirt and began feeding Lu.

"Tonight was nice," Maura said, "I've missed seeing everyone."

"Yeah, it really was," Jane agreed. "We've got a great little family, don't we?" Jane asked as she looked out at all the people most important to her.

"We certainly do."

Just then, T.J. came running across the yard, yelling along the way, "Jaaaaaane can I play with Lu-luuuuuuuuu pleeeeeease?!" He stopped as he came in contact with the hammock.

"Hey bud," Jane said, "After Maura is done feeding Lu, you can hold her, alright? But she's probably gonna be sleepy."

T.J. pouted, "Okay, fine," he said turning to look at Maura and instantly burst into a fit of giggles.

"What's so funny?" Jane asked.

"Lulu is eating Momo's booby!" He said before covering his mouth and giggling even harder.

Maura's mouth opened to respond, but all that came out was a loud laugh of her own. She looked at Jane who was almost in tears.

T.J. turned on his feet and ran towards the rest of the family, yelling at the top of his lungs, "Mommy! Baby Lulu is eating Momo's booby!"

The yard erupted with laughter.


	6. Chapter 6

Twenty minutes before Jane's alarm was set to go off, she was pulled from her slumber by the sound of Luna's cry. Next to her, Maura stirred and made a movement to get out of bed but before she could, Jane reached over and stopped her.

"I got this," she said as Maura rested her head back against the pillow, "There's a bottle of pumped milk in the fridge, right?"

Maura nodded with a yawn before asking, "Are you sure? You need to get ready."

"No, it's fine. Lu woke me up early anyway," Jane replied with a smile, "Go back to sleep."

Before Maura could protest, her eyes dropped shut and Jane slid out of bed, scooped up her fussy daughter and headed downstairs.

* * *

Half an hour later, after the alarm re-woke Maura, she slipped on her robe and headed downstairs. She was concerned that if Jane didn't start getting ready now, she'd most definitely be late on her first day back at work.

Set on taking over the mommy-role, Maura stopped in her tracks just outside the living room when she heard Jane's voice.

"Hey little Lulu monster," Jane cooed to the baby resting against her thighs, "I'm gonna miss you and mommy so much today." There was a pause as Luna made a little grunting noise and Jane laughed.

"Don't do anything too cute while I'm gone, ok?" Jane asked, a hint of emotion creeping through her voice, "I don't wanna miss anything. And you be good for mommy, you little stinker."

Mama and daughter shared a moment; wide, curious green eyes looking up into watery brown ones. "I love you, peanut."

After a few more minutes, Maura entered the room and sat down next to Jane, kissing her cheek.

"Good morning," she said in a sleepy voice and reached her arms out to take Lu from her mama, "Go get ready, I'll make coffee."

* * *

Jane returned shortly, finding her wife and daughter in the kitchen. She smiled a goofy grin as she watched Maura move around the island, quietly humming as she rocked Luna in her arms.

"Hi," Jane said, startling Maura who quickly turned around to face her. A light shade of pink colored her cheeks at being caught; her voice wasn't her strong suit.

"Coffee?" Maura deflected as she slid the to-go mug across the counter. Dark roast with too much cream and too much sugar, just the way Jane liked.

"Thanks," Jane said as she gratefully took a sip, "You know, you didn't need to wake up just to make me coffee. I would've put Lu back in her sleeper."

"I know," Maura replied, "But I didn't want you to leave without saying goodbye."

"I would've-"

"No, you wouldn't have. You would have put Lu back in the sleeper, kissed my forehead and quietly whispered goodbye."

"I...yeah. You're right."

"Of course I am," Maura teased and Jane walked around the island to loop her arms around Maura's waist, trapping her and Luna in an embrace.

"We're going to miss you today," Maura said, doing her best to hide the sadness in her voice, "But I know how excited you are to go back."

"I'm really going to miss you, too," Jane replied with the same amount of sadness, "It's going to be weird not seeing you all day… I mean… ugh, shouldn't we be sick of each other by now?" Jane laughed.

"Probably," Maura answered softly as she shifted her hold on Luna, allowing her head to rest against her chest.

"I love you."

Maura smiled.

"I love you, too, but you really should get going. You don't want to be late your first day back."

"I know, I know," Jane said before leaning down to kiss the top of Luna's head. She pulled them both in for a hug and whispered in Maura's ear, "You're going to do great today."

Maura reached up to cup Jane's cheek, "Be safe, Jane."

"Always," Jane replied before kissing Maura's lips and heading out the door.

* * *

Sometime after noon, Maura had finally gotten Luna to go down for a nap and had just sat down on the couch to take a nap of her own when the doorbell rang.

A hint of panic raced through Maura as she headed towards the door, nervous as to who might be on the other side. That fear was quickly replaced with relief and a little confusion as she looked through the peep hole.

"Mom?" She questioned as she opened the door, "What are you doing here?"

"Hello, darling," Constance replied, "I hope I'm not intruding, I just… well, last night at dinner Jane mentioned that she was going back to work today and that you'd be alone… she was worried about you and I offered to stop by… to keep you company or to help." Constance fidgeted with the bag in her hands; an uncharacteristic move. "I also brought lunch," she said, holding up the cafe bag, "Have you eaten?

Maura continued to stare, taking in the information.

"Or I could just go. I'm sorry, darling, I should've called first. I-"

"Wait!" Maura responded louder than intended. "I'm sorry, that was very rude of me. I was just surprised to see you, that's all. Please, come in," she said as she moved away from the door, gesturing for her mother to cross the threshold, "I would love the company."

"Your timing is perfect," Maura said as she followed behind her mother toward the kitchen, "I just put Luna down for a nap. Would you like to eat out on the patio?"

"That would be lovely, dear," Constance replied.

"Great." Maura smiled, "I'm just going to grab the baby monitor and I'll meet you out there. Please help yourself to a beverage."

* * *

Time passed quickly as mother and daughter enjoyed their meals as well as each other's company. This new budding relationship between them was cherished by both. Before long, they were interrupted by a noise on the monitor and Maura politely excused herself to check on Luna.

Constance couldn't help but grin as she listened to her daughter over the monitor.

"Well hello, sweetheart," Maura cooed in a voice reserved only for her daughter. "Are you ready to get up, little one? Hungry again, I bet," she said with a laugh. The gentle cry of Luna continued on for just a moment longer until Maura picked her up and cradled her in her arms. "There we go, love. You're alright."

Constance heard the sound of a kiss through the speaker before Maura's voice continued, "Guess who's here to see you?" Another pause as Luna's gurgled. "Grandma Isles," she cooed, "Come on, let's go say hi. She'll be so happy to see you."

Moments later, Maura returned to the patio with Lu in her arms.

"Sorry about that," Maura apologized as she sat down, "Do you mind if I feed her?"

"Of course not, dear. Go right ahead," Constance replied, looking off to the side for a moment to allow her daughter some privacy to get settled.

Once Luna had latched, Maura directed a goofy smile at her daughter before looking up to catch her mother staring at her in awe.

"Mom?"

Constance quickly looked up, "I'm sorry, what?"

"I asked if you're alright?"

"Oh, yes of course. I'm sorry for staring, it's just…" she paused, looking off into the distance before returning her attention to Maura, "I'm so proud of you. Watching you… I'm in awe, darling. You're such a natural. It's rather breathtaking to watch," Constance said with a loving smile.

Maura blushed at the compliment and was too overwhelmed with emotion to comment just yet. Luckily her mother continued,

"I'll admit, when you first told us you were pregnant, I was worried. And I know I've told you this before, but then after Luna arrived and you had that particularly rough week I… I was worried. I thought maybe you hadn't been shown enough affection or had a good enough example on what to do - illogical of me to think, I know. But now, I'm just so happy… happy to see you like this; to see you succeeding. You're a wonderful mother, Maura. Already much better that I was," she finished sadly.

"Mom," Maura began, wiping a tear from her cheek, "Stop it. Stop," she said as she reached out to squeeze her mother's hand, "We can't keep doing this. We can't keep having this conversation every time we see each other. You were the best mother you knew how to be, ok? And look, I turned out just fine… a little weird, sure, but I'm alright."

They both laughed.

"I love you, mom and I'm so happy that you are in my life and in Luna's life now. Now please, can we move this conversation to a happier note?"

Constance laughed and wiped her cheeks, "You're right, you're right. I'm sorry. I love you, too. Now, a happier note… how about that nephew of yours? Your father and I nearly fell off our chairs from laughing last night at his little announcement about you and Luna."

Maura covered her face with her free hand; embarrassed, but grinning widely.

"That boy," Maura managed to get out through a laugh of her own, "is quite the little ham. I have so much love for T.J."

"Speaking of love, you and Barold looked awfully close last night."

"Mother!"

"No- Maura, no that came out wrong. That's not what I mean. I just meant that you two seem very close and it's… refreshing to see you with people who so clearly love you."

"I…" Maura paused, momentarily at a loss for words. "Yes, I suppose I do love him; over the years Barry and I have become quite close. I am very grateful for the kindness and warmth he brings to my life."

Constance smiled as her daughter continued.

"You know," she said with a small laugh, "I used to feel so bad for him back when Jane and I were still dating. Whenever we had a fight, we both went to him and he always ended up in the middle of things, but I think he always ended up on my side. I think he realized that Jane had her brother's and I had… well, I had Jane and when we fought, I had no one to turn to… until him."

Distracted, Maura removed Luna from her breast and adjusted her shirt, "Would you like to burp her?"

"I..." Constance hesitated, "Sure."

After adjusting her hold on her granddaughter, Constance asked, "For a while I thought maybe you and Jane would use him as the sperm donor."

Maura laughed, "Well, we actually thought about it. But eventually decided it would be too complicated. Barry is such a daily part of our lives that we felt it would've been… confusing. He has such a kind heart and would make such a wonderful father. We didn't want to put him in that position of not fully getting to play that part. It's not that we didn't want him to play a fatherly role in our child's life… it just, I think it would've been difficult for him. If that makes sense?"

"I think I understand."

Moments passed in silence as Constance continued to pat her granddaughter's back before switching her hold to rock her in her arms. Maura enjoyed the view.

"So," Constance began, "Are you ever planning on telling us who the donor is?"

Maura sighed heavily, "Angela keeps hounding us with that question as well."

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry. I'm just curious, that's all. I completely understand if you don't want to tell me."

"No, I know. I think everyone is a little curious and rightfully so. It's just, with Angela, as much as I love her, she just can't can't keep anything to herself."

Constance smiled, "It's alright, dear, really."

They sat in silence before Maura spoke a few minutes later.

"Ian."

"Pardon?"

"Ian. Ian is the donor," Maura said without looking at her mother.

"Really?" Constance asked with her eyebrows raised. Surprised more so at the fact that Maura had told her, more than the confession of _who_ the donor is.

"Yes, I know, it does seem a bit odd."

"No, he doesn't seem like too outrageous of a choice. I mean, you loved him."

"I did. I mean, I still do, in a different way. I think initially that's why Jane was hesitant to the idea when I first brought it up. Of course she was, he's my ex."

Constance nodded, encouraging her daughter to continue if she wanted.

"I just... I wanted to know. It was really important to me to know the person helping to create our daughter. Not only for health reasons, but if Lu is ever curious, if she ever has questions, I want to be able to provide those answers. I didn't want anything to be hidden from her like it was from me; not that it matters, not when she has both Jane and I, but just in case. Once I explained that to Jane, she slowly came around to the idea."

There was a wave of silence as Maura paused, contemplating what she was about to say.

"I'm not sure I ever told you this, the last time Ian came to visit?" She asked, looking toward her mother.

Constance shook her head.

"It was a few years back, before Jane and I finally started dating," she laughed at how oblivious they both were, "As usual he had stopped by unannounced, which really didn't bother me as much as it probably should have, but it worked for us. He would show up periodically and we'd laugh and reminisce, cook together, be intimate- sorry," she said as she noticed her mothers face, "But it's the truth, we used each other. And for a while, it was enough. It felt good."

Maura paused to take a sip of water.

"Anyway, the last night of his visit, when he told me he had to leave suddenly, we ended up having this major heart to heart. Honestly, I don't even know how it started, I think I was upset, irrationally upset that he was leaving me again... The details of it are a bit hazy now, but somehow he knew."

"Knew what, darling?"

"That I was in love with Jane."

"What? Maura you're going to need to explain this one."

Maura laughed, "As he was packing up his things in my room, I kept going on about why he was leaving, asking why can't he stay, why can't he just stay and be with me and love me," she paused, "I'll admit, I became a bit desperate, which was very out of character for me, but I just wanted him to stay. I wanted someone to be with me. To love me. So the last thing I yelled at him was something like, 'please stay, I love you.' And he turned to me and said, 'I know you do, Maura, and I love you too. But it's not the same. It's not the same kind of love you have for Jane.'"

"And I laughed; this almost hysterical, teary laugh because he was right. He was so right. What Ian and I had was nothing like what I have with Jane, it wasn't even close to what I had with her back then when her and I were just friends."

Her mother watched on and listened closely, enjoying the moment of honesty her daughter was sharing with her.

"Ian and I... It was never a great love. We became such great friends during our time in Africa and we bonded over our experiences, but romantic love was never in the picture, not really. We shared too many long hours and horrific scenes, and perhaps a few too many bottles of cheap wine, which had led to sloppy make outs and quick, desperate attempts at release. And it worked for us, it was fun and passionate... An adventure, but somewhere along the way it got confusing, for me in particular I think. I wanted more. I wanted to believe that someone could want me like that, need me. Love me. And I know he did," she quickly rushed at the end, "but like he said, it wasn't the same. It was a different type of love."

"So you told all of this to Jane? When you were making decisions about donors?"

Maura nodded, "But that's not the part that sold her," she continued, "Later that night after Ian and I had an in-depth conversation about where we stood, our conversation had shifted to Jane and how obvious it was that I loved her, Jane showed up at my doorstep. And of course I was a mess. I was emotional and crying and she mistook the tears and the anguish to be about Ian's departure. When I had asked her, 'how can you love someone and not be able to be with them,' she assumed I was talking about Ian. But I wasn't. I was talking about her."

"Oh, Maura."

Maura wiped at the corner of her eye, "I didn't tell her that story until a year ago when we decided to try for a baby. After that revelation, she understood. She was ok with him as a donor, if he agreed."

"And he obviously agreed."

"Yes," Maura said with a breathy laugh, "He did. I had wrote him a letter actually, detailing all that had happened since he left and mentioning our thoughts on a baby and he sent me back a note that said _Finally! Of course I'll help you, just tell me when and where. I'm so happy for you, Maura._ And that was that."

"Wow, Maura, what a story."

Maura smiled, "I think that's partly why I don't want to tell anyone, it's a long story, there's a history behind it and I just don't feel like going through that with everyone. And honestly, what does it matter? She's not his daughter. Luna is my daughter and Jane's daughter. She's _ours_."

"Just like you're mine," Constance smiled, "I think you and Jane made a very smart decision. Clearly," she said as she looked down at the baby in her arms, "Look what it got you."

* * *

Later that night, after returning home from work, Jane and Maura had snuggled up on the couch together. Finally getting a moment to talk about their days.

After Maura told Jane about the day spent with her mother, she asked how Jane's first day back went.

"It was fine," Jane shrugged. "Too much paperwork and not enough baby snuggles and mommy kisses."

"Did you hear just what came out of your mouth Detective Rizzoli?" Maura teased, "It's probably for the best that you've gone back to work. You're so mushy!"

"Hey! Oh my god… you're right."

"I always am," Maura smirked before returned to a serious tone, "But we missed you, too."


	7. Chapter 7

It didn't take long for the slow days of paperwork to turn into a week from hell. Midweek into Jane's return to BPD, the team caught a double homicide; it was nothing more gruesome than anything Jane had seen before, but ever since the birth of her daughter, she saw things differently. Felt emotions more fully. She had expected this, to feel like a different person after her daughter was born, but she did not expect the changes to affect her work.

Jane struggled with the fact that here she was, looking down at two bloodied and battered corpses while her innocent baby girl was at home, snuggled up with her mommy, completely oblivious to the horrors of the world. As she should be, but the same thought kept creeping it's way to the forefront of Jane's mind as she worked: _How do I protect her? How do I shield her from the evil in this world?_

True to Jane's character, she kept those thoughts to herself; let her emotions, fears and frustrations bottle up inside her and instead focused all of her energy into the case. She worked until she burnt herself out and Cavenaugh had forced her to take a break and go home.

Jane got home shortly after midnight and while she knew she should just take a shower and go to sleep; rest up for the next day of work, she found herself feeling too riled up and frustrated. So, instead of joining Maura in bed, she headed straight to the one room in the house, aside from the bedroom, where she could relieve her stress.

xxxx

Maura heard the garage door open and was relieved that her wife was finally home. Frost had been filling her in throughout the week, explaining to her that this particular case was hitting Jane hard, for a reason he did not disclose. Maura was grateful to Barry for keeping her in the loop, otherwise she'd have no idea what was causing Jane's moods and distance from her.

When fifteen minutes had passed and Jane hadn't even come in to hold Luna or kiss Maura's cheek, Maura slipped out of bed, wrapped herself up in a robe and headed down the hall in search of the detective.

She found her in the yoga, turned yoga-boxing room, aggressively pounding her fists into the red Everlast punching bag that hung from the ceiling in the corner of the room.

Knowing better than to come up behind her, Maura paused in the entryway and softly called, "Jane?"

A loud smack filled the room as Jane turned to glance at Maura before returning her attention to the bag in front of her. _Jab, jab, hook._

Maura took a step into the room, "Jane," she said again.

Jane sighed, "Maura, I _really_ don't want to talk right now."

"Ok," Maura said, trying not to sound too dejected, "We don't have to talk. Do you mind if I just sit here?" She asked, making her way over to the cushioned bench under the windowsill.

"Whatever," Jane mumbled as she continued to pound her fists.

Maura knew Jane was just frustrated, but it was hard to be on the receiving end of her displaced aggression.

"I wish you wouldn't do that," Maura said quietly, "I understand you're upset and this is your way of dealing with things that are hard for you, but I wish you wouldn't take it out on me."

Jane punched her fist hard against the bag, the noise echoing throughout the room, "Goddammit, Maura, this is _exactly_ why I don't want to talk to you right now! Jesus."

So they stopped talking.

Jane continued to beat the heavybag in front of her and Maura sat in silence, doing her best not to cry. She instead focused her attention on the detective's back, watching her muscles twist with each punch and the sweat that dripped slowly down her neck and disappeared beneath her sports bra.

Time passed, both of them lost in their own thoughts when Maura noticed a change in Jane's demeanor. Noticed her shoulders slump forward, her forehead and still-clenched fists resting against the bag.

"I'm sorry," Jane managed to get out, "I'm sorry, I just…I can't…"

Her shoulders began to shake and Maura was on her feet.

"I just wanna protect her," she choked, "I...I want to protect her."

"Oh, Jane," Maura whispered as she came up behind her wife, resting a comforting hand on Jane's damp back.

The gentle touch caused Jane to lose it completely. She turned away from the bag and fell into Maura's arms, sobbing into her neck.

"Shh," Maura cooed, almost as if she were comforting her own daughter, "It's alright, sweetheart," she said as one hand found it's way to Jane's curls while the other helped keep her upright.

"I'm sorry," Jane repeated again and again against Maura's skin.

"Shh," Maura said before placing a kiss on top of Jane's head, "Come on," Maura whispered as she directed Jane down the hall towards their room, never breaking their embrace.

Maura ushered Jane into the bathroom and sat her down on the edge of the tub before stepping into the shower to turn on the spray.

She walked back over to her wife and stood directly in front of her, between her legs. It was the first time since the case began that they'd spent more than twenty minutes together, aside from sleeping. Maura reached down and cupped Jane's face with her hands, guiding Jane to look at her. She noticed the dark circles under her eyes and creases on her forehead, the added puffiness from crying.

Maura gently caressed Jane's face; slowly rubbing her thumbs to wipe away tears and trace every line with her fingertips.

She took another moment to cherish the closeness and her wife's vulnerability before helping Jane out of her sports bra and pants.

"Do you want me to stay?" Maura asked as Jane stepped in the shower.

"I… no, it's ok."

"Are you sure?"

Jane nodded.

"Alright. Take your time. I'll be in bed when you're ready," she said as she turned and headed to exit the room.

"Thank you," Jane called out.

Maura turned and smiled before leaving Jane alone to rinse off.

xxxx

After a quick shower and a moment to compose herself, Jane slipped into sweatpants and a t-shirt before joining Maura in bed.

Once under the covers, Maura turned to hit the lights and snuggled up next to Jane.

"Will you let me hold you?" she asked.

Jane answered by turning her back to Maura, allowing her wife to press up behind her and wrap an arm around her middle. Jane laced her fingers with Maura's and brought their joined hands to rest over her chest. Maura kissed her neck.

Jane enjoyed a moment of comfort before speaking, "I'm sorry."

Maura tightened her hold, "It's ok, sweetheart. I just wish you'd talk to me or let me be there for you. I know it can be hard for you, but I'm here, Jane. I'm not the enemy."

"I know."

For a while they just lay there and Jane thought Maura had fell asleep until she heard her soft voice, "Barry told me about the case."

Maura felt Jane's body tense.

"Murder suicide?"

Jane nodded. "Husband and wife," she paused, "They had a daughter."

Ah, Maura thought. This was the part Barry had left out.

"Two and a half," Jane whispered, "Two and half and her father killed her mother before offing himself."

Maura felt Jane's body tremble against her own.

"It's not fair, Maur," Jane sniffled, "That little girl… robbed of the two most important people in her life…the two people who were supposed to protect her. I just... it's not fair."

"No," Maura whispered against Jane's neck as she snuggled closer, "It's not."

xxxx

In the morning, Maura felt Jane tense when she awoke to see three red numbers flashing 9:37 AM.

"It's ok," she said as she rubbed her fingers through Jane's hair, "I called Sean. He doesn't want you to come in until this afternoon."

"But," Jane mumbled.

"But nothing, Jane. That's an order. You need to remember to take time for yourself."

Jane rolled onto her back to look up at Maura who was sitting up against the headboard with Luna in her arms.

Maura continued to massage Jane's scalp with her free hand.

"I love you," Jane said as she reached out her right hand to rest her on Maura's bare thigh before closing her eyes; enjoying the feel of Maura's skin beneath her fingertips and the feel of Maura's hand gently caressing her head.

"I love you, too."

They continued on for a few minutes longer in their silent ritual of touch and comfort.

"Come up here," Maura said after a while, "I want to show you something."

Jane rolled on her side before sitting up and snuggling in next to Maura. She looked down at Luna.

"I wanted to show you last night, but she was already asleep when you got home."

Jane looked at Maura, confused.

"Here," she said, passing their daughter over to Jane.

Once settled, Maura said, "Now rub her belly and say hello, or say anything really, but use that voice you only use for her."

Jane narrowed her eyes and Maura before cracking a smile and turning her attention to Luna. As instructed, she tickled her fingers against Lu's tummy and softly cooed, "Hey, peanut."

And there it was.

A wide, absolutely adorable, little baby smile. A real smile.

"Oh my god," Jane said, tears instantly forming in the corners of her eyes, "Lulu, look at you."

"Isn't it wonderful?" Maura asked as she looked down at their daughter, smiling just as big as both Jane and Luna.

Jane responded by nodding her head and laughing, not wanting to look away from this precious little baby who was smiling up at her. Smiling up at her mamas.

"You can't protect her from everything, sweetheart, but you can be here for her. You can make her smile, you teach her… you can love her."

More tears continued to roll down Jane's cheeks.

"That's enough, Jane. _You_ are more than enough."

xxxx

By the end of her second week back at work, the murder-suicide case closed, Jane was ready to hit the couch and snuggle up with her favorite girls the minute she walked through the front door.

Instead, the first thing she did was laugh.

There, in the middle of the living room was her daughter lying on her back on a blanket, looking up at the colorful shapes that hung from her activity gym. She was still too little to engage much, but she squirmed around excitedly and her eyes were wide as she looked at the different objects. Next to her was Maura, laying flat on her stomach, left arm spread out with her finger being tugged on by Lu. She was fast asleep.

Looks like being a full-time mama was just as exhausting as catching bad guys. Jane quietly made her way into the room and got down on her hands and knees to say hello to Lu and give her a kiss.

"Did mommy fall asleep on you?" she whispered, "Silly mommy."

Jane was rewarded with the newly famous Luna-smile and she melted for the 100th time that week. She would never tire of seeing the adorable little grin.

After another minute or two of making her daughter smile, Jane crawled over until she was hovering on all fours above her wife, who was still sound asleep with Luna's tiny hand gripped around her index finger. Jane slowly leaned down and kissed the back of Maura's neck, below her ear and the side of her face until Maura started to wake up.

For a sleepy moment, she was confused to find herself on the floor and even more confused when she rolled over onto her back to see Jane above her.

Jane lowered herself so she was straddling Maura's hips, "Rough day?" She asked with a grin.

"You're home early," Maura replied with tired voice.

"It was a long week, I had to get out of there," she said, grabbing Maura's hands and bringing them to her mouth; she kissed each palm.

Maura simply smiled at the affection.

"I just checked our calendar," Jane said as she continued to kiss each knuckle.

"Oh?" Maura replied.

"Mhmm."

"Do we have something going on tonight?" Maura asked.

"Nope. Tomorrow morning," she said with a hint of amusement as Maura's face wrinkled in confusion.

Jane laced their hands together before pinning them above Maura's head and gently lowered herself, "Someone's got their six-week postpartum checkup," she said with a wink, "And you know what that means…"

Before Maura could laugh or poke fun at her horndog of a wife, her lips became occupied by Jane's. Sweet and gentle turned warm and wet as the two explored each other's mouths with their tongues. Maura released a moan and Jane's hips jerked forward.

Reluctantly, Jane pulled back and rested her forehead against Maura's, breathing heavily.

"Well now I'm looking forward to it," Maura whispered with a laugh.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a song in this. I highly recommend listening to "For Two" by Kat Edmonson. It's available on Spotify.

Jane sat in the waiting room and alternated between making silly faces at her daughter and anxiously bouncing her knee. The six week mark had arrived and today could be the end of the, what was it now, two and half month dry spell? Ok, it wasn't _all_ dry, she'd relieved herself a few times and more recently in front of her wife, but it wasn't the same. It wasn't the same as feeling Maura against her, beneath her, inside her, around her. She missed the sounds that escaped her wife's lips, the way her body moved and reacted to even the lightest of touches. She wanted that intimacy back. Not to say it didn't exist currently, it just wasn't the same. As much as she wanted it back, part of her felt guilty to assume that Maura would be ready just because the doctor's gave her the go ahead.

Thankfully, Jane was rescued from her thoughts when Maura emerged from the exam room. Jane stood up, greeted her with a smile and wrapped her hands around Maura's waist.

"So?" Jane said as she squeezed her wife's hips. "How'd it go?"

Maura smiled at her wife before placing a chaste kiss on her lips.

"All cleared for active duty, detective."

xxxx

Later that day, Jane found her girls in their yoga/boxing room. She couldn't help but smile at the sight: Lu had her back to the mat and was looking up (and smiling) at her mommy who was in a downward facing dog pose above her. Maura leaned in and gave her daughter kisses all over her tummy and cheeks.

Jane could practically feel her heart melting. She made her way into the room and laid down on the mat next to them, happy to watch as Maura continued with a few more kisses before she moved into child's pose while her hands tickled Lu's feet. Maura tilted her head to the side in a silent greeting to her wife before she repeated the set of poses. Jane closed her eyes and smiled, content with listening to sounds of her baby gurgling and the smooching noise Maura made with each kiss.

When she opened her eyes again, Maura was hovering above her, mimicking the actions she had just completed with her daughter. Maura kissed her sweetly before she lowered herself on top of Jane, straddling her hips.

"What brings you here?" She asked as she reached over to grab Lu and laid her down on Jane's chest. "Are you here to do yoga with us or did you just want some downward doggie kisses?" She asked in a voice reserved only for her baby.

"Both?"

"Yeah right."

Jane laughed and brought her hands up to rest on Lu's tummy, tickling her. Lu grinned up at Maura.

"Is mama making you smile?" Maura cooed and leaned in to rub her nose against Lu's. She moved her hands to poke at Jane's sides, which caused her to squirm.

"Alright, alright, you got me!" Jane said through her laughter. "I didn't come in here for either of those things, but the doggie kisses were a nice surprise."

Maura stopped her actions and kissed Jane's cheek before sitting up again.

"I came in here to ask if you'd like to go out tonight. Just the two of us," Jane said and noticed Maura's mouth open. Jane continued after she sensed the question Maura was about to ask, "I already asked my Ma and she's more than happy to have some gramma time. I just thought maybe it would be nice to get out of the house and have some time together. It's been a while. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love every moment of _this_ ," she said, gesturing to the three of them, "but I kinda miss you," she said with a blush.

Maura smiled down at her, _what a softie_. "I kinda miss you, too. I would love that, Jane."

"Yeah?"

"Yes. A date night sounds wonderful. What did you have in mind? Nothing too fancy I hope? I don't know if I have the energy to get all dolled up."

"Maura. Have you met me?"

"True," she said with a laugh.

"Nothing fancy, maybe a step up from casual, but that's all I'm gonna tell you."

"Why am I not surprised?" Maura said. "How much time do I have?"

Jane looked down at her watch. "About two and a half hours."

"What?!"

"Oh come on, Maur. That's plenty of time!"

"Maybe pre-baby it was, but now, not only do I need to get myself ready, I need to feed Lu, pump, make sure Angela has everything she—"

"Relax. This night is not supposed to be stressful, ok? It'll be fine," she replied and slowly sat up as Maura moved to get off of her. "You go shower, I'll put Lu down for a quick nap and get a bag ready for my mom, alright? And besides, you know she lives behind us? She can come in here if she needs anything."

"You're right, you're right," Maura said. "Thank you."

"Of course. Now go," Jane replied and grabbed Lu as Maura stood to make her way to their bedroom.

xxxx

An hour and half later, after showering and applying her makeup, Maura rested against the headboard, her robe opened just enough for Luna to latch onto one breast while she tried to figure out the best way to pump from the other.

"Jane?" She called.

"Yeah?" Jane yelled back from the bathroom.

"Can you… do you think maybe you could help me?"

Jane emerged from the bathroom in dark jeans and dark t-shirt.

"Of course," she said and plopped down in front of Maura on the bed. "What can I do?"

Maura looked down at the manual breast pump in her hand before looking up at Jane. "Pump me?"

"Thank god you are holding that thing, otherwise I would've gotten the wrong impression," Jane replied with a smirk.

"Ha. Ha. Ha."

"Give it to me," she said as Maura handed her the object. "What do I do?"

"Just put your thumb here," Maura instructed, "and squeeze." Jane tested it out a couple of times. "You can go faster than that if you'd like. It doesn't hurt."

"I hope no one's listening in on the baby monitor," Jane said with a laugh, "this sounds like a bad porno or something." She adjusted her voice to go as high it would (which wasn't very) and said, "Pump me, baby. Faster! Just put your thumb right there and..."

They bursted into laughter and continued until they were both crying. By the time they were able to compose themselves, Luna was asleep and a full bottle of milk was procured.

xxxx

At seven on the dot, Angela arrived to pick up her grandbaby, eager to shower her with kisses. Even though they lived a foot away from each other, Angela insisted on setting up a room in the guest house just for Luna, complete with every little thing she might need. Totally unnecessary, but once Angela Rizzoli had her mind set on something, it was almost impossible to talk her out of it.

"There's pumped milk in the fridge and a bottle or two in the freezer as well. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call us, ok?"

"Maura, honey, I've had three babies of my own. I think I can handle it, sweetheart," Angela reassured her.

"Hey ma, give her some slack alright?" Jane said as she entered the kitchen. "It's our first time leaving her with someone aside from each other, we can be a little a nervous. Even if it is you."

"I promise. I'll call you if I need anything, but it's not likely, alright? Now go! Enjoy yourselves!" She said over her shoulder as she made her way to the back door.

"Wait!" Maura yelled and Angela turned around with Lu in her arms. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell. I just… let me say goodbye?"

Angela sighed, but couldn't help but smile. "Of course," she said as she handed her granddaughter over.

"Goodbye, sweetheart," she said in a soft voice, "I love you so much." Maura kissed the top of her head before handing her back to Angela.

"Aw, Maur. Don't," Jane said when she noticed Maura get all teary-eyed.

"I know, I know! I can't help it," Maura replied as she dabbed her eyes.

Jane smiled and walked over to kiss Luna's cheek. "Bye peanut."

"We should be back by 11," she said to her mom.

"Oh don't be silly," Angela replied. "I'll keep her overnight. You two enjoy a night of sleep."

"What? Oh no, Angela, we couldn't possibly—"

"Please, dear. I insist."

"But—"

"No buts."

Jane and Maura exchanged looks.

"At least let me feed her when we get back?"

"Deal."

xxxx

"You look sexy," Maura said playfully as they both got out of the car. She had just noticed Jane's outfit choice: dark jeans, black boots and a leather jacket. _So_ sexy.

"Why thank you," Jane replied. "As do you," she said, taking in the sight next her. Maura was wearing a simple black v-neck dress with quarter length sleeves, matching flats and a decorative scarf. Jane couldn't believe this woman had given birth just six weeks ago.

"Thank you," Maura said as she reached out to hold Jane's hand. "Will you tell me where we're going now?"

"Nope."

They continued walking down the street and turned a corner before Jane stopped in front of their destination.

Maura gasped when she realized where they were. She turned to her wife and squeezed her hand excitedly. "We haven't been here in years."

"I know," Jane replied with a smile, "That's why I thought it would be the perfect spot."

They made their way through the entrance and walked down a flight of stairs until they reached the restaurant. It was a little hole-in-the-wall basement venue with amazing food and, on the weekends, turned into a little jazz lounge with local artists. The lighting was dim and the atmosphere was energetic. The couple used to go there quite a bit when they were still dating, partly because they wouldn't run into anyone they knew, but mostly because it was so much fun.

The two were seated at a small, rounded booth with a perfect view of the stage where the next group was setting up to perform.

Maura snuggled up next to Jane's side and whispered, "This is perfect, Jane. Thank you."

Jane smiled and kissed the top of Maura's head. "You're welcome. I'm glad you like it."

xxxx

A few hours had passed, appetizers, entrees and desserts devoured. The two were cozied up in their booth as they watched the the band play.

"This is really nice," Jane said and squeezed Maura's hand.

Maura moved her head from where it had been resting on Jane's shoulder and looked up at her wife. She kissed her before saying, "It is. I didn't realize how much I missed just _being_ with you. Like you said earlier, it's wonderful when we're having mommy and baby time, but it's not the…" her voice trailed off as the beginning notes of the next song started to play.

"Is that…" she trailed off again as she looked toward the band.

"What?"

"Shh."

Jane also turned to look at the band and listen to lyrics.

_And as they talked the hours away  
_ _They knew. They knew._

It was their song. The first song they danced to as a married couple.

"Did you plan this?" Maura asked as she turned her attention back to Jane.

_And as the night became the day  
_ _They knew. They knew._

"I wish I did," Jane replied with a smile.

"Dance with me?" Maura asked as she gently tugged on Jane's arm. If it were any other song, Jane would've put up a fight, but with the look on Maura's face and the song pulling her back to their wedding night, she couldn't resist. She let Maura lead the way to the small dance floor.

They were the only couple dancing and neither of them cared.

_That nothing would be the same_  
_And nothing would ever change_  
_And everything they'd ever do  
_ _Now one would be for two_

Maura draped her arms around Jane's shoulders and rested her head against her chest. Jane hugged her close around the waist and closed her eyes, letting her mind fill with memories of their wedding.

_They said the words the day they wed_  
_I do and I do_  
_And understood the words they said were true  
_ _So true_

"I love you," Maura whispered, her voice shaky with emotion.

Jane pulled her closer (if that was even possible) and kissed her head. "I love you, too."

_That nothing would be the same_  
_And nothing would ever change_  
_And everything they'd ever do  
_ _Now one would be for two_

_And everything they'd ever do  
_ _Now one would be for two_

_Now one would be for two_

They continued dancing until the very last note echoed through the room. So caught up in their own little world, they didn't notice the clapping and cheering as they kissed.

Pulling back, Maura looked at Jane and said, "Take me home."

xxxx

They stumbled through their front entrance and Jane gently pushed Maura back against the door to trail kisses down her sensitive neck. Maura couldn't help but gasp at the sensation. It had been far too long.

Jane returned her attention to Maura's lips and slid in her tongue. They both moaned and Maura pulled her closer.

After a few minutes, Maura pulled away. "Wait, wait," she said out of breath.

"What is it?" Jane asked.

"I need to feed Lu."

Jane let out a frustrated noise before she nodded and said, "Yeah, yeah. You're right," and reluctantly let go of her wife.

"But we're not done here!" She yelled as Maura walked to the back door.

Maura shot a glance over her shoulder. "Twenty minutes. Bedroom," she replied with a smirk and headed out the door.

Jane was giddy with anticipation. She ran up the stairs two at a time.

xxxx

After feeding her daughter and reminding Angela that there was extra pumped milk in the freezer, Maura returned to the main house and discarded her scarf on one of the hooks near the door. She quietly made her way up the staircase, feeling both excited and nervous about the night ahead of her.

When she reached the bedroom, Jane had removed her jacket, jeans and boots and was sitting back against the headboard in nothing but a t-shirt and underwear. She smiled when Maura walked in.

The bed was freshly made and the lights were off, except for the two on the nightstands. These two didn't require any mood setting.

Maura made her way over to bed and hopped on top of Jane, straddling her waist. Jane leaned back against the headboard and looked at Maura, gripping her hips.

"Now where were we?" Maura asked in a low voice as she leaned forward and resumed their kissing.

They continued on for a while, slowly getting reacquainted with one another. Getting used to the sensation of their tongues touching, teeth biting, hands roaming. Jane moaned as one of Maura's hands gently tangled in her hair, the other slipped under her t-shirt and caressed the warm skin of her abdomen.

Jane's hands had both slid up Maura's thighs and found themselves on her ass. She squeezed roughly and Maura let out a gasp. Jane took the opportunity to latch her mouth onto Maura's neck and sucked on that specific spot that drove her wife crazy. She squeezed harder when Maura made a noise, something between a whimper and a moan. Damn had she missed that sound.

Her mouth traveled lower until it reached Maura's collarbone. She bit down gently and Maura rolled her hips. Jane removed one hand from beneath Maura's dress and brought it around to her back. Her fingers quickly found the zipper and she pulled it down slowly.

Before she could slide it off her wife's shoulders, Maura stopped her.

"Wait," she said as she tried to control her breathing, "maybe we should turn off of the lights? And get under the covers?" Her voice was shaky.

Jane stilled her hands and dropped them down to Maura's waist. She rested her head back against the headboard and studied Maura's face. They never turned the lights off.

After a while, she reached up and gently tucked Maura's hair behind her ears before grabbing Maura's hands, giving them a comforting squeeze.

"Hey," she said in a soft voice, "what's wrong?"

"I…" Maura bites her lip and looks down at their hands. "I'm nervous," she admits in a soft voice. "I mean, I'm ready. I want this to happen, but…" she paused to sort out her thoughts, "things are… different. My body doesn't look the same as before. I've only just started up again with yoga and—" she stopped when Jane kissed her hand.

"Honey," Jane said in a voice she only used for Maura, "You're beautiful." The words left her mouth like they were the truest and easiest thing she'd ever said.

Maura's head quickly tilted up to look at her. Something between disbelief and gratitude on her face.

"You're so beautiful," Jane repeated, "and you just had a baby. _Our_ baby." She paused to smile at Maura and to place her hands on her stomach. "Your body made a baby, Maur, and that's beautiful."

"Jane," Maura whispered, her voice full of emotion.

"Maura I love you, stretch marks and all. Let me see you, please? Let me remind you how incredibly beautiful I think you are, ok?" She asked as she rested her hands on Maura's cheeks.

"Please?" She asked again.

Maura smiled and nodded her head before she leaned in to kiss her wife. "I love you so much, Jane."

"I know," Jane said between kisses, "I love you, too."

They kissed for a few minutes longer before Jane's hands settled on Maura's thighs. She looked to Maura once again for approval before she slowly pulled the dress up and over her wife's head. Maura nervously watched Jane's eyes as they roamed over her body. Even after Jane's heartfelt words, she couldn't fight the hint of nerves that still lingered.

Jane's hands gently trailed up her back and paused at her bra.

"Do you want to leave this on?" She asked, knowing how tender and sore they could be.

And in that moment, the fear that Jane would judge her, or somehow feel disappointed, disappeared. This woman was the love of her life. How could she be so silly to think that Jane would ever look at her with anything but love and respect? She couldn't help the tears that trickled down her cheeks at the thoughtfulness.

She nodded.

"Ok," Jane said with an understanding smile and gently repositioned them until Maura was lying flat on her back with Jane straddling her waist.

Jane lifted her own shirt up and over her head before she looked down at her wife. She rubbed her thumbs over Maura's tear stained cheeks.

"Are you alright?" She asked.

Maura nodded. "I just love you so much and I feel very lucky to have you."

"Me too," Jane replied simply and honestly before she leaned in for a kiss.

The rest of her movements were slow and sweet and gentle. She took her time as she kissed her favorite freckles, watched goose bumps form on Maura's chest when she nipped at her collarbone, listened to the breathy sighs of pleasure that escaped Maura's lips when her tongue trailed along the expanse of her neck. She smiled into another kiss before she slowly moved down her wife's body.

She shifted herself down the bed and settled between Maura's legs. Jane placed her right elbow next to Maura's hip and rested her head against her palm. Maura watched her curiously as Jane reached out with her left hand and to softly traced her fingertips over every stretch mark. Most of the them were light and blended with Maura's skin, some were different shades of pink and Jane could feel the small ridges beneath her fingers.

"So beautiful," she whispered before she kissed the area around Maura's bellybutton.

Maura, as hard she tried, couldn't keep her tears at bay. She let them roll down her cheeks as her wife continued on a sweet exploration of her body.

Several moments later, Jane crawled back up Maura's body and rested on top of her. She propped herself up on an elbow. They kissed and Jane slowly rolled her hips against Maura's thigh.

Jane's left hand traveled down Maura's torso and stopped just as her fingertips touched the fabric of her underwear. She paused and pulled away from their kiss when she felt Maura flinch against her touch.

"I'll be gentle, I promise," Jane whispered and kissed the corner of Maura's mouth.

Maura nodded and replied, "I trust you."

With that, Jane slipped her hand beneath the fabric. She was surprised at what she felt. Or rather, what she _didn't_ feel. She looked at Maura.

"What?"

"Nothing, it's just…"

Maura slipped her own hand beneath the cotton barrier and noticed the problem.

"Jane I'm sorry," she said softly. "It's not that I'm not aroused, it's just that breastfeeding and hormones can sometimes affect the body's...natural lubricant," she said, knowing the term would make Jane cringe. But it didn't.

"Shh. Maura, honey. It's okay," she said with a smile. "You don't need to apologize. We don't need to go that far tonight."

Maura was in awe (yet again) at her wife's understanding.

Jane kissed her cheek and moved her fingers to rest on Maura's bundle of nerves. "Is this ok?" She asked as her fingers started to gently move in a circular motion.

Maura gasped and nodded her head; her hands wrapped around Jane to hold her closer as they kissed.

Jane continued to work her fingers as her tongue slid against Maura's and her hips rocked forward. It only took a few more motions of her hand before Maura cried out in pleasure. Jane collapsed next to her and pulled Maura close.

It wasn't the most mind-blowing orgasm Maura had ever had, but it didn't matter. That wasn't what it was about. It was about being close again, letting Jane see her and touch her. It was about trust. It was about love.

Jane felt a tear drop roll down her chest as Maura sniffled against her.

"Thank you," Maura whispered, "for being so gentle and understanding."

"Of course, Maur. I love you."

"I love _you_."

xxxx

Eight hours later, Maura was the first to wake up. She wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry at the feeling of being well-rested for the first time in months. So instead, she did neither and opted for a better way to start her morning and utilize the energy she felt. She quietly slid beneath the covers, removed an article of clothing and peppered kisses along the inside of Jane's thighs.

"Mmmpf," Jane mumbled and, still half-asleep, shifted her legs to give Maura more room.

Maura took the opportunity to run her tongue along her center.

That got Jane up. She quickly pulled the blanket off of her and moaned at the sight of her wife between her legs.

Maura laughed against her, the vibrations causing Jane to thread a hand through Maura's hair.

"Fuck," she panted.

"Good morning," Maura replied smugly before continuing her actions.

" _Great_ morning," Jane sighed.


	9. Chapter 9

"There we go," Maura said in a sweet voice as she slipped the green hat over her daughter's head. She then tucked two tiny feet into matching green socks.

"All done sweetheart," she said with a kiss to Luna's cheek. "Oh you look so cute. Mama's going to be so happy to see you."

Luna smiled and wiggled about.

"Yes she is. Come on, let's go surprise her."

xxx

Half an hour later, Maura strolled into BPD headquarters, garnering the same attention she did while on the job as medical examiner. The only difference now had been the adorable baby in tow.

Maura said hello to a few officers before she made her way to the squad room. Jane was just about to ask what all the commotion was when she looked up from her desk and saw her wife and daughter making their way down the row of desks. Detectives turning their heads and trying to sneak a peek at the baby in the car seat.

"Hey," Jane said with a hint of surprise in her voice, "what are you two doing here?"

"Hello, detective," Maura replied with a grin and set Luna's car seat down next to Jane's desk. She dropped down to her knees to unbuckle her daughter and scoop her up in her arms.

"Luna wanted to show you her costume," Maura answered sweetly and passed Lu over to her mama. "Happy Halloween."

"Oh my god," Jane said with a huge grin on her face, "Lulu, look at you!"

"Look at her back," Maura said.

Jane gently turns her daughter around to look at the back of her costume.

Luna was wearing a dark green onesie with a hand-painted shell on the back and on her belly. The outfit was complete with light green pants, socks and a tiny hat to keep her head warm.

"My mom painted it," Maura explained. "All natural, non-toxic paint of course."

"It's great, Maur. Lu is the cutest little tortoise I've ever seen," Jane said and switched her attention back to her daughter, peppering her cheeks with kisses before resting her against her chest.

"Turtle," Maura clarifies with a smirk.

"Of course," Jane replied with a laugh. "The cutest _turtle_."

xxxx

Frost walked through the squadroom doors with two cups of hot coffee in his hands.

"Hey, doc!" he greeted Maura with a grin. "What are you doing here? I thought you didn't start back until next week."

He handed her the extra coffee, "This was for Jane, but I'm guessing you might need it more."

Maura gave an appreciative smile and took a sip.

"Thank you. And you are correct, I'll be returning Monday, but I had a few things I wanted to drop off."

"And to show off your adorable kid," Frost said and playfully nudged her shoulder.

Maura responded with a sheepish grin, "That too."

The two stood near the edge of Frost's desk, sipping coffee and watching Jane play with her daughter.

After a while, Jane walked over to them and looked at the cup in Maura's hand, "Hey, wasn't that meant for me?"

Maura shrugged and jumped at the opportunity to use humor. "What can I say, Barry likes me better."

"It's true," Frost added.

Jane feigned hurt and hugged her daughter tighter. "At least Luna likes me." And as if Luna was in on the joke, she started to cry.

"You have got to be kidding me," Jane said as she passes Lu over to Maura, "We're supposed to be a team!" she said with amusement in her voice.

"I like this little lady even more," Frost said as he peered over Maura's shoulder to look at Luna, who stopped fussing when she reached Maura's arms.

"Well, you three enjoy your new life together. I'm gonna go buy my own coffee, no thanks to you," Jane said in a joking manner as she walked out of the squad room. She secretly loved how close Frost and Maura were. It felt good to know that Maura had other people to rely on; had other people she felt comfortable around.

"Would you like to hold her?" Maura asked once Frost sat down in his chair.

"What? Oh no, I couldn't…"

"Oh, come on. I know you want to," Maura replied sweetly.

"Uh, alright," he said, holding out his arms.

Maura carefully handed over her daughter and watched Frost tense up. It wasn't until Luna smiled up at him did he finally relax and let out a relieved laugh.

Maura couldn't help the huge grin from spreading over her own face. Barry was a natural.

A few minutes later, Jane returned, piping hot coffee in hand. When she saw the scene in front of her, she continued on with the teasing.

"Oh well isn't this just precious," she said as she huffed passed the three of them and sat down at her desk. "What an adorable little family. So glad to see I'm so easily replaceable."

Maura looked over her shoulder at her pouting wife.

"Jane," she signed.

"No, no. It's fine. Don't mind me."

Maura turned back to Frost and whispered something. He nodded and Maura hopped off his desk to walk over to Jane.

"Jane," she said in a gentle tone. She waited until Jane set down her her coffee and looked up at her. "Will you come with me, please?" Maura asked and reached out for Jane's hand.

Jane gave her a confused look and glanced over at Frost and her daughter before grabbing her wife's hand, letting her lead her out of the squad room.

When they reached the hall, Jane squeezed Maura's hand and asked, "Maur, where are we going?"

Maura kept quiet and and continued to lead them down the hall until they reached one of the old storage rooms. She checked the handle, smiled when it opened and pulled Jane inside before flicking on the light.

"What are you—" Jane's question was cut off as Maura pressed her up against the door and attacked her mouth with her own.

Jane moaned into the kiss as she felt Maura's body press against her, pushing her back against the door. Hissed as she felt the top of her wife's thigh press between her legs. After a moment of realizing what was happening, Jane managed to tear her mouth away from Maura's eager lips.

Of course that didn't stop Maura, she just refocused her attention on Jane's neck.

"What are you doing?" Jane managed to ask.

"You're a detective, Jane. I think you can figure it out," Maura purred against her wife's neck and smiled into another kiss.

"We're at work," Jane said in a half-assed attempt to stop what was happening, even though she really didn't want it to.

"I know," Maura answered simply, "but you know what your jealousy does to me."

"I was joking, you know that right?" Jane asked with a laugh as she thought back to the conversation in the squad room. "I'm not actually jealous of you and Frost."

"Even in jest," Maura replied and worked her fingers to untuck Jane's shirt.

In one last effort Jane reminds Maura about their daughter, "What about Lu?"

"Nice try," Maura answered and began to undo the buttons of her wife's shirt. "Barry said he would watch her for a few minutes. I told him to call if she gets fussy." She paused for a moment and pulled back to look Jane in the eye.

"You think I'm that irresponsible of a mother?"

"What?! No of course not!"

Maura smiled. "I'm just kidding."

"Jesus. Give me heart attack, why don't you."

"If you really want me to stop, I will," Maura said as her fingers reached the final button of Jane's shirt. "I'm so glad you started wearing these again instead of those v-necks. Much sexier," she purred. She slipped her hands beneath Jane's tank top, sighing as her fingers come in contact with the warm, toned skin. "Do you want me to stop?" she asked one last time.

Jane knew they shouldn't do this, not here. Not at work. But with Maura's hands on her stomach and her breath against her neck…. _fuck it_.

"No," she breathed, "don't stop."

"That's what I thought," Maura said with a smile before leaning in to kiss her wife.

Quiet moans and quick breaths filled the small space of the storage room as their kisses became more passionate.

Maura's hands quickly undid Jane's belt buckle, followed by the buttons and zipper of her pants. Her right hand slipped beneath the cotton barrier and was met with a familiar feeling.

"That was fast," Maura whispered as the tips of her fingers slowly slid across Jane's center.

"Yeah well," Jane panted, "It's not everyday my gorgeous wife surprises me at work with our adorable child, gets turned on by my pretend jealousy and sneaks me away to a storage room to fuck me against a door," she paused as Maura gently bit down on her collarbone and slowly entered her. "Makes it a little difficult to stay dry."

"I'll keep that in mind for future reference," Maura replied with a smirk.

"I bet you will," Jane responded out of breath.

Maura thrust forward, picking up the pace of her fingers. Her free hand pushed up the fabric of her wife's tank until it revealed her sports bra. One more push of her hand, revealed a pert breast. Maura quickly pulled it into her mouth, smiling as Jane let out a gasp and slumped even more against the door.

All it took was a few more thrusts, a curl of her fingers and a bite to the dark, aroused flesh for Jane to cry out. Maura was quick to press her mouth against Jane's, preventing any noise from escaping her lips. She moved her fingers until she felt Jane whimper against her before she slowly pulled out, bringing her fingers to her mouth.

"Fuck," Jane said out of breath as she watched Maura's fingers disappear between swollen lips.

As Jane attempted to calm her breathing, Maura began the process of making Jane look presentable again. She zipped her pants, buckled her belt, pulled down her sports bra and tank before buttoning up and tucking in Jane's shirt. She rested her hands on Jane's chest, waiting for her to open her eyes.

When she did, Maura said, "Good as new."

"Better than new."

They both smiled before sharing one more quick kiss.

"Thank you for that," Jane said.

"Of course," Maura responded before looking over her shoulder at the room. "Could you put that box on the shelf?"

Jane gave her a confused look. "Why?"

"Just do it, please."

Once Jane did as she was told, the two exited the room, quickly cleaned up in the nearby bathroom and made their way back to the bullpen. They both smiled at the sight before them; Luna was sound asleep in Frost's arms.

"Where did you two sneak off to," Frost asked when he spotted the duo.

Jane felt herself panic as she looked to Maura.

"Jane was just helping me move some boxes," Maura replied calmly.

Jane stood with her mouth hanging open. Damn Maura was good.

"Thank you for watching her," Maura said as she transferred Luna from Barry's arms to her own. "I hope she wasn't too much trouble."

"Of course not. Fifteen minutes with this little cutie is much better than spending my afternoon with a perp."

"Is that where Korsak is?" Maura asked before bending down to buckle Luna into her carseat.

"Yup. Interrogation," Jane answered. "I'm up next."

"Do you think you'll be home for dinner? I think Angela is making eggplant parmesan for everyone. And did you talk your brother?"

"Shouldn't be a problem," Jane replied and sat down at her desk. "And Tommy, Lydia and TJ are planning on coming over around 6:30pm."

Maura picked up the carrier and stood by the edge of Jane's desk. "Sounds good." She leaned down to kiss her wife on the cheek. "I'll see you later. Love you."

"Love you too. I'll call you when I'm on my way."

xxxx

A few hours later, bellies filled with Angela's cooking, the adults were sitting around the living room waiting for Lydia and TJ to emerge from the bathroom. They all laughed at Luna who was wiggling around on her belly in the middle of the room, Bass sitting nearby and poking his head out curiously at the little baby. Turtle & Tortoise.

"Looooooook," TJ's voice rang out as he ran from the bathroom to the middle of the room, showing off his costume.

"I is a doctor like aunt Momo!" he said happily, spinning in a circle to show the adults his light blue scrubs and cap.

Jane looked up from her spot on the floor just in time to catch Maura smile and bring her hand to her chest. It was always the little things that pulled at her heartstrings.

"I look like you!" he said and ran up to Maura on the couch, climbing to sit next to her. He pulled the plastic stethoscope from around his neck and put the earbuds in his ear. "And I gots a stella soap," he said and pressed the diaphragm against Maura's chest. She couldn't help but laugh at his pronunciation.

"A stethoscope, that's right sweetheart. Do you hear anything?"

He nodded enthusiastically, "Uh huh!"

"What do you hear?" she asked.

"Your heart is talkin'," he answered. "Thump thump thump thump!"

She smiled at him and he slid off the couch to go play with Luna. He listened to her heartbeat too before asking, "Why can't Lulu go trick-or-treating with us?"

"Because she's still too little, bud," Jane answered. "Next year she can go with you, but now you get to go with your mommy and daddy and grandma Rizzoli."

"Not Momo?" he asked sadly and glanced over at Maura before returning his attention to Jane.

"Momo and I are staying here with Lulu. We gotta pass out candy to the other trick-or-treaters."

He frowned.

"But we can play when you get back, alright?"

"Alright," he said with a sigh.

"Come on buddy," Tommy finally said, "Let's go, dude before all the candy runs out!"

That seemed to turn his frown upside down. "The candy will run out?!" he asked in shock.

"If we don't hurry up and get out of here, yes!" he said.

"We don't want that," Jane said and gave TJ a little push toward the door, "Go, go!"

And with that, TJ ran towards the door where Angela and Lydia were waiting. "See you girls later," Angela yelled before they exited, leaving Jane, Maura and Luna in silence.

"Finally some peace and quiet," Jane said playfully as picked up Luna and joined her wife on the couch. "That kid really loves you," she added with a loving smile.

"TJ?" Maura questioned.

"Mhmm."

"He is such a sweetheart."

"I love watching the two of you," Jane admitted.

"You do?" Maura asked as she takes Luna from Jane's arms.

Before Jane could respond, she was interrupted by the doorbell. "One sec," she said as she made her way to the front entrance to pass out candy.

She stayed at the door for about twenty minutes as kids kept coming up. When she didn't see anyone near the house she quickly shut the door and flicked off the outdoor lights before making her way back into the house, flipping off every light switch she passed.

"What are you doing?" Maura asked as she placed her sleeping daughter in the bassinet near the couch.

"Pretending no one is home," Jane replied and turned on the TV before flicking off all the other lights. She plopped down on the couch, stretching out her body. "We're almost out of candy, so I figure it's only fair that we get to eat the last of it."

Maura laughed as she made her way over to the couch and climbed on top of Jane, settling in against her wife. Jane clicked through the channels before deciding on 'The Nightmare Before Christmas."

After a few minutes of watching the film, Maura remembered their conversation that got interrupted. "So," she began, "you like watching me and TJ?"

Jane chuckled and hugged Maura tighter against her. "Mhmm. Remember last Halloween?"

Maura smiled against Jane's neck, "How could I forget? I was terrified taking TJ trick-or-treating by myself!"

"But you were so good with him," she replied and kissed Maura's head. "He brings out the best in you, Maur and it's nice to watch."

They stay quiet for a few minutes, both lost in memories of last Halloween.

"That was when we were the only ones who knew I was pregnant," Maura whispered after a while. "I can't believe it's been a year since we found out."

"I know, it's crazy. Time is flying."

They continued watching the movie in silence as Jane played with Maura's hair and Maura rubbed her thumb in slow circles against Jane's arm. It didn't take long for them both to fall asleep.

An hour or so later, Tommy and Lydia were getting the spare room in the guesthouse ready while Angela and TJ burst through the back door to Maura and Jane's house.

"Why are all the lights off?" Angela asked as she turned on a light by the dining room table.

TJ rounded the corner and saw his aunts sleeping on the couch and Luna sound asleep in the bassinet next to them.

"Aw man," he frowned, "They is sleepin' already." He then started giggling.

"What's so funny," Angela asked as she peered over the couch.

"Momo's sleepin on top of aunty Jane. They silly."

"Yes they are," Angela replied. "Come on sweetheart, let's go back to grandma's house. You can play with them in the morning."

"Ok," he sighed and followed his grandma to the back door. "Wait!" he yelled and ran over to the couch. He pulled two pieces of candy out of his plastic orange pumpkin and put one on Maura's back and one on Jane's forehead. "Happy Halloween," he whispered with a giggle before running back to his grandma.


	10. Chapter 10

It had been almost an hour since Maura had put her daughter back in the bassinet after a feeding and returned to bed. The clock flashed 3:27 AM and she was far from sleep.

Tomorrow, or today rather, would be her first day back to BPD in months. Her mind swirled with excitement, fear and nerves...

_Am I prepared to go back? Am I ready to leave Lu? Does Angela have everything she needs for tomorrow? Is there enough pumped milk in the freezer? Did Jane put the extra pump in the car or do I need to grab it in the morning? What if the lab has changed since I've been away? What if—_

"Maura, go to sleep," Jane grumbled in her slumber as she rolled over to pull her wife against her. She rested her chin on top of Maura's head and Maura snuggled in against her chest.

"How did you know I was awake?" Maura asked curiously, her lips tickled Jane's skin as she spoke.

"I can practically hear you thinking," Jane replied.

"That's not poss—"

"I know," Jane cut her off, "I can feel the tension. What's happening in the brain of yours, huh?" she asked as she played with Maura's hair, hoping the calming action would lull her to sleep.

After a long pause, Maura answered.

"Is it horrible that I'm excited?" she asked seriously.

Maura felt Jane's head shake atop her own.

"No. Not at all. And before you even ask it, no, that does not make you a bad mom. Looking forward to going back to a job you love and are passionate about does not make you a bad mom."

Maura smiled against Jane's skin, feeling lucky to have someone who understands her.

"Thank you," she said and lightly kissed Jane's throat.

Jane responded by pulling her closer.

"What else?" Jane asked.

"Hm?"

"Oh come on, Dr. Isles. I know that wasn't the only thing keeping you up. What else?"

A gentle laugh escaped Maura's mouth before she continued on with what was on her mind.

"I'm nervous," she said honestly.

"You? Nervous?!" Jane mocked surprise and repositioned herself so she and her wife were face to face. She reached out to move the hair out of Maura's eyes before she continued, "About work or leaving Lu?"

"Both."

"I don't think you should feel nervous about the work part. You're brilliant and you're amazing at what you do. I bet you could be away for years and still be able to do a perfect Y-incision… with you eyes closed."

"Jane," Maura laughed.

"We both know it's true. I bet after an hour you'll feel right at home. As far as leaving Lu, well, I was nervous about that too."

Maura looked at her wife before gently pushing her to lay on her back so she could rest her head on Jane's chest. Jane obliged and tangled one hand in Maura's hair, the other slipped beneath her shirt to run her fingers against smooth, warm skin.

"How did you get through it?" Maura whispered her question. "How did you get through the day without seeing her or worrying about her. How did you manage to think about anything else?"

"Knowing she was home with her mamma certainly helped," Jane replied. "And knowing that I had the two of you to look forward to at the end of the day… something to fight for."

"That's sweet," Maura replied with a smile and reached her right hand up to trace the hem of Jane's tank top. "I love you."

"I know," Jane replied and kissed Maura's forehead. "I love you too."

"She'll be ok, Maur. And so will we."

Minutes passed and Jane thought Maura had finally fallen back to sleep when her quiet, sleepy voice whispered, "Jane?"

"Yeah?"

"I know Angela has agreed to watch Lu during the week, but—" she paused.

"But what?"

"Would it be alright if I asked my mom?" she asked and quickly added, "not instead of your mother, but, maybe they could do it together? Or have an alternating schedule. I just… I want my mom to have a second chance. To be better. I want her to get to know her granddaughter."

Jane smiled and rubbed her wife's back before responding, "Of course, Maur. Absolutely."

xxxx

Maura was the first to get out of bed the next morning. While she showered, did her makeup and got dressed, Jane slept until Luna's quiet whimper pulled her from sleep. She then changed her daughter's diaper, got her dressed and held her against her chest while she started the coffee pot.

And then, as if they had been doing the routine for years, Maura entered the kitchen just as Jane poured coffee and too much cream into a mug.

"Your turn," Maura said as she transferred Lu to her arms.

"Thirty minutes, tops," Jane replied with kiss before taking the stairs two at a time.

Maura heard the shower turn on as she moved about the kitchen, one handedly packing both of their lunches. She smiled as Luna's tiny hand seemed to press harder against her chest when she turned on the blender to make her fruit and kale smoothie.

"It's okay sweetheart," she whispered and placed a gentle kiss to her daughter's forehead.

Maura poured the liquid into her to-go cup and placed it in the fridge, closing it after counting the bottles of milk.

"Come on baby," she cooed as she walked over to the couch and sat back against the cushions. "Let's feed you before grandma gets here." She rested her daughter against her thighs as she pulled her shirt over her head and slipped open the material of her nursing bra.

"There we go," Maura said when Luna latched on and looked up her mamma. "Hi darling," she whispered with a smile and swiped her thumb against Lu's cheek. She melted when her daughter's tiny hand went to rest on Maura's breast. "I can't believe you're two months old already," she said in awe.

"Mama and I are going back to work today," she began in a quiet, gentle voice. Maura found herself talking more and more to her daughter as the weeks went on, knowing it was good for her development, but also loving the way Luna looked at her, like she was hanging on every word. Maybe it was all in her head, but it didn't matter; she'd continue doing it, regardless.

"I'm going to miss you so much and I'll be thinking about you all day. But I know you're going to be just fine. Grandma Rizzoli is going to take such good care of you and tomorrow you might get to see Grandma Isles."

Somehow, Jane managed to make it downstairs without alerting Maura of her presence. Before entering the living room, she paused outside the entryway when she heard her wife's voice. She leaned her back against the wall and listened, smiling with each word.

"You'll be alright," Maura continued. "I...I'll be alright. It's just a few hours and then mamma and I will be home to snuggle with you and make you smile. We'll have tummy time and mamma will read you a story and then you and I will have our special time together," she chokes out before laughing. "I'm sorry," she said breathily and wiped the single tear that trailed down her cheek. "Mamma would say mommy is being silly. But I'm really going to miss you," she admits, watching her daughter's eyes start to flutter shut, "Don't do anything too cute while we're gone, ok? I love you."

At that moment, Jane entered the room after wiping her own eyes. She walked over to the couch where Maura had just pulled up the flap on her nursing bra and rested her daughter against her chest.

Jane stood behind the back of the couch, smiling down her favorite people in the world. She reached out with her hand to gently cup her wife's cheek and wiped away another tear that had fallen. "I love you," she said and transferred Luna into her arms for a burping, giving Maura a chance to put her shirt back on.

Dressed, Maura walked around the couch and let Jane pull her in for a hug.

"My girls," Jane whispered and kissed Maura's head. Maura smiled and snuggled closer, reaching out to tickle her daughter's toes.

The trio stayed like that for a few minutes longer until Luna was sound asleep against her mamma. Jane and Maura didn't pull away until they heard a knock on their backdoor.

"Ready?" Jane asked.

"No...yes. No. Yes?"

Jane laughed and playfully pinched Maura's side. "It's gonna be ok, Maur."

"I know."

"We can always FaceTime if we need to," Jane said, pulling a full laugh from her wife's throat.

Another, more urgent, knock finally made the two pull away.

"I'm surprised she's knocking and not just barging in here," Jane replied as she went to open the door.

"Me too," Maura said, just as surprised.

After a few minutes of getting settled, Maura went to open her mouth but was cut off by Angela.

"Milk's in the fridge, feeding schedule on the counter, everything I could ever possibly need is in the nursery, and if I have any questions, I'll call you," Angela said in one long breath. "My grandbaby is gonna be just fine."

Maura and Jane exchanged looks before Maura pulled Angela into a hug and whispered, "Thank you."

After a few more kisses to their daughter's head, Jane grabbed her keys, Maura grabbed her smoothie and lunches from the fridge and as if they had planned it, one phone rang, another buzzed.

"Rizzoli."

"This is Dr. Isles."


	11. Chapter 11

Half past seven on Thanksgiving night, Maura knocked on the front door of her parent's home. A few hours prior she had been called last minute on a case, making her very late. So late.

"Maura, my darling," Constance greeted her with a warm smile and eager arms. "You made it. Jane said you got called on another case?"

Maura nodded and stepped into the front hall.

"I'm so sorry," Maura said in a shaky voice. "I've missed it, haven't I? Her first Thanksgiving and I've missed it," she added and quickly wiped away her tears.

"And the pie!" she suddenly remembered. "I forgot the pie on my kitchen counter," she exhaled in defeat.

"Oh, Maura," her mother replied and pulled her in for a hug. "Sweetheart, it's alright. It's alright. Come here, my darling girl." Constance looped an arm around her daughter's middle and led her up the staircase to her bedroom.

By the time they reached the master bathroom, Maura's mascara had trailed down her cheeks and her breathing was labored. It wasn't until her mother gently urged her to sit down on the chair near her vanity that Maura realized where she was. She hadn't been in her parent's room since she was a little girl.

"I promised myself I would never miss anything important," Maura said quietly after a few moments of calming down. Constance tried to ignore the pang of hurt she felt from the statement.

Maura quickly realized what she'd said and added, "Wait, no. That's not what I meant-" she was silenced by Constance's raised hand.

"I know," she said with a small smile, "but Maura, you haven't missed anything," Constance replied as she reached for a few items on the vanity counter.

Maura looked up at her mother who had begun to gently wipe at her daughter's face with a tissue, cleaning up the mascara that had run.

"What?"

"The food is warm and ready to be served, everyone is happily enjoying each other's company in the living room and Luna just woke up from her nap. She'll be so happy to see you."

Constance dipped the pads of her ring fingers in a tiny jar before dabbing the eye cream above daughter's cheekbones.

"There we go," she whispered with a smile and tucked a strand of hair behind Maura's ear, "good as new." She waited a minute for her daughter to say something, or at the very least stop looking at her like she has two heads.

"Darling?" she asked after a while.

"You... you all waited for me?" Maura asked in disbelief.

Constance let out a surprised laugh. "Of course we did, Maura. Of course we did." She paused before continuing, "I don't want to miss the important stuff either. Not anymore."

"Mom," Maura choked.

"Ah, ah ah. No more crying. Not after I just fixed your makeup," Constance replied playfully and helped her daughter stand.

"Thank you," Maura mumbled against her mother's neck as she hugged her. "Thank you. I...I love you."

"I love you too darling. So much," she replied with a kiss to her daughter's head. "Come on, let's go see that family of yours."

xxxx

Her mother walked with her to the living room before heading down the hall to the kitchen to help Angela bring out the food.

Maura stood in the entryway and watched her family. After all these years, she still couldn't believe it. She smiled at her father who was sitting in his recliner with Lu tucked against his chest. She watched on as Barry, his mother and Jane all sat on the floor with Barry's step brother Cameron to build a tower out of Legos. Jane's brother's and their girlfriends were huddled on the couch, watching a football game on the small TV with TJ sitting at the coffee table nearby, coloring furiously on a giant cartoon turkey. From the kitchen she heard Angela and her mother playfully scold Vince for sneaking food. She loved her family.

TJ, of course, was the first to spot her peeking around the entryway. "Mo!" he yelled excitedly and nearly tripped over a toy truck as he ran to her.

Maura managed to bend down just in time to catch him in hug. "Hello sweetheart."

"Come see!" he shouted after wiggling out of Maura's hug and grabbed eagerly at her hands, pulling her towards the dining room. Jane smiled up at her as the two walked by.

When they reached the neatly set table, he spread his arms out wide, "Looky! Look what I did!"

"Oh my goodness!" Maura replied. "You set the table all by yourself?"

TJ looked down shyly before answering, "I had help. But Gramma Cost-ess let me do all the names by myself!" He said excitedly and pulled at Maura's hands once again, "see look, me and you!" He pointed to two of the place settings, one said "Maura," and the two next to her read, "TJ" and "Jane."

"I wouldn't want to sit next to anyone else," Maura said. "You did such a good job."

TJ grinned. So proud.

Just then, the name registered in her head and she looked down at her nephew in confusion.

"Costess?" she asked and reached down to pick up the toddler. "Who is that, honey?"

TJ giggled and looked at her, astonished. "Your mommy, silly! Gramma Cost-ess!" he explained before resting his head in the crook of her neck and began playing with the pendant of her necklace.

"Wha-oh! Constance," she said.

Just then her mother walked in, setting a bowl down on the center of the table.

"He calls you grandma," Maura said, her voice soft. She couldn't quite put a word to the emotion she was feeling.

Constance walked over to the two and rubbed a hand through TJ's hair before responding. "Some days when I watch Luna, Angela stops by with TJ. I think he's heard people refer to me as Lu's grandma and he know's Angela is her grandma too… kid logic," she finished with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Is that ok?" Maura asked.

"Of course. I'm honored," her mother replied with a smile, matching her daughter's expression. "Now, help me with the rest of these dishes." Constance turned on her heel and headed towards the kitchen.

Maura removed TJ from her hip and set him back down on the ground, "Will you please go let everyone know it's time to eat?"

"Time to eat!" he yelled and ran to the other room.

xxxx

Long after the table had been cleared and most of the houseguests decided to drive home instead of spending the night like last year, Jane found Maura in the library, snuggled up on the couch in front of the fireplace. Just like last year. The only difference now was the little girl in her arms.

"I brought pie," Jane whispered as she made her way over to the couch. "Two slices this time. I came prepared."

Maura laughed as Jane snuggled up next to her.

"Give me a bite," Maura said, opening her mouth. "Mmm," she licked her lips, "your mother makes the best pie."

"I've tasted better," Jane replied with a smirk, causing her wife to shake with laughter. "She almost done?" she asked, peeking at her daughter.

"I think so. Her latch is loosening."

"Lucky Lu, you've got the best dessert, don't ya peanut?"

"Jane," Maura sighs in amusement, "I thought we were done with the boob jokes?"

Jane gasped. "Me? Never!"

"You're going to be such an embarrassing mom," Maura joked.

"As long as I'm just a peg below my mom's level of crazy, Lu will be fine," Jane replied and took another bite of pie.

"Speaking of mothers," Maura said as she removed her daughter from her breast and rested her against her shoulder to burp, "TJ started calling my mother grandma."

Maura leaned in to be fed another bite.

"I heard," Jane said.

"Do you think Angela is ok with that?"

Jane shrugged. "So what if she's not? If our nephew feels comfortable enough with your mom to call her grandma, then so be it. I think it's great."

Maura smiled at her wife, "Me too."

"Constance is ok with it?"

"Thrilled."

"Well that's all the matters."

The two fell into a comfortable silence, both listening to the quiet gurgling noises coming from their daughter and the gentle rhythm of Maura's hand patting her back; the occasional clanking of Jane's fork against her plate as the two shared the second piece of pie.

"I'm glad you made it tonight," Jane said after a while.

"Me too," Maura replied honestly. "I thought I missed it, when I got here, I thought I'd missed it."

"You didn't honestly think we'd eat without you, did you?"

"It was late! Of course I thought that."

"There was plenty of appetizers, otherwise I'm not so sure we would've waited," Jane said playfully. "Kidding," she adds, "it wouldn't be the same without you, Maur. And I'm not just saying that because you're my wife. We all feel it. It's your family too."

Jane leaned in and kissed her wife's cheek before nibbling at her ear.

"I love you," Maura replied, unable to say anything else. Luckily her and Jane were the best at communicating much more with a simple look or a quick 'I love you.' Maura shifted to stand up and looked at Jane, "I'm going to put her down. I'll be right back."

She glanced over her shoulder when she got to the door, "Don't you dare finish that pie."

"So bossy."

xxxx

Shortly after putting her daughter to bed, Maura returned to the library to find Jane on the couch with her feet resting on the coffee table. Maura glanced at the plate sitting next to her wife.

"Jane! I told you to save some for me!" she said as she made her way to the couch.

"I did!"

Maura raised an eyebrow.

"There is a whole dollop of whipped cream," Jane replied with a smirk, "we both know that's your favorite part. Remember last year?"

"How could I forget," Maura answered as she went to straddle Jane's waist. "We told everyone I was pregnant." She reached out to dip her finger in the cream, bringing it up to her lips. Jane growled.

"Oh," she added, "that's not what you were referring to, was it?" Maura grinned wickedly as her finger disappeared between her lips and Jane's grip on her waist tightened. She once again dipped her finger in the whipped cream and brought her finger to Jane's lips this time, sliding her finger in slowly. "You were referring to the time we spent in here and my bedroom after dinner?" She asked, smirking.

Jane sucked the finger in her mouth, causing Maura to moan.

"That's exactly what I was referring to," Jane said after her mouth was empty. She reached for the plate to dip her own finger in the cream, bringing it up to swipe down Maura's neck. "Feel familiar," she purred against Maura's skin before trailing her tongue up her wife's neck, pausing to suck at her pulse point.

"Jane," she breathed out with a thrust of her hips.

Encouraged, Jane's hands slipped lower and squeezed Maura's backside. Her lips trailed higher and Maura's hands found their way to Jane's hair, pulling gently as her wife's mouth pressed against her jaw.

"Jane," she whispered again, letting her head fall back, giving Jane better access to her pale and freckled, sensitive skin. When Jane's hand found it's way under Maura's shirt, squeezing at the warm skin beneath her bra, Maura gasped, "Take me to bed."

xxxx

The minute she landed on her childhood bed, Maura was ready. She wasn't sure why it was that every time she and Jane stayed at her parents house, they always ended up in bed, doing everything but sleep. This year she was thankful that no one else decided to spend the night, meaning she didn't have to worry about waking Jane's brothers (or any other family member) from her sighs of approval or the rocking of her bed against the wall. She was thankful that her room was on the other end of the hall from her parents. Thankful for Jane on top of her.

Her entire body was tingling with each touch of Jane's skin against her own. Goosebumps formed with each article of clothing removed.

"Are you sure?" Jane asked when her hands came around to the clasp of her bra. They hadn't done this fully undressed for while now. Maura nodded.

"I'm sure," she whispered, "I want you to see all of me…. I want to feel _all_ of you," she breathed. Jane removed the last piece of clothing between the two of them and slowly lowered herself on top of her wife. They both gasped. Hips thrusted, mouths were filled, and flesh was palmed and scratched.

"Jane…"

Jane's lips moved from Maura's mouth and trailed down her jaw, her neck. She nipped at her collarbone and soothed the pink skin with her tongue. She paused at her wife's breasts, in awe of how much they had changed since she started breastfeeding.

She pulled back and Maura laughed at her. "Huge, right?"

"Jesus," Jane said in disbelief as one hand trailed up Maura's torso before gently cupping a full breast. "This ok?" she asked, cautious of the sensitivity. Maura nodded and Jane leaned in to kiss the dark skin before continuing her descent down Maura's body, kissing freckles and stretch marks and hip bones.

"Stay up here," Maura requested, pulling gently at Jane's hair.

Jane obeyed and was once again eye-level with her wife. They kissed and hands roamed; Jane's hips rocked against Maura's thigh, building the tension.

After a while it became too much, and Maura reached between their bodies to rub her fingers where Jane needed her most. She sighed happily as Jane slumped against her, whispering her name on repeat as she came down from her high. When Jane gained her composure, her own hand drifted between them and Maura eagerly spread her legs.

"Inside," she urged, "I want you inside."

"Mmm," Jane kissed her neck, "Are you sure? We haven't-"

"Yes, please," Maura assured her. While they hadn't yet made love in this way since before their daughter was born, Maura finally felt ready to go all the way again. "I'm ready," she insisted after Jane hesitated, "I trust you."

"I'll be gentle," Jane replied for her own assurance.

"I know," Maura gasped, feeling her wife's fingers travel lower.

Jane slumped against her momentarily when she felt Maura's arousal, happy that her body was finally responding to her touches again.

"Please," Maura begged, "inside. I need you inside…" her voice trailed off as Jane started kissing her neck. She hissed when she felt Jane slowly enter her and felt Jane start to pull away at the sound.

"No," Maura said quickly and pulled Jane closer to her, "No, no… stay," she whimpered. "So good...you feel… so good."

" _Fuck_ ," Jane whispered as she thrusted forward, feeling Maura's teeth bite her shoulder. "So wet," she moaned and Maura shifted her hips upward, meeting Jane's thrusts. "God, I've missed you."

"Missed...you… too-OH… oh god… Jane…"

Jane propped herself up on one elbow to make it easier to push harder, watching in awe as Maura's chest rise and fall, her breasts moving with each thrust. The breathy sounds of encouragement escaping her lips as she got closer.

"Yes… oh… yes… right… there…" Maura managed to get out.

"Come on," Jane encouraged, "look at me, Maur."

And she did. She looked up at her wife with a lustful gaze. "So close…"

Jane moved her thumb and scissored her fingers.

"God...yes... "

"Let go, honey."

"... _Jane_!"

Jane smiled down at her and leaned in to kiss the corner of her mouth.

"God you're beautiful," she said as she collapsed against her wife. She started to pull her hand free, but Maura quickly stopped her.

"Stay," she said, out of breath. "Please, stay…"

"Always," Jane replied and snuggled against Maura, resting her head on her shoulder; she kissed her neck.


	12. Chapter 12

Maura was filling out paperwork when her phone chimed with an incoming text from Jane. She smiled as she swiped her finger across the screen to read it.

_It's snowing :)_

_I know._

_Oh really? The morgue suddenly grow windows?_

_Ha. Ha. Ha. I happen to know how to use the weather app on my phone._

_*gasp* you're telling me a genius knows how to use an iPhone?!_

Maura laughed out loud and before she could respond, another text from Jane appeared.

_Same as last year? I'll do the fort, you grab the food?_

_Actually, let's switch it up. I have a surprise for you._

_Oh really? ;)_

_Yes, really. Get your mind out of the gutter :) I'll meet you at home in an hour._

xxxx

Just over an hour later, Jane greeted Maura in the kitchen with a box of pizza and a smaller container of salad.

"Pizza?" Maura frowned.

"Relax, it's thin crust and it's got vegetables and that fancy cheese you like. _And_ if I remember correctly, last year you brought home bacon cheeseburgers with peanut butter! Don't even try to guilt me with healthy alternatives," Jane teased. "Where's Lu?"

"She's upstairs with my mom. Diaper change."

Jane gave a nod and glanced over at the living room. Her expression changed to one of confusion.

"Where's the fort?"

"Well," Maura said nervously, "that's the surprise." She grabbed the food boxes from Jane's hands and placed them on the counter before reaching for Jane. "Come here," she said, squeezing her wife's hand and leading her towards the stairs.

As they reached the second floor, they stopped in the doorway of Lu's nursery to say hello to their daughter and goodbye to Maura's mother.

"I hope you like the surprise, Jane," Constance said with a kiss to Maura's cheek. "I'll see you next week, darling."

"Bye, mom," Maura said with a smile. "Thank you again."

"Of course, dear. Let me know how she likes it."

When they heard the front door close, Maura took Luna from Jane's arms and turned to her wife.

"Ready?" Maura asked nervously.

Jane nodded, still clearly confused.

"Ok," Maura said and turned to head down the hall and paused in front of one of the guest rooms. She turned to look at Jane, "If you don't like it, we can-"

"I won't know if you don't show me! Come on, Maur, the suspense is killin' me."

After a deep breath, Maura adjusted her hold on her daughter and opened the the door, stepping aside for Jane to cross the threshold.

"Oh...my...god," Jane said in a daze as she entered the room, her mouth hanging wide.

In the back corner of the room, there was a mattress lined with colorful pillows and blankets. Above it, sheets were draped beautifully and strategically in intricate layers, creating one massive, cozy fort. The sheets were suspended by delicate chains, some that ran horizontally, others hooked into the ceiling and suspended vertically, all of them wrapped in twinkling lights. The fireplace adjacent gave the room a warm glow.

"How did you…" Jane's voice trailed off as she stepped further into the room.

"My mom," Maura began and went to stand next to her wife. "She has a friend who does interior decorating and helped us design this. I thought… well I thought it might be easier to keep it like this year round. I thought it would be difficult to do our usual tradition in the living room with all the set up and take down. If you don't like it, we can take it down…"

"No," Jane quickly cut in, "No, Maur… it's… beautiful," she said, finally managing to take her eyes off the fort.

"So you like it?" Maura asked hopefully.

"I love it."

Maura couldn't help but smile at her wife's approval.

"I was thinking we could use it for story time or just quiet time, too. I've also asked the decorator to come back and add a table with chairs and toy storage outside of the fort, perhaps an easel or two, that way it can double as a playroom."

"A playroom for the adults or the kids?" Jane asked with a smirk as she wrapped an arm around Maura's waist.

"Both," Maura replied with a grin.

Jane looked back at the massive structure and asked, "how did you manage to do this in one day?"

"Oh it took much longer than that," Maura answered. "I've been tracking the weather for a while now and the design plans were done almost a month ago."

Jane looked at her, impressed.

"How long did it take to build?"

"About a week. Luckily you don't ever come in this room, so it was actually quite easy to keep it a secret."

Jane smiled at her before glancing back at the fort. "It really is beautiful. Thank you."

xxxx

A couple of hours later, after dinner for both Luna and her mamas, the three were huddled beneath the fort, propped against layers of pillows with their feet buried under warm blankets. Maura was nuzzled up against Jane's shoulder with Lu resting against Maura's tummy. Jane sat with a book in hand, reading aloud.

Maura loved story time. She loved listening to Jane's voice change to fit the different characters. Loved the feeling of her daughter wiggle against her, smiling. The fort only made it that much more special.

Once the story was finished, Jane closed the book and kissed the heads of her girls. "Time for bed?" she asked, looking down at her daughter who had fallen asleep. Maura nodded and handed Lu over to Jane.

While Jane put their daughter to bed, Maura quickly snuck off to their bedroom to change before snuggling back up under the blankets in the fort. Jane rejoined her a few minutes later, setting the baby monitor down on the nearby table.

"I hate that she's in her own room now," Jane said as she settled in against her wife.

"I know," Maura agreed, "she's growing up so fast."

The two rolled on their backs and looked up at the twinkling lights; content.

"... but then, she's still so tiny," Jane added. "It will be fun when she's old enough to experience our first snowfall traditions, you know? I can't wait to take her sledding and help her build a snowman." She turned her head to look at Maura, "her first taste of hot chocolate."

"Baking cookies with her grandma, making snow angels, helping us pick out a tree," Maura added with a smile.

"Although," Jane said with a grin as she rolled onto her side, "there is one part of our tradition that might get a little difficult to hide as she gets older."

"Oh?" Maura replied with a smirk of her own and turned to face Jane. "And what tradition would that be?" she asked coyly.

"Hmm," Jane played along, "I don't know…" she said before trailing her hand up Maura's thigh beneath the covers, surprised at the amount of skin she could feel.

"Maybe if you pull back the covers, you might find the answer you're looking for," Maura whispered seductively.

Jane licked her lips before slowly pulling back the blanket that covered her wife.

"Jesus," she barely managed to get out as she looked down at Maura who had a smug and seductive expression on her face.

"Do you like it?"

"I think you know the answer to that question," Jane replied as she practically drooled over Maura, looking down at the sheer, cream colored nylon and silk babydoll dress that barely reached mid thigh. The light peach colored lace that encased Maura's breasts left nothing to the imagination. Maura Isles didn't mess around when it came to her lingerie; she always had the best of the best.

" _Fuck_ , you're sexy. Are you sure you just had a baby?" Jane whispered, but before she could reach out, Maura quickly rolled onto her stomach, propping herself up just slightly on her knees to push her bottom in the air, causing the fabric to ride up. Jane couldn't wait another second.

Maura sighed as she felt Jane straddle the backs of her thighs and slowly ran her scarred palms along her skin until they reached her ass. Jane palmed roughly at her flesh and gave a playful slap before leaning in to kiss the pink skin. She repeated the action with her lips a few times before biting a cheek gently. Maura moaned.

"You really had this whole evening planned out, didn't you," Jane whispered against warm skin. Her lips pausing to kiss the freckled skin of Maura's back before lowering her body and thrusting her pelvis against Maura's ass.

"Mmm," Maura answered. "You're wearing too many clothes," she said as she felt the cotton of Jane's t-shirt and sweatpants against her back and legs.

Jane laughed against her neck before sitting back to quickly remove her clothes and press herself back against Maura. Maura gasped when she felt her wife's hardened nipples glide against the exposed skin of her back.

"Better?" Jane asked as she latched her mouth onto Maura's neck and sucked roughly before nipping at the sensitive skin.

Continuing an assault on Maura's neck with her tongue, Jane removed the pillow from beneath Maura's head so that she was laying flat against the mattress. She trailed her hands up Maura's arms and pinned them above her with a gentle push on her wrists. Maura seemed to understand what she was about to do and turned her hands so her palms were facing up. Jane slid her hands up from her wrists and linked their hands together. For a brief moment, the only thing Maura felt was an increased pressure against her hands as Jane maneuvered herself in a new position. A moment later, she felt the wetness of Jane's center glide against her thigh.

"Jane," she moaned as her wife increased her movements, grinding herself against Maura's leg.

After a while, Maura became dissatisfied with not being able to see Jane's face as her orgasm was building against the pressure of her thigh. So, she decided to take things into her own hands. Figuratively.

"Jane," Maura whispered and squeezed her wife's hands. "Jane, stop." Instantly, Jane pulled away.

"What's wrong?" she asked out of breath and loosened her hold on Maura's hands.

"Nothing's wrong," Maura assured her with a smile and managed to turn herself over beneath Jane so she was laying on her back. "I just wanted to see you-"

Jane unknowingly cut her off and grinned at her, leaning in for a kiss. What was meant as quick and affectionate soon became wet and passionate. They were lost in the moment until Maura tilted her head to the side. Out of breath she said, "You didn't let me finish."

"I've barely gotten started," Jane replied cheekily and refocused her attention on Maura's neck.

Not to be outdone, Maura repeated her statement, "I was going to say, I just wanted to see you come...in my mouth," she purred, excited for Jane's reaction. The tongue on her neck stopped and she felt Jane's hips thrust forward at her words. Maura grinned; satisfied. She slipped her hands up Jane's thighs until they rested on her bottom; she squeezed and pulled forward.

"Sit on my face, Jane."

Jane looked down at her, eyes wide and full of lust. She always did love when Maura talked like that. Obeying, she crawled forward on her hands and knees and slowly lowered herself onto her wife's mouth, hissing in pleasure when she felt Maura's tongue against her.

Not once breaking eye contact, Maura worked her tongue expertly, knowing just when to suck, where to lick and when to nip. She felt her own body react to the noises Jane was making and the way she pressed her center closer to Maura's mouth as she got closer to her release. Noticing this, Maura reached up with one hand to squeeze a breast before trailing her hand upward towards Jane mouth, slowly sliding her finger between open lips. Jane took the finger into her mouth sucking roughly, pure lust in her eyes as she looked down at Maura who moaned against her center. It didn't take long before Jane was panting her wife's name as she came.

Letting her finger slip out of Jane's mouth, Maura collapsed her hands and her sides and looked up at Jane, satisfied with how much she could still please her. One smug grin was all it took for Jane to re-energize and before Maura could react, she found herself straddling Jane's waist. She had no idea how Jane managed to flip them so quickly.

Wasting no time, Jane sat up and slipped one lacy strap over Maura's shoulder and kissed the newly exposed skin until she reached her favorite spot. She pushed at the lace barrier until Maura's ample breast spilled out over the light material. A dark, sensitive nipple was soon covered by a warm, wet mouth. This was the first time in months that Maura's breasts were used for anything other than what they were made for; she welcomed the sensation and pulled Jane closer, entangling her hands in dark curls.

"Oh god..."

With her hands free, Jane reached around with one to pull Maura closer while her left traveled lower, easily slipping inside her wife. Maura pelvis rocked forward, welcoming Jane deeper. Jane moaned against her breast, sending vibrations of pleasure through Maura's whole body.

"Jane," she panted as her hips rocked at an increased speed and Jane's fingers slipped in and out quickly.

Just as Jane was about to seal the deal with swipe of her thumb, she pulled back, momentarily confused by the sweet taste in her mouth. Maura looked down at Jane as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, surprised at how oddly erotic the scene was.

After a moment to comprehend what had happened, Maura reached out with her thumb to wipe at Jane's chin. "Oh Jane, I'm so sorry…. the oxytocin, it-"

"Shh," Jane whispered and quieted her with a kiss.

"It's not a turn off?" Maura asked, breathless.

"Hell no," was Jane's honest response as she slipped one hand beneath the silk, urging Maura to slip the garment up and over her head.

Jane resumed her ministrations below as she went to latch herself once again to Maura's breast. She paused before making contact, "Is this ok?" Maura nodded and let her hands slide from Jane's hair to rest on her neck and cheek. "It's not weird?" Jane asked, needing the assurance. Maura shook her head and smiled, "No. Not weird."

That was all Jane needed to hear before enclosing Maura's breast in her mouth. She too was surprised by how erotic the act was, although still nervous that it might be a bit odd. Her nerves quickly disappeared as she felt Maura's walls tighten around her fingers. She moved her mouth up from dark skin and began peppering a freckled collarbone with kisses. Using the thumb of her free hand, Jane swiped it against Maura's left breast, covering her thumb with a thin layer of the leaked milk.

Maintaining eye contact, both sets of eyes dark and full of lust, Jane brought her thumb up to Maura's mouth, gently swiping the pad over her lips until Maura sucked it into her mouth. They both moaned at the sensation.

Meanwhile, Jane's other thumb was keeping itself busy. A few more thrusts, a swipe of her thumb and a bite to her collarbone had Maura gasping for air and chanting Jane's name. She collapsed against her and they both fell in a sweaty, exhausted and satisfied heap of limbs onto the mattress.

xxxx

A while later, after they both had time to recover, the duo lay on their backs in postcoital bliss, both still in shock at how... _amazing_ that was. Their bodies were slick with sweat, hair sticking haphazardly to necks and cheeks as they stared up at the twinkling lights in the fort.

"For parents, we're still pretty damn great at that," Jane said, breaking the silence with laughter. Maura's vibrant laugh soon joined.

"That was… incredible," Maura said honestly.

"Yes it was," Jane agreed.

Jane let her head fall to the side so she could look at Maura, in awe at how beautiful she looked even with her hair a mess and body slick with sweat. The glow of the fireplace highlighted her features.

"You're beautiful," she whispered accidentally and was rewarded with a radiant smile. Maura rolled over until she was comfortably settled against Jane, head resting on her chest.

"I love you," she replied in thanks.

An hour or so passed as they both lay there, content to listen to the thumping of heartbeats and crackling of the fire. Maura traced shapes with her fingertips on Jane's shoulder while Jane did the same on the bare skin of her back; their legs tangled beneath the sheets.

"Jane?" Maura asked after a while.

"Hm?" the reply came sleepily.

"Earlier, do you remember what you said when I showed you this room?"

"Um… that I love it?"

Maura's laugh rumbled between them.

"No, after that. When I told you it could be a playroom. Do you remember what you asked me?"

There was a pause while Jane tried to think back. "Uh...oh! I asked if it was for the adults or the kids?"

Maura sat up just enough to look down at Jane.

"Kid _s_. Plural," Maura grinned shyly. "Does that mean you want more?" she asked nervously.

Jane looked back at her, mirroring her nervous expression before answering honestly, "Of course I do. I mean, not right away, obviously. You need some time to recover," she said with a smile. "Lu would make a great big sister, don't ya think?"

"The best," Maura replied and kissed the side of Jane's mouth, "just like you."

Just when Jane thought Maura had fallen asleep, her tired voice whispered, "I wish it was easier… to get pregnant, I mean."

Jane hugged her closer, "you mean like, by doing what we just did?"

"Yes," Maura answered, "I wish we could make a baby like that… have that little element of surprise."

"Yeah, that would be nice," Jane agreed. "But, no matter how they get here, I love being mommies with you."

"Me too," Maura agreed with tears in her eyes.

"And…" Jane added, "it sure is fun to try…" she said with a grin and swiftly flipped Maura onto her back.

Maura giggled as Jane slipped beneath the sheets.

Yes, it certainly was.


	13. Chapter 13

Throwing the last of the crumpled wrapping paper and ribbons into a trash bag, Maura collapsed onto the couch next to her wife and daughter.

"That was exhausting," she said with a sigh and rested her head on Jane's shoulder. She smiled down at her daughter who was resting against Jane's thighs, looking up at her mamas with bright eyes. At the same time, both Jane and Maura reached out with their index fingers. They laughed as Luna first latched onto Jane's finger before reaching out to hold Maura's with a surprisingly strong grip. Luna smiled happily.

"I don't remember it being so tiring last year, which is surprising since I was pregnant," Maura continued, giving her finger a wag, laughing as Lu squeezed tighter.

"Well now you've got this little stinker keeping you busy," Jane replied, removing her hand from Lu's grasp to tickle her tummy instead. "And it seems TJ gets louder and messier every time we see him."

"Poor Tommy and Lydia. I doubt they'll be getting much sleep tonight. Not after all the sugar TJ consumed. I'm almost certain he had five candy canes in addition to the Christmas cookies Angela kept sneaking him," she said and tilted her head to look up at Jane. "How long do you think we can go without introducing Lulu to sugar?"

"That depends. Not long if you don't get better at hiding your fudge clusters," Jane answered teasingly.

Maura pulled back to get a better look at Jane's face. Her own expression was a mix of guilt and amusement. She thought she had been so good at hiding those.

Jane laughed and wrapped an arm around Maura's shoulders, pulling her back against her side.

"Oh come on, you can't be that surprised. Why do you think you have to buy them so frequently? You didn't really think you were eating all of those by yourself, did you?"

"Jane!"

"What? I'm a detective, it's part of my job."

"Oh really? I wasn't aware that eating your wife's fudge clusters was part of a detective's job description," Maura said with a grin and refocused her attention on Lu.

Jane shrugged and slid her hand from Maura's shoulder down to her hip and squeezed. "Maybe not. But that's not gonna stop me from eating my wife… 's clusters," she said with another squeeze, causing Maura to squirm.

"Jane," she said with a breathy laugh and shake of the head. She leaned in close, face-to-face with Luna. "Your mama is silly."

Jane's face leaned in next to them, resting cheek-to-cheek with Maura. "Mama can't help it that your mommy has good taste… but you already know that don't you, peanut?" Her hand drifted up from Maura's hip to the underside of her breast, squeezing gently.

Maura shooed her hand away. "I'm sorry honey. You're going to have to get used to mama's crude sense of humor," she said smiling before turning her head to kiss Jane's cheek.

"I think you secretly love my inappropriate jokes."

Maura shrugged, slipped out of Jane's embrace and stood up.

"Ah ha! _See_. You're avoiding and removing yourself from the situation so you don't have to lie," Jane said, grinning.

"That's not true," Maura said, trying to hide a smile of her own as she headed to the staircase. "I'll be right back; I need to change into something more comfortable to feed Lu." She gestured to her confining dress.

Jane pouted. "But I was looking forward to taking it off of you. You _know_ what red does to me."

Maura put her hands on her hips and gave Jane a look. "Jane," she said trying to sound and look serious. "Should I be worried that you're going to leave me for Santa?"

Jane's laughter filled the room and Maura continued her journey up the stairs.

"Not unless he has tits like yours," Jane called after her.

"Jane!" Maura tried to sound appalled, but she knew Jane could detect the amusement in her tone.

When Jane could no longer hear Maura's footsteps on the stairs, she leaned in close to her daughter, bumping their noses together before leaning back. "You know what I'm talking about, my little boob monster," Jane whispered playfully and reached out to grab Luna's tiny hand and pressed it to her own in an assisted high five.

A short while later, after washing her face and changing clothes, Maura made her way back downstairs. She paused at the end of the couch and looked at Jane who had her eyes closed.

"I _do_ know what red does to you," she said, causing Jane to open her eyes and look at her. Her mouth hung open at the sight of Maura who had stepped closer, body covered in red satin pajamas. The pajamas themselves weren't necessarily sexy or exposing; the pants and long sleeves of the button-up shirt left everything to the imagination, but it was the material that excited her. Smooth, soft satin against her favorite freckled skin, hiding some of her favorite parts. Speaking of freckles, the one's on her wife's face seemed to shine now that Maura had rinsed her face of the makeup that too often covered them.

Ah, who was she kidding, it wasn't the material. It was the woman wearing it who exuded the sexiness.

Maura now stood directly in front of Jane with a seductive look on her face as she began undoing the buttons on the front of her pajama top. "Consider this an early Christmas gift," she said with a grin as the last button gave way and revealed a tantalizing sliver of skin from neck to navel.

Jane mirrored her grin and wiggled her eyebrows.

"No seriously," Maura said and reached out to take Luna from Jane's arms and up to her breast, "There's a matching set for you upstairs." She couldn't help but smile proudly as she watched Jane's face.

"You tease. You are getting _way_ too good at that."

"At teasing?"

"Humor."

"Ah," Maura said and gestured at Jane, "scoot back."

Jane did as told and leaned back against the arm of the couch, pulling her knees up and then spread them so Maura could sit down between her legs.

Once Maura had Luna in a comfortable position and latch, she leaned her back against Jane's front and sighed. Content.

Jane's hands caressed the smooth material, sighing in equal content as her hands ran up Maura's side before moving her hair to one side. She placed gentle kisses on Maura's exposed neck before resting her chin on her shoulder, looking down at their daughter who was happily enjoying her Christmas eve meal.

"I'll admit," Jane said in a soft voice next to Maura's ear, "That was a pretty good one."

Maura smiled. "I thought so."

"Did you actually get me a set too?"

Maura bit her lip, "Yes."

Jane's laugh tickled the skin of her neck.

"Thank you."

Maura tilted her head to kiss Jane's cheek. "You're welcome. Your set is in black, though because you know what _that_ does to _me_."

"Mmm," Jane mumbled against her neck and leaned back so they were both reclining comfortably.

Lu feasted on and Maura sighed contentedly. Happy to be sandwiched between the loves of her life.

"Oh," she suddenly remembered, glancing over at the table against the back of the couch. "Can you reach that?" she asked Jane, pointing at her phone. "I want to look at the photos my mom took."

Shifting them all slightly, Jane reached for the phone and handed to it to Maura, resettling them so they both had a good look at the screen. Maura slid her thumb to unlock it and tapped until she was in the folder of photos.

"Can you?" she asked, handing the phone to Jane so she could hold onto her daughter. She felt Jane nod against her, head once again coming to rest on her shoulder as her thumb swiped through the photos from earlier in the evening.

_TJ in a santa hat; the Rizzoli siblings sandwiched on the couch; Angela at work in the kitchen; the brightly lit, beautifully decorated tree; the presents beneath that beautiful tree; a "selfie" of Constance, Henry and their granddaughter…_

"I love that," Jane said, pausing longer to look at the picture.

"Me too."

They both started laughing when they got to the photos of opening gifts, most of them were of TJ, grinning widely, his face beaming with excitement. They looked through a few more photos before coming across their favorite.

Jane and Maura were lying on their backs in front of the fireplace, both covered in used wrapping paper, put on them by TJ. The only part of them that remained uncovered was their faces, both of them caught mid-laugh, faces glowing. Luna had been placed on her tummy on top of them, above the wrapping paper, her back and head covered in a dozen bows. Next to them, TJ had his hands over his mouth, laughing uncontrollably. So proud of his work. A hilarious moment caught on camera.

"We're framing this," Maura said, wiping a tear from her cheek that had slipped out from laughing.

"Absolutely."

As they reached the last photo, Jane turned off the phone and set it back on the table. "Time for bed?" she asked as Maura yawned. Maura nodded and scooted forward, letting Jane get up from behind her. She passed Lu over to her so she could adjust her shirt and stand up.

"I can't wait to get in my new pajamas," Jane said playfully, "And get you out of yours."

Maura laughed, "not tonight."

Jane pouted. Ever since Maura had been "cleared for active duty," Jane couldn't get enough.

After putting their daughter to sleep in her crib, and after Jane changed into her new pajamas, the two snuggled up beneath the covers of their bed and shared a few kisses.

"Tomorrow's Christmas," Jane whispered and snuggled Maura against her.

"Luna's first," Maura smiled and Jane could feel it against her neck.

"Night, Maur. Love you."

"Love you too."

xxxx

In the morning, Maura awoke to featherlight kisses on her thighs. Jane, true to her word and gotten Maura out of her pajamas… her pajama _pants_ , anyway. Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, Maura laughed as she watched the lump that was her wife move beneath the covers. She inhaled sharply when she felt a kiss to her center, over the fabric of her underwear, followed by a gentle nip to her hip. She couldn't help the sigh of _Jane_ , that escaped her lips.

A few kisses later, Jane's wild head of hair popped out from the sheets to kiss her wife on the lips. "Merry Christmas," she said before focusing her attention on Maura's neck.

"Merry Christmas," Maura replied with a sigh. She pulled at Jane's neck, directing her back to her face, smiling up at her before pulling her down for another kiss.

And, as usual, what was meant as a sweet good morning kiss quickly turned into a _good morning_ kiss.

Jane's thigh snuck it's way between Maura's legs, her hand began to roam. The satin of their sleepwear only added to the level of sensation. Jane's hand slid over Maura's breast, feeling the tip harden beneath her touch. Maura moaned into her mouth; hips rose. Her own hands slid beneath Jane's pants and gripped at the round flesh, pulling her closer, causing them both to gasp.

"We should…" Maura managed between kisses, "... get up."

"We are up," Jane's raspy voice answered against her neck, "this is the last Christmas morning we'll have before Lu is old enough to wake us up and drag us downstairs at the buttcrack of dawn to see what Santa brought." She nipped at freckled skin. "So let's enjoy it."

Maura nodded, wordlessly and let Jane continue. Her eyelids fluttered shut and her body tingled with anticipation as Jane's fingers slipped beneath the lace barrier. "Jane," she sighed, hips rising to meet Jane's movements. "Oh… _yes…_ "

xxxx

A while later, after Luna's cry over the monitor prompted them to get out of bed, the family of three was once again snuggled up on the couch.

"Present time," Jane said cheerfully as she got up to grab Maura's gift from under the tree.

"Will you grab yours too," Maura asked, "it's the one with the snowflake wrapping."

Returning to the couch, presents in hand, Jane handed one to Maura before sitting down with the snowflake box in her lap.

"You go first," Jane said, taking Luna from Maura's arms so she could open the gift bag. "It's not much, but-"

"Oh stop," Maura cut in, "it's from you. You should know by now that you could simply kiss me and say it was a gift and I'd be happy."

"Well in that case…" Jane reached to take the bag back. They both laughed as Maura shooed her away.

Carefully, Maura pulled the gift out of the bag and unwrapped the tissue paper.

"Oh Jane," she said and held up the item to get a better look. Resting in her palm was a small ornament with a photo of her, Jane and Luna, not too long after Lu was born. The script above it read, _Our first Christmas._ "I love it," she said and leaned over to kiss Jane's cheek.

"Maybe we can put that photo from last night in there instead," Jane suggested.

Maura nodded in agreement.

She got up and walked over to the tree, finding the perfect branch to hang it from. "It's perfect," she said quietly and returned to the couch. "Thank you."

"Your turn," Maura said excitedly and took Luna back from Jane's arms.

Jane pulled at the ribbon of the tiny gift and tore at the expertly wrapped paper to reveal a small box. Removing the cover, she looked down at the item, a little confused. She looked over at Maura, "You got me… my wedding band?"

Maura rolled her eyes and laughed. "Remember last week when I told you I was going to have our rings cleaned?"

Jane nodded.

"Well I lied… well, not really, I _did_ have them cleaned, but I had something else done, too." She reached over and held up the ring to Jane. "Look on the inside."

Jane did as she was told and noticed that there was writing on the inside. She held the band closer to her face and inspected it, twirling it slowly so she could read what it said: _I love you to the moon & back._

Jane smiled and tried to stop the tears she felt forming in her eyes. She looked over at Maura, who looked back at her, anxiously awaiting her reaction.

"Like the book," Jane said and Maura nodded.

One of the first books Jane and Maura had read to their daughter, in addition to _Stellaluna_ , was _Guess How Much I Love You._ They had always loved that last line, _I love you right up to the moon and back,_ even more so because of Luna's name.

"Maur," Jane said and leaned in close to her wife, "thank you. I love it… so much. I love _you_."

Maura smiled and reached out to help slide the ring onto Jane's finger.

"To the moon," Maura replied.


	14. Chapter 14

"Are you sure it's not selfish that we're doing this?" Maura asked, mid fold. She looked down at Lu who was sitting comfortably in her little support pillow in the center of her parents bed. Curious eyes glanced back and forth from one mama to the other. "Maybe we should stay home. I can still cancel—"

"Maura. Honey," Jane said and let the shirt in her hand drop into her suitcase so she could reach out. "Maur," she repeated with a squeeze to her wife's hand, making Maura look at her. "It's not selfish. Ok? We're just going for a few days. I know that seems like forever because we haven't left her for more than a few hours, but it's ok. She's gonna be with your mom the entire time and my ma is right out back if Constance wants or needs any help. Lu's gonna be just fine."

"I know." Maura bit her lip. "I just… I guess—"

Jane gasps in an exaggerated fashion. "You guess?!"

Maura rolled her eyes and let her arms hang limp.

"Right. Sorry, you were saying?"

"I feel guilty for leaving her because... well, I'm actually excited about leaving. Is that...does that make me…" she sighed again and looked down at her fidgeting hands.

"No," Jane answered firmly. Somehow knowing exactly what Maura meant. While Maura's confidence about motherhood had definitely gotten better over that past few months, she still had her moments of doubt. Like any mother, she felt like she could be better. She sometimes needed reassurance from Jane, which of course she never asked for. "Not at all, Maur. Wanting to get away for a few days does not make you a bad mother. Not. at. all."

"Come here," she said and moved her suitcase out of the way to sit down. Reaching out for Maura's hand once again, she led her over until Maura stood in front of her. She gently tugged at Maura's hips, encouraging her to sit next to her. She let her wife get comfortable before moving them just slightly so they could both look over at Lu, who was grinning and gurgling at her mamas.

"Who gets up every night, usually more than once, to feed her? And who makes sure the freezer is always stocked with like, a weeks worth of breast milk, even though she feeds her directly 90% of the time?" Jane asked and wrapped an arm around Maura.

"I do," Maura answered in a hushed tone.

"And who, without a second thought to getting baby spit up or other fluids on her fancy McQueen dresses, burps Luna? And changes her diapers?"

"I do," she answered again.

"And who, in the middle of the night, when Lu is fussy, sings lullabies until she falls back to sleep?"

The question pulls Maura's attention from Luna to Jane, eyes wide in embarrassment. "You know about that?"

Jane smiled at her and kissed her temple. "Mhmm. Baby monitor."

Maura felt her cheeks redden before looking back to her daughter.

"You didn't answer my question," Jane said. Her tone gentle.

"What? Oh… me."

" _And_ who buys only the best, organic, all-natural butt cream for this cutie's sensitive little tushie? Huh?"

Maura laughed out loud. "Me. But Jane, why are you asking me all of this? You obviously know all the answers." She turned her attention back to Jane, inspecting her face.

"I'm trying to make a point here. All the things I said and like, a million other things, are all the completely selfless acts you do for our daughter. Every. Single. Day. You do all those things, probably without even realizing, because you _love_ her. Because _you_ are a great mom."

She paused to wipe a single tear and cup Maura's face with her hands.

"And, even if going away for a few days is selfish, who cares. It's our anniversary and we deserve it. We're gonna need breaks sometimes so we stay sane. Between this little peanut, the lack of sleep, my nosey mother and our jobs… I think we can be selfish sometimes." She quickly laughed before continuing, "I can't believe _I'm_ the one saying all this. Usually you're the one who needs to talk me into taking time off or taking a break for my… what do you call it… my mental and physical well being."

Maura laughed and wrapped her arms around Jane in a warm embrace. "You're right." She kissed Jane's exposed collarbone. "Thank you."

"Of course."

"So," Jane said after a while, "how about we finish packing, make dinner and soak up four days worth of cute and snuggles with this adorable peanut?" she suggested and tickled Lu's tummy.

"That sounds perfect, Jane," Maura answered before standing up and returning to her suitcase.

"I hope you're not hiding any dildos in there," Jane said, pointing at Maura's bag, thinking about the embarrassing airport security incident from last year.

Maura's laughter filled the room before she answered, "Not this time. As much as I would love to resume those activities with said item, I don't think I'm quite ready for that just yet."

"And for that, oddly enough, I am grateful."

"I know you miss it," Maura said.

Jane shrugged her shoulder, "Sometimes. But if it means not getting stopped at the airport about it, I'm totally fine." She folds a pair of pants before adding, "And besides, whenever you're ready, I'm sure it will be well worth the wait... just like every other, uh, _activity_ we've resumed." She winked at Maura. Maura shook her head and laughed.

xxxx

The next morning, after a tearful goodbye, several reassurances from Constance and a promise to keep Jane and Maura updated, the couple made it on the plane headed for Maine. They had decided to keep their anniversary travels somewhat close in distance to Boston; somehow if made them feel less guilty about leaving their daughter.

After being seated, Jane rested her hand on Maura's thigh, giving her a comforting squeeze.

"No funny business this time," Maura replied and placed her own hand over Jane's.

"Aw, come on. No hidden—" she looked around before whispering, "—dildos _and_ no mile high?! Is this what happens when people become parents? Sex lives go out the window?"

Maura laughed and swatted Jane's hand away. "I'll make it up to you later," she purred. "... or if you'd rather, we can be like all those other parents and just not have sex the entire trip."

"Don't even joke about that, Maur."

"Then don't say we don't have a sex life! Ours is definitely above average."

"I know, I know."

"I really don't know how you managed all those _months_ we went without it at the end of my pregnancy and post-birth."

"Geez, you make me sound like a sex addict."

"Aren't you?"

"Ha. Ha. Ha."

After a comfortable silence, Jane leaned over and rested her head against Maura's shoulder, returning her hand once again to Maura's thigh.

"Not a sex addict," she whispered, "just addicted to _you_." After hearing how cheesy that sounded, she quickly added, "Gah, I'm sorry. That was bad."

A soft chuckle escaped Maura's lips before she gently kissed the top of Jane's head. "But true. I'm a little bit addicted to you, too."

"Well, you did say you love Italians."

xxxx

"I still can't believe we're _flying_ to Maine. We'd probably get there just as fast, quicker even, if we would've drove. Doesn't it seem a little counterproductive to be flying south to New Jersey just to get a flight directly to Maine?" Jane asked.

"You're right, it is a bit counterproductive. But there's snow in the forecast and I didn't feel like driving through it, did you?"

"No."

"Exactly."

Jane huffed in exaggerated annoyance. "Anyway… tell me about what you have planned. Where are we staying?"

Happy with the subject change, Maura answered: "Well, I booked us a private cottage at a beautiful resort and spa. I thought it would be nice to be able to enjoy some of the spa services, but still be able to escape to our own place. Excluded," her voice dropped, "just the two of us."

"Mmm, I like the sound of that."

xxxx

Arriving at their destination a few hours later, Jane was once again amazed at Maura's talent for planning the perfect getaways. She'll admit, she was a little hesitant when she heard it was a spa resort, but looking out at the view from their cozy, private cottage on the seaside, all hesitations went out the window.

Looking out, all Jane could see was blue. Blue sky, blue water. And a hot tub. She made a mental note to explore that later.

"Maur, it's beautiful," she called out and turned away from the window. She looked around the interior; a large fireplace and couch, a beautiful kitchen and master suite. She wasn't sure if she was more excited about the tub, shower or massive bed. Everything felt luxurious, yet warm and cozy and the same time. It was just what they needed.

"Comfy?" she asked with an amused laugh when she entered the bedroom to find Maura spread out on her stomach on the large bed.

"Mhmm," Maura answered, her voice muffled by a pillow.

Jane kicked off her shoes and joined her.

"I know there's so much we could be doing right now, but is it ok if we just take a short nap?" Maura asked.

"Aw, is mommy tired?"

Maura nodded. "Is that ok? If not we can—"

"Of course it's ok," Jane cut in and reached out to push Maura's hair out of her face. "Mama's tired too," she said with a smile. "But can we at least get under the covers first?"

Maura reluctantly got off of the bed and pulled back the covers while Jane stripped down to just her underwear and t-shirt, discarding her jeans and bra on the floor. Maura followed suit and slipped out of her pants before joining Jane beneath the covers.

"Roll over," Jane mumbled and Maura obliged, curling in on her side to allow Jane to snuggle up behind her. Jane wrapped a protective arm around her waist and kissed the back of Maura's neck before settling. They both hummed in satisfaction.

"Love you," Maura whispered before she drifted to sleep.

xxxx

A couple of hours later, or what Maura assumed was a couple hours, she woke up, momentarily confused by her surroundings. She smiled and let out a sigh of content when she felt Jane pull her closer. She took a moment to enjoy the sensation before rolling in the embrace to face her wife. It was then she noticed the window and the darkness of the sky. Her eyes widened, "What time is it?"

"A little after 6 PM," Jane answered.

"6 PM?!" We got here at…" she paused to think back and pushed herself up on her elbow, "oh my god, I slept for five hours?! Why didn't you wake me? That was only supposed to be a quick nap."

"Shh, " Jane hushed her and urged Maura to lay back down so she could nuzzle her head against her favorite pillow: Maura's chest. "I didn't wake you up 'cause I only just woke up about ten minutes ago. I guess we really needed the sleep."

"I'll admit, it did feel good to sleep that long without interruption. But now we'll never get to sleep tonight."

"Mmm, I can think of some activities to tire us out," Jane husked and gently nipped Maura's breast above the barrier of her shirt. Her hand slid up a bare thigh before resting low on Maura's abdomen.

"Jane," Maura breathed. Half a warning, half an invitation. It was then that her stomach growled and Jane could feel the rumbling beneath her fingertips. They both burst into laughter.

"Maybe we should feed you first," Jane said in amusement.

"That's probably a good idea," Maura agreed, although neither of them made an effort to move. Both content to be wrapped in each other's arms and warmth. "I need to pump, too, otherwise I'll be leaking all over the place."

Jane laughed and wiggled around a little bit to get comfortable again, pulling at Maura until she had both arms wrapped around her, one gently playing with Maura's hair as her wife rested her head against her chest.

"What would you like to do for dinner?" Maura asked, her words tickling Jane's clavicle. "We could go to the main resort area, there's a couple of restaurants in there… I feel a little guilty that we just spent most of the day sleeping."

"Don't," Jane quickly answered. "I don't. We clearly needed the rest," she reassured. "Hm… do they deliver food from the main resort?"

"I think so."

"Is that ok with you?"

Maura nodded against her.

"Good, because I really don't feel like getting ready to go out."

"I don't either," Maura replied. "I think I saw a menu on the counter in the kitchen. We can take a look at that."

"Perfect," Again, neither of them made a move to get out of bed. "Can we just stay like this for a little bit longer?" Jane asked, kissing the top of Maura's head.

"Of course," Maura answered and replied with a kiss of her own to Jane's chest. "It's pretty nice, isn't it? Just _being_. Here. Together."

"It is," Jane replied with a smile. "So, tell me what you have planned for us tomorrow."

"Well," Maura began and slipped one hand under Jane's T-shirt, letting her fingers explore the warm, smooth skin beneath her touch. Jane sighed at the contact. "We don't have anything in the morning. I figured we'd want to sleep in, but after that nap I doubt we'll be sleeping in too late."

"Unless I keep you up all night," Jane responds seductively and Maura laughs against her.

" _Anyway_ , I scheduled us a couples massage at noon."

"Ooh does it come with a happy ending?"

"A what?"

"Nevermind. Continue."

"And then after that I kept a couple hours open so we could each pick another service or two. I'll probably get a facial, which I think you'd also enjoy, unless of course you'd rather get your nails done," she teased and Jane pinched her side. "Or there's the sauna, a full body wrap or scrub."

Jane groaned.

"I'm sure we can find something you'll secretly enjoy."

"Fiiine."

Maura rolled her eyes.

"We'll have the rest of the day free until dinner. I made reservations at one of the restaurants that serves authentic Italian."

"You already have one of those," Jane said and rolled them over, playfully planting kisses down Maura's neck before bringing their lips together. "You'll have to tell me which tastes better."

"You. Definitely you."

Jane grinned at her and they were once again interrupted by the growling of stomachs.

"Come on," Jane said and pulled Maura out of bed, "let's go check out that menu."

xxxx

A short while later, after a light meal of salad and flatbread, Jane and Maura took to the couch to enjoy a glass of wine… or two. Maura indulged herself, knowing she didn't have to feed Lu for a couple of days.

"Mmm," she hummed after nearly every sip. "I forgot how much I love wine."

"Almost as much as you love me?"

"Almost," she answered with a smirk.

Jane set down her empty glass on the coffee table and glanced out at their private deck. Once again eying the hot tub. An image flashed through her mind. She turned her attention back to Maura.

Maura was caught off-guard by the dark lustful gaze that bore into her.

"What?" she asked and set down her glass, sensing that something was about to happen.

Jane stood up and offered her hands to help Maura up as well. She led them over to the sliding glass window and turned Maura so she was looking out at the dark night, but all she could see was their reflections. Maura watched in the glass before she felt Jane's arms slip around her, molding her body against her back.

"Let's get in the hot tub," Jane whispered against Maura's neck before placing gentle kisses along the exposed skin.

"It's two degrees out."

"Not in the _hot_ tub."

"It's…" Maura stumbled over her argument, distracted by hands on hips and the lips...no, tongue, on her neck. "... bacteria… disease…."

Jane nipped at her neck before saying, "It's... hot…. _wet_."

Maura couldn't help but let out a quiet moan, her body pushing back against Jane's. She gave one last attempt at declining the offer, "I don't... have... a swimsuit."

"Neither do I," Jane responded and slid open the door, stepping out into the freezing air. "Come on!" she said and ran over to the tub, pushing the protective cover off the top and turning it on. Steam rose and jets rumbled. "Please?" she asked and turned around to look at Maura who was shivering.

Jane quickly shed her pajama pants and and sweatshirt, standing out in the cold in just her underwear and bra before climbing into the steaming tub. "Ahh… _shit_." She shivered as she lowered herself down into the water. "Come on, Maur," she said once she was settled. "Come get hot and wet with me." She grinned.

With a moment of hesitation, Maura finally closed the sliding door, stripped down to her undergarments and joined Jane in the hot tub. Once her body was emerged in the water, she couldn't tell if she was shivering from the cold temp that still stung her face and neck, the hot water stinging the rest of her body, or the pang of arousal coursing through her limbs. Only Jane could get her to do something so crazy. And the wine. The wine definitely helped.

Sitting across from each other, watching their breath leave their mouths, Jane lifted her leg up and stretched it out until her toes tickled Maura's thigh. Maura did the same. They smiled at each other as they each took a few minutes to get used to the water.

"Come over here," Jane said, eager to get her hands on Maura. Wet bodies sliding against one another.

"I'm not having sex in a hot tub, Jane."

"Ok," Jane responded.

Maura rose an eyebrow.

"No sex in the hot tub," Jane said. "Kissing and touching isn't sex," she smirked.

"Be good," Maura said as she made her way to the other side, straddling Jane's waist.

"I'm always good."

Jane's hands wrapped around her wife, letting them slide across bare, wet skin before dragging one hand up to Maura's neck, pulling her in for a kiss. A little sloppy; very heated. Maura's left hand remained underwater, palming Jane's breast while her right reached behind and latched on to the back of her neck. She gasped when she felt both of Jane's hand slide lower and grip her ass, allowing Jane to glide her tongue into her mouth. Sloppier. Eager.

This continued on for some time until Maura felt herself building; her hips thrusting forward; the pressure from the jets hitting her just _so_ , not to mention Jane's mouth and hands all over her...headed lower. She was barely able to compose herself long enough to say, "No sex, Jane. Not…" she panted, chest heaving at the feeling of Jane's lips on her neck, "not in the hot tub."

"Ok," Jane husked and before Maura could even realize what was happening, Jane lifted her out of the water and not so gracefully perched her on side of the tub. Exposing everything from the top her head down to her shins to the cold night air. The quick change in position (and temperature) made her gasp and reach her arms back to steady herself on the wooden ledge that surrounded the deck. Jane steadied her footing in the tub before kneeling one leg on the seat so she could hold onto Maura, thankful for the support ledge her wife was leaning on.

"What are you-" Maura panted, her skin prickling with goosebumps.

"You said not _in_ the water, so…" she mumbled against Maura's collarbone and pressed her upper body against her wife's before slipping her hand beneath damp fabric, "not in the water," she got out before sliding her fingers into warmth.

"Jane! Oh my… _god_..." Maura gasped and slumped forward against Jane, one arm wrapping around her, the other gripping the ledge.

Jane smiled against her and continued her movements. Once Maura got over the initial surprise, she soon encouraged Jane with quick breaths and the occasional moan. Jane leaned up to nip at Maura's breasts, sucked gently over the soaked material of her bra before traveling lower, stopping every inch or so to make her mark. One last kiss to Maura's stomach before Jane straightened and brought their lips together in a hungry kiss. A few more thrusts and a string of expletives escaped Maura's lips, her body falling limp in pleasure nearly knocking them both into the tub. "Jane… that was… ohmygod," she panted heavily in her wife's ear. "That was… very clever of you," she said after catching her breath.

Ever proud, Jane grinned and nipped below Maura's ear. "So... anywhere else you'd like to _not_ have sex?"


	15. Chapter 15

"Oh god...oh... _fuck_ yes..." Jane whimpered, "oh yeah, right there... harder..."

"Jane."

"Mmm."

"Honey."

"So good."

"Jane!"

"What?" Jane groaned and reluctantly turned her head to the side to face Maura who was staring at her with a look of amusement on her face.

"You're being very vocal over there," Maura answered lazily.

"Because it feels sooooo good."

"Should I add Rita to the list of people you might leave me for? Right under santa?"

Jane laughed and craned her head to look back at Rita who was not so gently ridding her body of knots.

"No offense Rita, but I think I'd rather stick with the woman who makes my muscles ache," Jane replied with a wink. Rita shook her head, laughed and continued on with the massage.

"Jane!"

"It's true," Jane said and turned her attention back to Maura who was on the massage table next to her. She reached an arm out, prompting Maura to do the same, and squeezed her hand.

"I know I joke about how much I hate the spa, but this is perfect and just what we needed. Thank you."

"Of course." Maura smiled brightly.

With one more squeeze of the hand, Jane returned her head to rest in the face cushion. Maura did the same. "I love you," she mumbled.

"Love you, too. Happy anniversary."

xxxx

After their couple's massage, the duo parted ways to enjoy additional spa services. Maura ended up deciding on a full body wrap and scrub while Jane _willingly_ opted for a facial. As the clay mask was being slathered onto her face and neck, Jane let her mind wander. _Another year,_ she thought to herself and smiled.

Not even in her wildest dreams did Jane think she'd ever be so happy. Or married (to a woman!). Or a mommy (to the sweetest little baby on the planet). Or _so_ in love. Of course the couple had moments that rocked their marital bliss, but overall Jane was so stinkin' happy.

Three years. Seven if you include the two years of friendship ("unknowingly" dating) and the two years of _very_ knowingly dating. _Damn_ , she thought, _we were so clueless_. The sleepovers, the blatantly obvious flirting. The eye sex. And then it finally happened; that crystal clear realization that what they had extended way beyond a simple friendship.

It was the night of Jane's birthday [Hoyt's death] after that ridiculous and, under the circumstances, entirely inappropriate pony party, when everyone except Maura had finally left. Jane still regrets that it had taken something so horrible for them (Jane, mostly) to take the next step and admit the truth to one another.

Yet somehow, in that moment, Maura seemed to know. She had known that if they had crossed the line that night, from friends to lovers, it would forever be tainted by the enormity of what had happened that day, of what _could've_ happened. So instead of crossing the line, the two slipped beneath the covers of Jane's bed, clinging to each other until they fell into a restless sleep.

Later that night, Maura was pulled from slumber when she felt Jane quietly trembling behind her, tears tickling her neck. As she rolled onto her back to ask how she could make Jane feel better, Jane had shifted, propped herself up on an elbow and looked down at Maura. She gently reached out and traced her finger over the patch of white gauze on Maura's neck.

"I'm sorry," she had whispered before releasing a sob. "I'm so sorry," she kept repeating through her tears before Maura pulled her down against her, easing her to rest against her chest.

"Shh," Maura hushed quietly, her own tears spilling down her cheeks as she gently ran her fingers through Jane's hair. "It's just a cut, Jane. You saved us."

When Jane cried harder, Maura continued to whisper reassurances of: _It's okay. We're safe. I don't blame you. I love you,_ until her voice lulled Jane to sleep.

The next morning, Jane remembers waking up to the feeling of Maura's hands gently tucking her wild curls behind her ear before tracing her cheek and jaw with her fingertips. When Maura reached a particularly ticklish spot, just below her left ear, Jane couldn't help but squirm and let out a small laugh. She'll never forget the sight that greeted her when she finally opened her eyes. It remains as one of the most beautiful images in her memory.

Maura was resting on her side, just a few inches from Jane's face, staring back at her with understanding eyes and a genuine smile. The sun filtering in through the blinds highlighted her freckles and made her makeup-free skin glow.

"Good morning," Maura had whispered.

"Morning," Jane replied, her voice laced with sleep.

Maura continued to thread her fingers through Jane's hair, pausing occasionally to gently massage Jane's scalp. Jane couldn't help but let her eyes flicker shut; a small, barely audible hum of pleasure escaped her lips. She had almost fallen back to sleep when she felt Maura's hand wander down to gently rest over the matching white gauze. Jane opened her eyes and watched as Maura's drifted to where her thumb was carefully rubbing the exposed skin next to the bandage before returning her attention to Jane's gaze.

"We made it," Maura had whispered. "We're okay."

She smiled once again and shifted closer to the detective, moving her hand to Jane's jaw before leaning in and bringing their lips together in a soft, sweet kiss. When Jane had kissed back, Maura smiled against her lips, pulled back slightly and rested their foreheads together, careful to avoid the butterfly bandage on Jane's split skin. The action prompted the detective to loop an arm around Maura's waist, pull her close and readjust them so Maura was tucked beneath her chin. Petite arms wrapped around her as she gently pressed a kiss to the top of Maura's head. "I love you, too," she had whispered against golden waves.

Now, as the cucumber slices on her eyelids soaked up her tears, Jane couldn't help but smile, remembering the feeling of Maura's hands tightening on her back and the smile against her skin. The tears dampening her shirt. The distinct feeling of being loved.

xxxx

Later that evening, after reuniting for dinner, Jane and Maura were cozied up in a round booth at the Italian restaurant (which, they decided, didn't even come close to Angela's cooking), leisurely sipping champagne and nibbling at their dessert plate.

After an extended stretch of comfortable silence, Maura lifted her head from Jane's shoulder to look up and examine her wife's profile.

"Sweetheart," she said with a gentle poke to Jane's ribs, causing Jane to snap out of it.

"Huh?" Jane quickly asked as she faced her wife.

"What are you thinking about?" she repeated. "You were smiling and had a funny look on your face."

"I was thinking about the night we got engaged."

"Mmm," Maura hummed and resumed her position tucked against Jane's side, "one of my favorite memories."

"Mine too."

xxxx

_It was a typical Saturday night. The doctor and detective were snuggled up on the couch, eating thai food out of plastic containers, watching some foreign film. Well, Maura was watching the film, Jane was watching Maura. Completely entranced by the way her skilled hands maneuvered the set of chopsticks; the slope of her nose; the way her face lit up as she explained to Jane what was happening on screen; her laugh. God, her laugh._

_And just like that, it happened._

_"Marry me," Jane blurted out._

_Maura snapped her head to the side, nearly choking on the piece of broccoli in her mouth._

_"What?" she asked, her voice barely audible, eyes wide._

_"Marry me," Jane repeated with a huge grin on her face. Hopeful. She reached out to grab the container and chopsticks from Maura's hands and set them on the coffee table before cupping her girlfriend's (soon to be_ _fiancée's?!)_ _face._

_"Jane," Maura managed to exhale with a nervous laugh._

_"Maura Isles, will you marry me?"_

_Maura continued to stare, eyes wide, in shock. She shook her head in disbelief and Jane immediately panicked._

_"Oh my god," Jane pulled away. "I'm an idiot. It was too soon right? Shit, I shoulda waited..." she backtracked. "I had this whole fancy dinner thing planned next month... and... the ring! Oh my god, I'm an idiot..." she went to stand up from the couch when Maura finally snapped out of it and pulled her back down by the wrist._

_"Yes," she said with all the conviction in the world. Her face beaming as the realization quickly dawned on her. Her face was bright with happiness. "Yes, yes,_ yes _. Of course I'll marry you!"_

_"Really?"_

_"Yes!" Tears glistened in her eyes._

_Jane pulled them together so fast that they both laughed into the kiss._

" _We're getting married," Jane whispered against Maura's lips._

" _Yes," Maura whispered back, "we are." She tilted her head, brushing her nose against Jane's cheek before bringing their lips together. It didn't take long for her tongue to start exploring before Jane opened her mouth, welcoming her in._

" _Take your_ _fiancée_ _to bed," Maura purred between kisses._

xxxx

_Collapsing onto the bed, Maura's eager fingers tugged at Jane's belt while Jane's mouth was suctioned to her neck. When Jane felt hands on her zipper, she quickly pulled back._

" _Wait," she said breathlessly and moved her hips out of Maura's grasp._

_Maura whimpered and reached out._

" _Wait," she repeated and stood up, letting her pants drop to the floor before kicking them aside. "Your ring…" she trailed off and went over to her dresser._

_Giddy with excitement, Maura propped herself up on her elbows and watched Jane dig through the dresser drawer._

_Locating the velvet-lined box, Jane turned around and crawled onto the bed, hovering over her_ _fiancée (!) before leaning back and straddling her waist._

" _Give me your hand," she whispered and Maura, smiling wide, presented her left hand. Jane pulled the ring from the box and slowly, with shaking hands, slid the diamond onto Maura's finger. A perfect fit._

 _When she heard Maura gasp and breathe out,_ Jane _, she knew she'd done good._

" _It's beautiful," she said with tears in her eyes._

" _You like it?" Jane asked, even though she knew the answer._

 _Breaking her eyes away from the ring, Maura looked up at Jane and said: "I love it. Come here," she pulled Jane down for a kiss. "I love_ you _."_

_A few kisses later, Maura rolled them over and held out her hand to once admire the ring. "It matches your ring perfectly."_

_Jane's face wrinkled in confusion. "Wait, what?_ My _ring?"_

_Maura looked down at her, a smile spreading across her features. "You're not the only one who's been planning something."_

" _You were gonna propose?! But I'm the guy."_

_Maura rolled her eyes and laughed, "There is no guy, Jane. That's the point."_

" _True," Jane couldn't help but admit. "But really? You were planning on proposing to me?"_

" _Mhmm," Maura replied and sat back against Jane's waist, "next week, actually."_

" _Where? How?" Jane asked, sounding genuinely curious._

" _You really want to know?"_

" _Yes!"_

" _Well, you know how we're going to the Red Sox game next week?"_

_Jane nodded._

_Maura began unbuttoning Jane's shirt as she spoke, "I scheduled a private tour of the stadium after the game."_

_Jane rose an eyebrow as Maura slid her shirt off Jane's arms, leaving Jane exposed in a simple black bra._

" _I was planning on proposing to you on second base."_

" _Why second base?"_

_Maura grinned and seductively pulled her own shirt over her head._

" _I know it's your favorite base," Maura whispered as she directed Jane's hands to her breasts and squeezed._

_Jane laughed wholeheartedly at the baseball metaphor before flipping their positions._

" _I don't know," Jane husked in Maura's ear, her hand traveling down her torso as she kissed her neck, "I do enjoy sliding into third." Her fingers dipped beneath lace._

" _Mmm," Maura responded shifting her hips. "Maybe you should run the bases once more, just to make sure."_

_Jane's hand slipped back up to palm "second base" before bringing their lips together. "True," she said between kisses, "can't score a home run without covering all my bases."_

" _Don't strike out."_

xxxx

After dinner and reminiscing about their engagement, Maura and Jane returned to their cabin, changed into pajamas and climbed into bed. Resting back against the headboard, Jane positioned the tablet in her hands so they could both be in frame.

"Hello darling. Jane," Constance greeted them, her image a bit blurry as she walked into the living room. "Happy anniversary, you two."

"Thanks Constance," Jane replied.

"How is everything going over there?" Maura asked, "Is Lu doing alright?"

Constance smiled, "Yes dear, she's wonderful. Would you like to see her?"

Maura bit her lip and nodded. She felt a little silly Skyping her mother and daughter while on an anniversary trip with her wife. Luckily, Jane felt the same need to check in and see their daughter's face.

"Ok, let me just…" Constance trailed off as she disappeared from the screen's view. "There she is. Say hi to your mamas."

On the tablet screen was a slightly pixelated (yet still adorable) view of their daughter laying on top of a polka dot blanket.

"Hi sweetheart," Maura cooed and touched the screen. Jane grinned next to her. Luna was completely oblivious to her gushing parents.

"Mo?" Jane and Maura exchanged looks when they heard the faint voice in the background. "Come here, darling," they heard Constance say.

The screen quickly changed from a view of their daughter to an excited TJ, who shakily held the phone in his hands.

"Aunt Momo and Jane!" the toddler yelled excitedly. "Hi!"

"Hey TJ," Jane replied, "What are you doing at our house?"

"Happy new year party!" he yelled and passed the phone back to Constance.

"Hi," she said, "sorry about that."

"What's TJ doing there, mom?" Maura asked.

"Well, Angela was supposed to watch him so Tommy and Lydia could go out, but then Vince invited her to the BPD new year's eve party, so I offered to help."

"You didn't have to do that," Jane said.

"I know," Constance replied, "but since I was already watching Lu, I figured we could use the company. We're just having a little party of our own. TJ has been dancing nonstop to the performances on TV. You should've see him during _Let It Go_ ," she said with a laugh. "Anyway, how's your trip?"

"It's been very relaxing," Maura said.

"Yeah, it's been great," Jane added, "just what we needed."

"I'm glad to hear it."

"Well, we should probably let you get back to your party," Jane said with a laugh after hearing TJ jabbering in the background. "Happy new year."

"Same to you. Happy anniversary!"

"Thanks mom. See you in a couple of days."

Constance flipped her phone around and TJ helped Lu wave goodbye before they ended the call.

Setting the tablet aside, Jane grinned over at Maura.

"Now," she said flicking off the lights, "how about a run of the bases for old times' sake?"

"Jane," Maura giggled into the darkness as Jane pulled the covers over their heads and tickled Maura's side. "No tickling in baseball!"


	16. Chapter 16

When Maura awoke the next morning, she was cold. Naked and cold; a sensation she did not particularly enjoy. In an effort to warm herself with her favorite source of heat, she rolled over expecting to find her wife. The doctor frowned when her fingers were met with cool sheets.

Reluctantly Maura opened her eyes, squinting against the bright sun filtering in through the blinds. She let out an annoyed huff of air; it was the first day of the new year and she wanted to start it off right. Wiping the sleep from her eyes, she sat up on the edge of the bed and listened to the sounds coming from the small cottage kitchen. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee surrounded her, forcing a smile onto her face. For a minute she considered slipping back beneath the covers to let Jane surprise her with breakfast in bed, but the ache forming deep in her belly had other plans.

The new mom slid her wife's white dress shirt over her shoulders, secured a few buttons, tugged on a pair of underwear and tiptoed down the hall.

Successfully making it to the kitchen without alerting Jane of her presence, Maura took a moment to appreciate the view of her detective standing in black briefs and her grey, well worn BPD shirt. Maura licked her lips as the curves of Jane's backside wiggled slightly as she stirred whatever it was she was stirring.

Quietly, Maura snuck up behind her wife and pressed her body flush against her, wrapping arms around a small waist.

"Jesus!" Jane jumped, letting a shaky laugh escape her lips, "you scared me."

Maura's hands came to rest on Jane's stomach, hugging her close. "Sorry," she whispered and placed a kiss between Jane's shoulder blades. "I'll have to make it up to you somehow." Her hands roamed upward under cotton, resting just below the detective's breasts. Goosebumps tickled her skin.

Jane, to her credit, managed to hold in a gasp and continued to stir bananas into the pancake batter; a futile attempt at distracting herself from the, well, distraction.

Maura's hands crept higher, cupping the aroused flesh, enjoying the noise that escaped Jane's lips before sliding them back down to hug her waist. She kissed between shoulder blades once more and turned her head to rest a cheek against the same spot. Closing her eyes, she hummed in content; her plan of seduction momentarily on hold in order to savor the position of comfort. The doctor continued to hold on as Jane resumed her breakfast routine. Although surprised by Maura's sudden halt in action, she smiled at the sensation of her wife snuggled up behind her.

They continued on like this, moving as one unit as Jane busied herself around the small kitchen. Coming once again to rest at the counter near the stove, Maura let out an, "Mmm," and squeezed tighter. "I forgot how nice it is to hold you like this," she murmured. "No giant belly in the way, keeping me from you."

Jane laughed. "You would get so upset about that; not being able to get closer."

"Of course I did. Who wouldn't want to get close to this?" she playfully responded and momentarily broke their embrace to give Jane's ass a quick squeeze.

"That sounds like something I would say," Jane replied as Maura brought their bodies together once more. "I'm a bad influence," she teased.

"Hm," Maura hummed and gently thrusted her hips forward, "that's what couples do…" she stood on her tiptoes to croon in Jane's ear, "...teach each other things." She paused. "The way you touched me last night… the way you made me feel, is a testament to that."

Jane groaned. "Yeah? Well I had a pretty great teacher," Jane flirted back, pressing her ass against Maura's hips.

Maura sighed, remembering the reason she came out here in the first place. "If you come back to bed, I think I could teach you a few more techniques."

Jane almost gave in as Maura's wandering hands trailed down her thighs. "I-I'm trying to be romantic here and make you breakfast in bed."

Maura smirked, already pleased with her next statement before it left her lips: "And I'm trying to be romantic here and make _you_ breakfast in bed, if you know what I mean."

"Jesus," Jane exhaled, her body twitching as her wife's hand skimmed over her underwear.

"But, if you'd prefer I eat pancakes, I suppose that'll have to do," Maura replied confidently and stepped away from Jane, retreating slowly to the bedroom.

Jane was still trying to control her breathing when Maura had made it halfway down the hall. Finally looking up, she saw Maura smirking at her over her shoulder and took notice of the white dress shirt. _Her_ white dress shirt… let's just say pancakes have never been forgotten so quickly.

Jane ran after a giggling Maura who let out a surprised yelp when Jane caught up to her and collided roughly with her backside.

" _Jane_ ," she exhaled as strong hands wrapped around her and steered her towards the bed. The front of her thighs met the foot of the mattress and she jutted her hips back, resisting Jane's attempt at pushing her onto it. Maura wanted control. Sensing this, Jane relaxed against her and began kissing Maura's neck, pausing to suck eagerly at her pulse point. She wasn't relenting her power that easily; it was too much fun making Maura work for it; watching her struggle to stay focused.

Maura's head fell back against Jane's shoulder, whimpering as Jane's lips traveled to the spot on her neck that never failed to turn her into putty; she stumbled as teeth gently brushed across the throbbing skin.

After allowing herself a moment to indulge in the pleasure, Maura brought her hands up to rest over Jane's and guided them low on her stomach. When she felt composed enough to speak, she asked: "Do you remember the first time you held me like this?"

Jane's lips and teeth continued to tease her.

"We… were at Giovanni's…"

"El-biffs," Jane replied, moving her lips to Maura's ear.

"Mm, god…" _focus Maura_ , "you held me just like this and when you thought he was done looking, you let go. Almost pushed me away, but then… _oh…_ then he turned around quickly and you grabbed me," she tightened her grip over Jane's hands and matched her words: "and roughly pulled me against you, hands low on my stomach."

Jane couldn't help but thrust forward, causing them both to grunt at the friction.

"And then," Maura continued, "you leaned in and whispered, _oh babe_."

"Oh, babe," Jane repeated hotly against Maura's ear. The doctor turned in their embrace and rotated them until it was Jane's thighs that pressed against the bed.

"I wanted you then," she said, eyes dark. "And I want you _now_ ," she finished her sentence with a gentle push to Jane's shoulders. "Get on the bed, Jane. And take off your shirt."

 _Fuck_. Jane thought as she obeyed her wife. She loved when Maura was like this. _So. Fucking. Sexy._ But even so, she couldn't help but throw in some humor as Maura watched her from the foot of the bed.

"So, you _did_ want to sleep with me?"

Maura tried, but failed not to smile. "I never did answer that question."

"God, I'm an idiot. I coulda had you then; all those years ago."

Maura shrugged and slowly began to unbutton her shirt, revealing a narrow path of pale skin. "You have me now," she replied in a seductive tone and climbed onto the mattress, crawling until she hovered over her wife. Jane licked her lips as hints of Maura's curves were exposed with each movement.

"But first," Maura said and lowered herself onto Jane, straddling her thighs, "I'm going to have _you_." The doctor leaned down to press her lips to the spot below Jane's ear. "Every," soft lips traveled lower, "single," a tongue peaked out to glide over a tan neck, "inch of you," Maura finished in a whisper against warm skin and brought their mouths together in a hungry greeting as she swallowed Jane's moan.

Eager tongues slid against each other as the fire between them built. Out of breath, Maura pulled back; her teeth scraping along Jane's bottom lip before releasing it with a quiet _plop_. She continued her descent, pressing wet and swollen lips to Jane's jaw, the dip at the end of her neck, along her collarbone and down until she reached that one little mole between Jane's breasts. She kissed it gently before resting her cheek against the same spot. Her breasts pressed against Jane's abdomen and she smiled when she heard Jane gasp at the sensation of skin on skin. Even with arousal coursing through their veins, it didn't stop them from enjoying the intimacy of the moment with Maura resting in child's pose against her wife, listening to her hurried heartbeat. Jane took the opportunity to slide one hand down to Maura's arm, rubbing gently over the dress shirt. The other, tangled in her hair.

After a while, Maura resumed her playfulness by circling her fingertip around dark skin, blowing gently; watching in awe as aroused flesh hardened and goosebumps prickled Jane's skin.

The detective arched her back, craving more contact. Maura obliged, taking the nub into her mouth, tongue swirling. She bit gently, pulling a whimper from her wife's mouth. She moved on, revisiting the perfectly placed mole before repeating her actions on the other breast.

As she continued south, Maura stopped when she reached scar tissue and took a moment to slide her fingers over the warm skin.

"What if I had said yes?" she asked as her lips reached inner thighs.

"Wh...What?" Jane panted.

"When you asked if I wanted to sleep with you, what if I had said yes?" She hooked her fingers in black lace. "Would you have done me then and there? In the backseat of that ridiculous looking car. Or maybe," she began to pull the damp material down smooth legs, "maybe you would've told Giovanni to get lost and we'd have a little fun in the shop." Maura continued the fantasy as she tossed the lace to the floor, repositioning herself between Jane's legs. She kissed each knee before pressing them flat against the mattress, leaving her wife on full display.

They made eye contact as Maura's hands slid up muscular thighs. Jane's breath was ragged.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Maura asked, crawling back up Jane's body, unable to resist bringing their mouths together once more. Jane clung to her eagerly and pushed the shirt down her arms. Maura tossed it aside.

"Keep talking," Jane whispered, her voice like gravel. Maura smirked into the kiss before skimming lips over cheekbones, pausing near her ear, she continued: "You do look pretty sexy in an auto mechanic's uniform, a little dirty and covered in grime," she rolled her hips. "And I saw how you looked at me during the car bomb case. You would've had your way with me if we had been alone. Am I right?" Soft lips traveled lower, pausing to run her tongue over Jane's neck. "You'd like pressing me up against the side of the car… or maybe the hood."

"Fuck, Maura." Jane's entire body was vibrating with anticipation. She needed Maura and she needed her _now_. She pushed down on pale shoulders, urging her wife to the spot that craved the most attention. Maura let her; slowly sliding down her body, the heady scent of Jane's arousal filling the air.

"Mm, that's right Jane. You'd _fuck_ me from behind. Rough. Primal. Gentle when you wanted to be. I'd be begging you not to stop. Screaming out your name as I came," she whispered below a bellybutton. "You'd collapse against me, panting heavily in my ear…"

"But enough about cars," her voice poured out like honey, "this is about breakfast, isn't it?" And before Jane could even process the words, warm lips claimed her, propelling her hips up against her wife's mouth. Eager for more.

"Jesus…" she was throbbing as Maura's skilled tongue slid across her in all the right places. Between Maura's dirty talk and the sensation building between her legs, release would not take long.

Maura had just added a finger when the chime of her ringtone startled them both. Maura stilled her actions.

"No. Nono-no, don't stop," Jane's hand tightened in Maura's hair, the other fisting at sheets, her voice frantic, "please… don't stop…oh god..."

The phone silenced and Maura resumed her actions, bringing Jane closer and closer….

Strong thighs pressed against Maura's ears and a strangled cry filled the room, her mouth greeted with new arousal. Jane saw stars. Expletives poured from her mouth as she reached her high. Her body quivered before collapsing, boneless, onto the mattress.

Maura's lips placed a gentle kiss over the throbbing, sensitive skin before crawling up her lover's body. Jane opened her eyes just in time to watch Maura lick her lips, savoring the taste. Jane pulled her down roughly to share a heated kiss.

In a panting breath, her voice hoarse, Jane said: "Damn you are good at that," she rolled them, pinning Maura beneath her, "God do I love your mouth... your dirty _fucking_ mouth." Maura whimpered, arousal pooling beneath her legs.

The phone pinged with a voicemail notification.

"Mmpf," Maura almost cried.

Without removing herself from her wife's body, Jane reached out for the phone and handed it to Maura. As Maura listened to the message, Jane's lips latched on to her neck, sucking… biting… soothing with her tongue. She didn't stop until Maura started to sit up, her body tensing.

"Maur? Who was it?"

Maura tilted her head to look at her, face showing concern. "My mom."

Jane's heart stopped. "Is everything ok?"

"It's Lu."


	17. Chapter 17

_Without removing herself from her wife's body, Jane reached out for the phone and handed it to Maura. As Maura listened to the message, Jane's lips latched on to her neck, sucking… biting… soothing with her tongue. She didn't stop until Maura started to sit up, her body tensing._

" _Maur? Who was it?"_

_Maura tilted her head to look at her, face showing concern. "My mom."_

_Jane's heart stopped. "Is everything ok?"_

" _It's Lu."_

xxxx

"Put it on speaker," Jane said quickly as she sat up and pulled a t-shirt over her head.

With shaking hands, Maura pressed the button and let the phone drop onto the mattress.

_Good morning, darling. I hope I'm not waking you and Jane. I just wanted to let you know that I'm at the doctor right now with Lu- don't worry, everything is alright. Lu was being unusually fussy at bedtime and was up most of the night and this morning she felt warm to the touch. The doctor thinks it just a cold, most likely passed along from TJ, but I wanted to make sure it wasn't the flu or an ear infection. Call me back when you can, otherwise I'll see you both tomorrow._

xxxx

"I think I overreacted," Maura said as she and Jane each took a seat in the terminal.

" _I_ think we're new parents of a baby who's sick for the first time and we want to be there with her even if there's nothing we can do to make it better," Jane replied, taking a sip of her overpriced airport coffee. "I think overreacting is in the new mom job description."

After receiving the call from Constance, Maura was quick to book the next flight out of Maine and cut their getaway short. In hindsight, it was a bit over the top, but like Jane had said, she was a new mom and her baby was sick. How could she have reacted in any other way?

Maura sighed. "Are you sure you're not mad?" she asked cautiously.

"For the hundredth time, no," Jane answered. "I want to be home with her just as much as you do. I know she's in good hands, but it's scary as shit not being there with her… oh my god… I'm turning into my mother."

Maura laughed and squeezed her wife's hand.

"And besides," Jane continued, "we're only cutting our trip a day short. We still managed to have our new year's day tradition of breakfast… or, breakfasts _plural_ for you," she teased, "and we had time to go over our resolutions from last year, write down our news ones. I'd say it was a pretty successful trip, even if it was cut short."

Maura smiled. "You're right. Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being you… for loving me."

Jane grinned and wrapped her arm around Maura's shoulders. "It's hard not to," she replied and kissed her wife's temple.

xxxx

A few hours later, after an uneventful plane ride and an hour too long stuck in traffic, Jane and Maura finally made it home. Both surprised when they entered a completely quiet house.

Looking down at her watch, Jane noted it was just after seven o'clock, which seemed way too early for bedtime. Then again, Constance _was_ dealing with a sick baby.

Dropping their bags in the front hall, both women went to wash their hands before ascending the stairs in search for their daughter. Both eager to put their eyes and hands on her.

After finding their bedroom and nursery empty, the two ended up in the doorway of guest room turned playroom.

"Damn, I'm glad we changed the sheets before we left," Jane said as she took in the sight before her.

"Jane," Maura laughed and shook her head.

There on the mattress inside the fort was Constance, sound asleep with Luna laying next her; a safe distance between them with a protective hand over Lu's tummy. Next to them, a discarded pile of books and little TJ, snuggled up behind Constance's curled legs, thumb in his mouth.

The humidifier hummed in the corner.

"I'm surprised TJ is still here," Jane whispered as the two made their way into the room.

"Me too," Maura agreed, "I thought for sure she would've had Angela take him, especially after going to the doctor."

Settling onto the edge of the bed, the two watched Luna's chest rise and fall. Maura reached out to gently to stroke her daughter's tiny foot, unable to resist the urge to feel her. As if sensing her mama's presence, Lu began to wiggle; a small cough escaping her lips.

"Hello my darling," Maura cooed as she eagerly scooped up her daughter, holding her close. The fussy infant squirmed a bit, her fisted hands coming up to her face before slowly opening her eyes. Both mamas smiled as she looked up at them. Another cough and a sniffle caused Jane and Maura to frown. "Oh sweetheart," Maura said to her baby before turning her attention to Jane. "I don't like this," she said.

"I don't either," Jane agreed and wrapped one arm around Maura's waist, resting her chin on her shoulder as they both looked down at Lu. "But she's ok," Jane said, reaching out to rub her thumb over her daughter's cheek.

They stayed like that for a little while longer until Luna's fussy whimpers turned into hungry cries, prompting Maura to lift her shirt to allow her daughter to latch on. "There we go," she whispered.

"I'm gonna go grab our bags," Jane replied, kissing Maura on the cheek. "I'll be right back."

xxxx

Jane did more than just grab their bags; she put their dirty clothes in the laundry (and actually started the machine!), unpacked and put away their toiletries and changed into pajamas. By the time she made it back to the playroom/guest room/fort room, Maura was slumped against the wall, asleep. _There goes my plan of getting rewarded for my domestic duties,_ she thought with a laugh. Smiling, she moved to the nursery to grab the bassinet that Lu no longer slept in. Except for tonight. Tonight it would feel wrong to sleep away from her.

Jane sat the sleeper down next to the fort and gently extracts Luna from Maura's arms. "Goodnight, Lulu," she whispered with a kiss before placing her in the bassinet. "I love you, peanut."

Taking a moment to enjoy the sight before her, she laughed quietly and shook her head. Never in a million years did she think she'd be going to bed before 8:00 pm in the _same bed_ as her wife, mother-in-law, nephew, and her daughter in a sleeper next to them.

Jane climbed beneath the covers and reluctantly reached out to wake Maura, knowing she'd be upset if she slept in that position all night. Nudging her gently, Maura's head shot up in surprise.

"Sorry," Jane whispered and reached out to pull Maura's shirt down. "I didn't want you to wake up with a kink in your neck."

Maura looked around, remembering where she was. "What time is it?"

"Not even 8 pm," Jane said in an amused tone.

Maura glanced over at her mother, "Should we wake her?"

"Nah, you told her we were coming back tonight, right?"

Maura nodded before yawning.

Jane smiled and pulled Maura down the bed to lay next to her. "Good, then she won't be too surprised to find us in bed with her in the morning."

Maura giggled and snuggled up against her wife. Jane's soothing hand on her arm quickly lulled her back to sleep. Jane was almost asleep herself when a messy blonde head of hair popped up.

"Jane?" TJ said sleepily, looking confused.

"Hey buddy," Jane replied with a smile.

"You weren't here before I go to sleep," he said, still confused.

"You're right, I wasn't," she whispered.

"Where'd you go?" he asked as he climbed over Constance's legs.

"Momo and I went on vacation for a few days."

"What's a 'cation?"

"It's...um, it's when you go away for a few days to a place that's not your house," she explained, hoping it would make sense in the toddler's mind.

TJ was quiet for a moment, thinking.

"I was at you and mo's house for two sleeps, am I on a 'cation right now?

Jane smiled at him, "yeah, I guess you are."

TJ grinned. "But you and Mo's not on a 'cation anymore?"

"Nope, not anymore. We came back home because Lulu's sick."

The toddler frowned.

"What's wrong?" Jane asked, sitting up a little, careful not to disturb Maura.

"Are you and Momo mad at me?" he asked sadly.

"What?" Jane shook her head in confusion. "Of course not, why would we be mad at you? Come here," she said and patted the space next to her. TJ was hesitant before climbing over Maura's legs and nuzzled up against Jane's left side.

Jane stroked his hair before asking, "why do you think we're mad at you?"

"'cuz I got Lulu sick," he whispered against her chest.

"Oh TJ, honey. It's not your fault."

"Uh-huh," he replied, "that's what Moma said at the doctor's."

Jane had to hold back a laugh, she still couldn't get over the new nickname for Constance. She's not even sure who came up with it, but since Constance had been a tricky word for TJ to get right, he now called her "moma," as in Mo's ma. _This kid_. She smiled.

Jane hugged the little boy tighter, "I don't think Moma said it was your fault."

"Uh-huh," TJ whined, "'cuz my nose was stuffy."

_How do I explain this?_

"Well maybe some of your stuffy nose germs got on Lu when you were playing, but that doesn't mean it's your fault, buddy. Babies pick up a lot more germs than big kids like you because their system isn't strong enough to fight off the sick germs."

"Like a superhero?"

Jane laughed. "Yes, exactly like a superhero. Lu's little superhero still needs practice fighting of the evil germies," she answered and tickled the boy's side.

He giggled loudly and squirmed around.

"Shh, you don't wanna wake up Momo!" she whispered. "She'll turn into a scary monster if you do!"

"No she won't!" TJ giggled and relaxed back against Jane. "'sides, I'm a superhero. If she's a monster, I'll protect us."

"Yes you will," Jane replied, kissing the top of his head.

Even though Jane never imagined she'd be sharing a bed with her mother-in-law, wife and nephew, in this moment there was nowhere else she'd rather be.


	18. Chapter 18

The next morning, Maura awoke to a tickling sensation on her cheek. Slowly opening her eyes, she let out a puff of laughter as a small foot came into view. During the night, TJ somehow managed to rotate so that his head was resting near Maura's hip, one foot on each of his aunt's cheeks.

Maura gently ran her finger along the top of his toes, causing the toddler to squirm and roll over to the other side; his body curling around Jane, both feet in her face. The brunette didn't even stir.

The doctor gasped in surprise at the laughter sounding from her right side and she quickly turned her head, bringing a hand to her chest.

"Oh," she sighed in relief when she saw Constance sitting up next to her, "you scared me."

"Sorry," her mother whispered and reached out to tuck a stray golden blonde strand out of her daughter's face. The gesture, while pleasant, felt so out of character to Maura. Even so, she certainly wasn't complaining.

"I thought for sure we would've been the ones to scare _you_ this morning," Maura replied as her mother pulled back her hand.

"I'll admit, when I woke up it was surprising to see you both in here," she replied. "But then again, you _did_ tell me you were coming home. Speaking of, what time did you get in last night?"

"A little after seven," Maura answered, "all three of you were already asleep."

"We had a very long day," and before she could continue with an explanation, Luna's cough, followed by the soft gurgling beginnings of a cry interrupted her.

Maura made a move to get out of bed, but Constance stopped her. "I'll get her," she said and crawled out of the fort. A sight Maura never thought she'd see.

"But-" she began.

"Try to sleep for a little while longer," her mother insisted, "it's still quite early."

Not one to argue, Maura smiled and laid back down, watching as her mother and daughter exited the room. She ignored the unnamable feeling creeping through her gut… after all, she never did like to listen to her intestines. Luckily for her, a quiet voice pulled her from her thoughts.

"Hi Momo," TJ's sleepy voice greeted her.

"Hi sweetheart," she replied, smiling down at the boy who has turned back to his left side. "Come up here," she said and opened her arms, "give me some morning snuggles."

The toddler happily crawled next to her, letting his aunt's arms wrap around him in a warm hug.

"Mwah, mwah, mw-ah," Maura accentuated each kiss to the little boy's head, causing him to giggle against her. He settled his head on her shoulder and snuggled in as close as possible.

"You're da bestest hugger ever," he said, his voice tickling Maura's skin.

"So are you," Maura replied and began to rub the boy's back.

"We da bestest together!" he giggled.

"Yes we are." Maura smiled, enjoying the moment. "Did you have a nice time with Moma?"

"Mhmm," he mumbled.

"She said you had a party to celebrate New Year's Eve? Lucky you!" she said with excitement in her voice.

"Uh-huh!" he replied, equally as excited. "I helped make cookies and we saw da sparkly ball on TV and da Frozen song was on!"

"Did you watch the movie, too?"

"Yup!"

"Did you know aunt Jane and I almost named Lulu, Elsa?"

TJ giggled. "That's silly."

"And your name was going to be Olaf," she teased.

"Nuh-uh," he giggled again, louder this time.

Maura glanced over at Jane who had just rolled onto her side.

"Shh, sweetheart. We don't want to wake up Jane."

"Does she turn into a monster like you?"

"A monster?"

"Jane said you turn into a monster if you gets waked up."

"Oh she did, did she?" her voice playful.

"Uh-huh," he grins, "a scary monster."

She looked at Jane again and noticed a smile spreading across her face as she tried to feign sleep.

"I don't know about a scary monster," Maura whispered to TJ, "tickle monster, maybe." She watched Jane's smile disappear.

TJ sat up, eyes wide and bright. Maura joined him and wiggled her fingers, prompting him to do the same. "One…two… three!" she yelled and the two began tickling Jane's stomach, TJ went for her neck.

All three of them were laughing and Jane was squirming around yelling, "Alright, alright! You got me! I'm up… stop! Please!"

They collapsed into a heap of limbs and giggles with TJ sandwiched between his aunts.

After catching her breath from laughter, Maua said: "TJ was just telling me about all the fun he had with Moma," she explained to Jane.

"Oh really?"

"Mhmm. I helped make cookies and watch the sparkly ball on TV and watched Frozen and danced with Lulu."

"That's it?" Jane teased.

"Noooo," the little boy exaggerated. "We had waffles in the mornin' and then Moma tooked us to the doctor 'cause Lulu was sick."

"I bet that was scary," Jane says.

TJ shrugged his shoulders against them. "Nah. I held Lulu's hand the whole time."

Maura smiled. "That was very nice of you, sweetheart. You're such a good protector, just like Jane," she said and looked over at her wife.

The boy grinned at the compliment. "Moma said Lulu got sick from me 'cause I was coughin', but Jane said it's 'cause Lu's little superhero is too small to fight the bad germies. But because I'm a big kid, my superhero is bigger and stronger and fights all the sicky germies!"

"Well, I'm not quite sure that's exactly how it works," Maura said, but forgoes an actual explanation, "but that's pretty close."

"Thanks for protecting Lu for us while we were gone, buddy," Jane said, "you did a good job."

"Welcome," the boy replied casually. A minute later, his stomach growled loudly.

"Did the monster move to your tummy?" Maura asked, playfully poking TJ's side.

"Why don't you go downstairs and ask grandma to get you some cereal," Jane suggested, causing the little boy to crawl out of the fort.

"You coming too?" he asked his aunts.

"We'll be right down," Jane answered and TJ skipped out of the room. She waited until he was out of view before rolling over and pulling Maura flush against her, "but first I need some of those morning snuggles."

"Mmm," the doctor replied as her wife's arms wrapped around her. "Good morning," she mumbled against olive skin.

"Morning," Jane replied, kissing Maura's temple. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but you two are very adorable together."

Maura pulled back, eyeing her suspiciously. "You were awake the entire time, weren't you?"

Jane shrugged. "It was kinda hard to sleep with stinky toddler feet in my face."

They both laughed and settled further against each other.

"Jane," Maura sighed as a hand crept up her thigh and slipped beneath the hem of her pants to palm her ass. "What are you doing?"

"Morning snuggles," Jane husked, dropping her head to pull an earlobe into her mouth as her hands wandered.

"We… we can't," Maura whimpered, "my mom… TJ… are right downstairs."

Jane halted her actions, groaning.

"Later," Maura assured her and placed a chaste kiss on Jane's lips. "Come on," she said and crawled out of bed, pulling a pouty Jane with her.

They paused in the doorway and Maura wrapped her arms around Jane's neck, guiding her down for a slow, explorative kiss. "Tonight," she said in a low voice, "after we put Lu to bed, I'm all yours."

"Promise?"

"Promise," she said with one quick kiss.

As they reached the top of the stairs, Maura stopped. "I'm going to go wash my face and change into something more comfortable," she said, gesturing to her outfit. " _Somebody_ let me fall asleep in my travel clothes last night."

Jane held up her hands in defense. "Wasn't me," she mumbled and headed down the staircase.

xxxx

A short while later, Maura made her way to enter the kitchen, but stopped dead in her tracks at the sight in front of her: Constance, her mother, _her_ mother was dancing around the kitchen with a baby on her hip, a spatula in her hand and a giggly toddler at her feet.

Jane was sitting on a stool, watching the scene with a smile on her face.

Maura should've been smiling, too. She should've shuffled into the room and taken a seat next to her wife and enjoyed the beautiful morning with her family, but there it was again… that feeling from earlier. Louder this time. Stronger.

Constance turned and spotted her daughter. "Good morning, dear." She smiled.

Maura did not.

"Darling?" Constance asked when her daughter remained still and silent.

Jane turned her head just in time to watch Maura say: "I…," her voice cracked, "excuse me." She turned and headed for the stairs.

The detective and her mother-in-law share a concerned look before Jane slid out of her chair and followed her wife.

"Maura?" Jane called when she reached the top of the stairs.

It didn't take long to find her wife pacing back and forth in the nursery.

"Honey?" she asked, stepping into the room. Concern growing with each heartbeat.

Maura turned to look at her, tears running down her face.

"Hey. What's wrong?" Jane asked, stepping directly in front of her wife. She had no idea what was wrong. Less than an hour ago they were smiling and laughing, making promises for later that evening… what happened?

"She-" is all Maura could get out before a sob escaped, causing her shoulders to shake.

"Maura," Jane whispered as her wife collapsed against her in a desperate embrace. "You're scaring me, sweetheart. What's the matter?"

Maura took a few gulps of air, her words hot and quick against Jane's chest: "My mother, she's so… with Luna and TJ… she's…"

Jane encouraged her with a soothing rub to her back.

"... she's so good at it."

"At what?"

"Being a grandma… a _mother_ ," she whispered. "It comes so naturally…why...why couldn't she have been that way with me?"

"Oh, Maur," Jane sighed; heart breaking at the words.

"Why?" she asked again in defeat. "Why couldn't she have been the mother to me that she is to our daughter? Our nephew?"

Jane squeezed tighter. What could Jane say?

A knock on the doorframe interrupted them and Maura quickly pulled away from Jane, wiping her eyes when she heard her mother's voice.

"Jane?" the older woman said as she entered the room with Luna in her arms. "Could you give us a minute, please?"

Jane looked at Maura who nodded her head before taking Luna from Constance's arms and exited the room.

"Darling," Constance said, hesitantly stepping closer to her daughter. "I'm so sorry."

Before Maura could ask, her mother explained that she had left the baby monitor on in the kitchen from when Luna had a nap yesterday. She pointed to the second monitor near the crib.

"Oh," Maura replied.

"I should've turned it off as soon as I heard your voice come through, but…" she shook her head. "You're right and I'm so sorry." Constance moved toward her daughter with open arms; Maura fell into them immediately.

"Why?" Maura asked after a while. "I thought...I thought that maybe you'd been bad at it or just weren't interested in being a mother, but then… when I see with my daughter, with TJ… it comes so naturally to you… I just… I don't understand why you couldn't have been like that with me?" Her voice cracked on the last word as tears began to fall.

"I…" Constance began, unsure of what to say. She glanced at the couch and guided them both to sit down next to each other. "I don't know," she said honestly and looked down at her lap. "When we got you, I felt so unprepared. I didn't have those months of you being inside me to really get ready and then… there you were. This beautiful little girl and I was so afraid; so afraid that I'd do something wrong…and the love I felt for you, so instantly, scared me beyond belief. Everything about it... about motherhood, scared me. So I hired all those nannies; people who were trained and knew how to take care of you. I...I didn't want to hurt you-"

"But you did anyway," Maura whispered, unable to stop the words from coming out of her mouth. It caused her mother to look up at her. "I needed you." The years of isolation and teasing flooded her mind.

"I know," Constance agreed. "I know and I'm so sorry. I hate myself for it. If I could go back… do it all over again, be there for you...I would."

The older woman reached out for her daughter, cupping her face in her palms and wiping the tears from her cheeks. "I'm not so sure it comes naturally to me, darling. But watching you… seeing the wonderful mother you've already become in such a short time...watching you inspires me to be a little bit more like you. I know I don't deserve a second chance and that I should've been so much better to you back then, but… I want to try to be better now… with them. With _you_."

"I sometimes forget that even though you're a mother now yourself, you're still my _daughter_. And looking at you right now, so hurt because of me… all I see is a child who so desperately needs her mother." Constance barely finished her sentence as she began to cry. "Let me try and be a better mother, please?"

Maura nodded, her own tears trickling down her face. She leaned in and wrapped her arms around her mother's waist, resting her head against her chest. She smiled when she felt Constance's lips on her head and hands in her hair.

After a while, Maura spoke. "I feel like we've had this conversation before and I always say that I'm ok… that everything is alright and we should stop talking about it, but-"

"But you're still hurting," her mother finished for her.

"I-"

"It's ok, darling. We can continue having the same conversation until you stop hurting. Alright?"

Maura nodded. Fresh tears soaking her cheeks and her mother's shirt. "Ok."

"I love you, Maura."

"I love you, too," Maura whispered in response, her voice almost childlike.

It was then Constance realized that no matter her daughter's age, no matter how happy she seemed or how successful she was, she would always need her mother. She promised herself then that she would always be there for her. No matter what.


	19. Chapter 19

In all her years, with all the horrors and gruesome bodies she had been exposed to, Maura Isles had never once gotten sick at a crime scene. Not even when she was pregnant and extra sensitive to smell. Not once.

Until today.

The sight of the Chief Medical Examiner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, hurling her breakfast onto her stilettos was an image that shocked everyone on the scene. The normally composed, cool and collected woman didn't even have it in her to make it to a bathroom or outside of the house. In a total rookie move, she had gotten sick mere inches from the body.

The body.

The small decaying body of an infant.

Had she been warned before arriving to the scene, she thinks, just maybe, she would've been prepared. She would've kissed her daughter twice instead of once before rushing out the door. She would've waited for Jane so they could've arrived together. She would've－

The last of her thoughts are interrupted by another heave.

"Dr. Isles?" the familiar voice met her ears as the last of her stomach contents hit the floor. She looked up to see the kind, gentle eyes of Barry Frost who had just arrived on scene, which meant Jane too had just arrived. She could hear her wife's voice asking one of the first responders a question before the pair finally made eye contact. The blonde vomited again and the detective was at her side in an instant.

"Maura?" her voice laced with worry as she kneeled next to her hunched over wife and placed a hand on the small of her back. "Honey, what's wrong?" she asked, shooting intimidating looks at the crime techs around her, who all quickly averted their prying eyes.

Maura had managed to move a few feet away from the body, blocking it from Jane's view. Her face was burning up and her insides ached from her body's violent reaction. The ME looked at the brunette with wet eyes before turning her head, mindful of her breath, and whispered: "It's a child. The victim is－" she choked out, "an infant." She felt the bile once again rise in her throat, "excuse me," she said and quickly made her way towards the exit.

"Maur," Jane called after her.

"No, I'm fine. I just need a moment. Please," she replied over her shoulder, "I'll be back shortly to examine the… body."

Jane hesitated before deciding it would be best to let Maura go. She turned and walked over to the crime scene, taking a deep breath before opening her eyes. Even with the warning, the sight nearly brought her to her knees.

"Frost?"

"Yeah?"

"Go check on her, will you?"

"Of course," he replied sympathetically before leaving Jane alone with the rest of the crime techs and officers.

When he got outside, he spotted Maura leaning against her Prius with her head in her hands, taking deep breaths. Just as he was about to go comfort her, he got an idea and made a quick detour to his squad car. He pulled out a bag from the front compartment before heading over to Maura. She looked up just in time to watch Barry pull the items out of his bag.

One by one, he asked: "Mouthwash, Tic-Tacs or gum?" He smiled at her, watching as she released a quick exhale of laughter. She wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Thank you," she whispered and reached for the bottle of mouthwash.

"No problem," Barry replied and put the other items back in the bag. "I've had enough crime scene sickness to know to come prepared. Never thought I'd be offering any of these to you, though," he said gently as the doctor took a swig of mouthwash. She looked around for a place to politely spit it out.

"Come on, doc. You just puked in front of me; I can handle a little mouthwash spit. Come on," he gestured to the pavement and Maura nearly laughed the mouthwash out of her mouth.

After spitting onto the street, Maura wiped her lips and Frost handed her a bottle of hand sanitizer.

"You really are prepared," she said. "Thank you."

Frost smiled.

"I'm sorry." Maura sighed and leaned back against the car. "I've never had such a reaction to a body before." Frost also leaned against the car, standing close and listening as she continued. "Children are always difficult, but this…" her voice trailed off and she shook her head.

"Honestly Maura, I'd be surprised if you _hadn't_ reacted like that."

Maura continued on as if she didn't hear him. "My reaction was completely unprofessional," she said, suddenly realizing what she had done. "I could've contaminated the scene- the evidence!"

"Hey," Barry placed a comforting hand on her arm, his voice calming. "It's ok. I think everyone in there can understand your reaction. If they don't, well, they can come talk to my fist," he said and made the hand gesture.

Maura smiled at him. "Please don't resort to violence on my behalf." She reached for his fist and unclenched it. "Violence doesn't suit you," she said honestly, "but I appreciate the protective gesture."

They make eye contact before reality once again hit her and Barry swiftly pulled her in for a hug as she cried against his shoulder. "It's ok," he comforted her quietly as she shuddered. She was so lost in her emotions that she didn't notice him reach for his phone.

A few minutes later, he pulled out of their embrace and watched as Maura wiped her eyes. He held out his phone, screen facing her. Maura looked at him in confusion before a familiar voice brought her attention to the screen.

"Say hi to mommy," Angela's voice sounded from the device as Luna smiles and wiggles around on the FaceTime screen.

"Thought you could use a little reassurance that she's ok," Barry said quietly, bringing Maura to tears. She loved this man.

"Thank you," she cried and brought the phone close to her face, wrapping an arm around her friend.

xxxx

By the time Jane had gotten home that night, it was well past midnight. Maura had left the office only a few hours prior, but Jane wasn't the least bit surprised to find her wife already tucked into bed, sound asleep. The light on the nightstand was still on, whether it was by mistake or an intentional added sense of security, Jane didn't know. She smiled as she sat on the edge of the bed to remove her boots, noticing the body pillow Maura had tucked against her and the baby monitor clenched tightly in her hands.

Jane then knew the answer to her question about the light: security and comfort.

Children's cases were always tough. They exposed the worst of humanity and made Jane's stomach ache in the worst of ways. But this… _this_ case was beyond her mental capacity. An infant, nearly the same age as her own daughter.

Murdered.

The thought made her sick. She shook her head, hoping to shake the horrific images from her mind.

She slid out of her pants and pulled the green v-neck over her head, tossing both items in the direction of the hamper. The sound of her belt buckle hitting the wall made her flinch and she quickly glanced over her shoulder at Maura who began to stir. "Jane?" she mumbled in a sleepy voice.

Jane reached out, tucking a strand of hair behind Maura's ear. "Shh," she whispered, "go back to sleep." She traced her fingers along her wife's cheek, soothing her back to slumber. When her breathing evened, Jane gently extracted the baby monitor from Maura's hands and set it on the nightstand.

With one more glance at her wife, she got out of bed and headed down the hall to their daughter's room. Jane's eyes watched the gentle rise and fall of Luna's chest, which should've been enough to put her at ease, but she needed the extra reassurance. Very carefully, she reached into the crib and picked up her daughter, holding her close against her chest, reveling in feeling of soft baby skin against her collarbone. She rubbed Luna's back with a comforting hand and swayed back and forth, smiling when the scent of baby shampoo filled her nose as she leaned in to kiss the tiny head of hair.

After a few more minutes, Jane reluctantly placed Luna back in the crib and traced her index finger down her arm, pausing to squeeze her daughter's small hand. "Love you Lulu bean," she whispered, "more than anything in this world."

As she walked down the hall to her bedroom, the love she felt for her daughter overwhelmed her. As a mother, as a _human_ , she couldn't fathom how another human could intentionally harm a child. She blinked away the tears in her eyes and switched off the lamp before crawling into bed. Carefully, she pulled the body pillow away from Maura and replaced it with her own body, smiling as the blonde snuggled close, wrapping her arms around the detective. Jane kissed her forehead and let the steady tempo of her wife's heartbeat lull her to sleep.

xxxx

Unsurprisingly, Jane didn't stay asleep long. Two hours after climbing into bed, she was torn from her slumber by a vivid and all too familiar nightmare, only this time it was－

"Sweetheart?" Maura's voice, still laced with sleep, interrupted her thoughts. "Bad dream?"

Jane turned her head to see Maura looking at her with concern. She nodded, only then realizing her own clothes were soaked in sweat, her heart beating rapidly. She sat up and brought her knees to her chest, resting her forehead against them.

Maura scooted out from beneath the covers and positioned herself behind the shaking detective until their knees touched and Jane was nestled between her legs. Her fingers found the hem of Jane's damp tank top before slowly inching it up and over her head, tossing it on the floor.

The doctor reached for a hair binder on the nightstand and gently gathered Jane's mess of curls into a bun on the top of her head. She kissed the nape of the Jane's neck as her hands reached out for her wife's, wrapping both sets protectively around the detective's stomach. When she heard an exhale, Maura rested her cheek against the spot between Jane's shoulder blades.

Silence surrounded them until Jane's raspy voice whispered, "Hoyt."

Both bodies tensed at the single syllable and Maura brushed her thumbs over scars.

"It's been a while," she whispered, her breath tickling the skin of Jane's back. Jane hadn't had a nightmare about Hoyt since before Maura was pregnant.

When the detective didn't say anything more, Maura proceeded in their usual post-nightmare routine. One of many, depending on the context.

"You're safe," Maura whispered and Jane shook her head, ruling out a dream about her hands. "Me?" she questioned and guided Jane's right hand with own across her chest, over Jane's left shoulder and back, letting the brunette's fingertips trace over a fading scar on the blonde's neck. "I'm alright, Jane. We are both safe. He's dead," she whispered and Jane's fingertips twitched against her neck.

"No," Jane said, her body tensing as the images of her dream flooded her brain. "No, it wasn't－it was...Luna," she sobbed, "he...she－"

"Don't," Maura interrupted quickly, surprised by the pain in her voice, "please don't say it."

"I need to see her," Jane said, moving out of their embrace.

"Jane," Maura called out, but the detective had already made it past the doorway. She followed close behind and watched quietly from the doorway of Luna's room as Jane, in nothing but her underwear, stared down at their daughter, intently focused on each rise and fall of the tiny chest. Jane placed her hand on Luna's stomach so she could feel each inhale and exhale against her palm.

When Maura saw her wife tremble and heard her quiet sniffling, she stepped away from the doorway and made her way back their bedroom.

A moment later, she returned, pausing when Jane smiled up at her after catching sight of their duvet and pillows in hand. Understanding floated between them.

Jane continued to watch their daughter sleep as Maura draped the comforter over plush cushions and placed their pillows near the corner of the L-shaped couch. Once finished, Maura went to stand next to her wife and looped an arm around her waist, setting her hand over Jane's; both gently resting atop their daughter's tummy.

"She's safe," Maura whispered. "We are all safe."

Jane leaned down to kiss her. "I love you."

Maura smiled and squeezed her hand. "I love you too," she replied and gently guided them over to their makeshift bed for the night, thankful they had decided to put a couch in the nursery. Jane settled in against the cushions before pulling Maura down against her, snuggling in close.

She fell asleep with a simple thought:

3 heartbeats.

Safe.


	20. Chapter 20

The next morning, Maura awoke with her cheek pressed firmly to the sofa cushion, arm dangling off the side, and her hand resting lazily on the polka dot rug. It took just a moment of confusion before she remembered where she was.

The nursery.

Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she rolled onto her back, surprised when she didn't bump into her wife on the small space. She turned her head to the right before hearing Jane's voice whispering sweet commentary from her left. Maura smiled as she sat up on the sofa, watching her detective at the changing table with their daughter. Jane in mama mode was her favorite Jane-mode… at least, in the daylight hours. Maura smirked at her own train of the thought before refocusing her attention on the sight in front of her. It was rare, even after all their years together, with all the trust between them, to see Jane with her guard down, completely oblivious to anything and everything but that little bundle of joy.

"I don't understand," Jane whispered down to her daughter with her back to Maura. "You're so cute and adorable, but you make the stinkiest shi-poo. How can someone so cute be so smelly, huh?" she asked as she secured the fresh diaper and tossed the old into the trash bin.

"I often ask myself the same question about you," Maura teased from the couch, alerting Jane that she was awake.

For a brief moment, Jane looked surprised, maybe even a little bit guilty before finally cracking a smile.

"Oh really?" her voice was playful, causing Maura to bite her lip and look up at her. It's then Jane notices her wife's tousled bed hair and sleepy eyes. The sun peaking in behind the curtains makes her skin glow and Jane is once again struck by Maura's natural beauty.

Recovering quickly, Jane picks Luna up off the changing table, her diaper-clad little body bouncing around in her mother's arms, cooing and gurgling as the duo made their way over to the couch. Maura watched and was taken aback at how much their daughter had grown over the past few months; amazed that she could hold her head up; in awe of the sounds that escaped tiny pink lips.

The brunette paused directly in front of Maura and smirked. "You weren't complaining the last time I was all hot and sweaty."

"Hot and sweaty doesn't necessarily mean stinky," retorted Maura.

"No?"

"No," Maura replied and swiftly removed her pajama top before reaching out for Luna, eager to feel that soft baby skin against her own. Mommy-daughter mornings were her favorite type of mornings.

"So…" Jane began as she joined her wife and daughter on the couch. "Hot and sweaty fucking is sexy. Hot and sweaty after running is stinky?"

Maura nudged her playfully, "Don't be so crude."

"You're one to talk," scoffed Jane.

"There's a time and a place, detective," Maura whispered seductively. "Not in front of our daughter. At this rate, I wouldn't be surprised if that's the first word she tries to say." They both laugh at the absurd idea of their sweet, innocent _baby_ swearing. "But to answer your question, yes. Hot and sweaty after running equals stinky."

"Hm, guess that means I should go shower then."

Maura stops her from standing by gently gripping the brunette's thigh. It's only then she notices the running shorts and sweat stains on Jane's t-shirt. "You've already been out for a run?" she questioned with a furrowed brow. Glancing at the clock, she noted the early hour. "It's barely 5:30 AM."

Jane shrugged.

"Couldn't sleep," she answered quickly, hoping to avoid further questioning. She felt Maura analyzing her, connecting the dots and remembering why they slept in the nursery in the first place. Hoping to escape her wife's penetrating gaze, Jane made another attempt to get up, but once again, Maura stopped her.

"Stay, just for a little while," Maura said quietly. Sensing her wife's discomfort, but not wanting to let her go, she decided to put the conversation she wanted to have on hold. "I don't mind the smell."

Jane couldn't help but laugh out loud. How could she walk away after that? Settling in against Maura, the two both watched their daughter drink her breakfast. It was simple and pure moments like these that made Jane forget about the darkness she carried because of her job.

Maura tilted her head to rest atop Jane's, smiling as a mix of sweat, the outdoors and the faint scent of Jane's rosemary mint shampoo filled her nose. She really didn't mind the smell.

xxxx

Half an hour later, after Luna was satisfied, Jane slipped away to take a shower and Maura made her way downstairs to pass Luna over to Angela, who happily watched her granddaughter as her daughters got ready for work. While Angela could sometimes overstep her boundaries, Maura was grateful for the on-site babysitter. Especially on mornings like this.

Jane had just rinsed the conditioner out of her hair when she heard Maura enter the bathroom. A moment later, the quiet sound of the glass shower door opening and closing before arms wrapped around Jane's waist. She swallowed a moan at the feeling of Maura's body pressed against her back as the warm water trickled over both of them.

"We don't have time," Jane pouted, "work," she managed to say.

"I know," Maura replied quietly and rested her cheek against Jane's shoulder blade. "That's not why I'm here, I...I'm worried about you," she admitted, her voice barely audible over the sound of the shower. The doctor felt Jane's body tense beneath her fingertips and tried to pull away, but Maura tightened her grip. "You haven't had a nightmare in months and this one… the content－"

"Don't, Maura. Just… don't."

"You had another one this morning, didn't you? That's why you went on a run?"

Reluctantly, Jane nodded.

Maura sighed before slowly turning Jane in her arms so she could slide her hands up her torso until they rested on her cheeks.

"You know I'm here for you? I'm always here for you. You don't need to hide from me."

"I know," Jane replied, not meeting Maura's eyes.

They've had this conversation before. Many, many times before. It's always the same. Jane says she'll stop hiding, promises to wake Maura up if she has a nightmare, promises to talk it out. But she never does.

"I－" Maura began before Jane interrupts.

"I know," Jane said firmly, finally looking at Maura. "I know you won't judge me, I know you're here for me, I know…" she paused and put her hands over the ones holding her face. They stay quiet for a moment, each watching as water trailed over their skin. "I know I trust you more than anyone in the world, but I… I don't... I don't know why it's so hard for me to talk to you about it. About my nightmares. I'll work on it, ok? I promise. For real this time."

"Ok," Maura replied simply, leaning in to kiss her wife.

"That's it? Ok?" Jane questioned, disbelief in her tone.

Maura nodded. "You promised you'll try. That's all I can ask of you." She kissed Jane once more before reaching for her shampoo.

xxxx

Four days later, the case was solved, leaving everyone relieved and incredibly exhausted. Physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. Jane was tempted to join the guys at The Robber to drink away the night, but the pull toward her family was stronger.

When she arrived home and found Maura crying in the nursery, she was glad she listened to her gut.

"Maur?" she asked from the doorway and watched as Maura jumped, quickly wiping the tears from her cheeks. "Are you alright?"

"You're home early," Maura deflected, "I thought you were going out with Barry and Korsak?"

"I was," Jane spoke, deciding to ignore Maura's tears. For now. "But I wanted to come home. To you," she smiled and paused at the crib to touch Luna's cheek, "and this little peanut." Jane looks over at Maura, " I'm surprised she's out already."

Maura sniffled. "According to Angela, she had an unusually short nap today. I think TJ woke her up when Lydia dropped him off."

"He sure loves his cousin," Jane replied as she made her way over to the couch and straddled Maura's waist. It felt strange being the one on top, in this position anyway. Gently, she wiped the pads of her thumbs over Maura's tear-stained cheeks before leaning in for a kiss.

"Come take a bath with me," Jane said after a while, standing up and holding her hand out for Maura.

The blonde rose an eyebrow suspiciously. Since when did Jane voluntarily take baths?

"Come on," Jane said again, smiling and tugging at her wife's hand.

xxxx

As Maura finished adding bubbles to the bath water, Jane asked: "White or red?"

"Beer?" Maura replied.

It was Jane's turn to be surprised.

Maura simply shrugged. "It helps with my breastfeeding."

"Two beers coming up," Jane said as she exited the bathroom, leaving Maura to disrobe and slip into to the tub. When Jane returned, Maura was already completely covered in bubbles with her head resting against the edge, eyes closed.

"Oh, no fair," Jane teased as she handed Maura a bottle, "you're all covered up already."

"You'll just have to wait for the bubbles to evaporate," Maura smiled and thanked Jane for the beer.

"Meanwhile you get a striptease," Jane said with a smirk and began undoing the buttons of her shirt, tossing it on the floor before shimmying out of her slacks.

Maura nearly choked on her drink at Jane's attempt to be sexy. "Just get in here already before you break a hip," she laughed as the detective almost tripped over her pants.

"I'll leave the stripping to you from now on," Jane replied as she lowered herself into the tub across from Maura, sighing as the hot water soothed her muscles.

Maura handed her a beer and for a while the two just sat, eyes closed, enjoying the moment. Maura's free hand dipped under water and gently stroked the detective's calf muscles while Jane played with the doctor's toes.

Breaking the silence, Jane spoke quietly, "I'm sorry I didn't wake you the other day... when I had another nightmare."

The tone of her voice made Maura open her eyes. "Jane, it's ok."

"No. It's not," Jane said and placed her empty beer bottle on the floor before reaching for Maura's and doing the same. "You've been my best friend for, what, seven years now? My wife for three… you should know everything about me. I should be _telling_ you everything, even though you seem to always figure it out regardless." She sighed and Maura's fingers tightened around her leg. "Lord knows I trust you and love you more than anyone on the planet."

"It's just… I feel so, I don't know, embarrassed? Weak. Scared out of my fucking mind," she looked up at Maura who was staring intently at her with understanding eyes. "And I know. I know you don't judge me－would never judge me, but…" her voice trailed off. "I don't know," she sighed heavily. "I guess I just… with this last dream, it felt so real and so horrible. It wasn't just me reliving what I－what _we_ －went through with… him. It was our daughter and I couldn't protect her and I just felt so… so helpless." Jane quickly wiped at the single tear that managed to escape before continuing. "It's hard enough protecting you both in real life… now I'm expected to do it my dreams and I can't even do that?" she shook her head and closed her eyes.

"Sweetheart," she said quietly. When Jane didn't respond, the doctor scooted across the tub floor and repositioned them until she was sitting comfortably over Jane's thighs. Maura slowly traced her fingertips over Jane's face, smoothing out the wrinkles and gently rubbed at her wife's temples until the detective opened her eyes and looked at her.

"I trust you with my life," Maura said truthfully, "with our daughter's life. There's nothing left for you to prove, sweetheart. You've already proven yourself, time and time again. Just because the outcome is different in your head, in your dreams, it doesn't change the the fact that you've saved us. Protected us." She paused to kiss Jane's cheek. "It's just your way of processing, however horrible it might be, it's ok. I trust you, even if you don't trust yourself. I know you'll always try to protect me and Lu...our family."

Jane's hands slide down Maura's back until they come to rest on her hips as she takes in her wife's words.

"I trust you with my life," Maura repeated, "I just want you to trust me with your thoughts, ok? And I know you do," she quickly added when Jane looked like she was going to interrupt. "I know you trust me, but I also know it can be hard for you sometimes. I understand and respect that, so even it's not me you tell, because you don't want to worry me or… I don't know, upset me, I just want you to tell _someone_ , alright?"

Jane nodded.

"I hate it when you bottle everything up. _That_ worries me more than any nightmare," Maura finished. "Or… we could always try therapy."

"No," Jane answered quickly and they both laughed. "I promise. I promise I'll work on it. You deserve my honesty."

"Thank you," Maura replied before lowering her head to the crook of Jane's neck, her hands disappeared below the water to wrap around her waist. Jane's arms hugged her close and slid comfortingly up and down Maura's spine. As she leaned in to kiss the top of Maura's head, she began to laugh.

"What?" Maura asked, abruptly pulling back from their embrace.

Jane reached up and tugged gently at a section of blonde locks, "you have spit up in your hair."

Maura grabbed the section of hair from Jane's hand and made a face.

"Come on," the detective said and pressed her hands against Maura's waist, directing her to turn around and sit between her legs. Once situated, Jane reached for the removable shower head and turned on the faucet, waiting until the water ran warm before positioning it above Maura's head.

"Mmm," Maura hummed as Jane massaged her scalp and tangled her shampooed fingers through Maura's hair. "Remember the last time you washed my hair? Right after Luna was born."

"Mhmm," Jane replied. How could she forget? It was right after one of the most heartbreaking meltdowns she had ever seen her wife go through.

"I don't think I ever properly thanked you for that," Maura said quietly as Jane began to rinse out the shampoo.

"You don't need to thank me."

"No, I do. That moment… it was such a simple gesture, but it really meant a lot to me, especially after my behavior towards you that day. I don't think I've ever felt more loved," Maura whispered.

Jane kissed her neck. "Well, I do love making you feel loved."

Maura smiled and leaned back against her wife as Jane wrapped her arms around her. "You continously surprise me with your sweetness, Detective Rizzoli."

Jane laughed, "only for you," her breath tickled Maura's neck. She let a moment pass before asking the question that had been on her mind since she got home: "Why were you crying earlier?"

"Hm?" Maura hummed lethargically before realizing the question, "oh." Jane gave her a squeeze when she felt her body tense beneath her fingertips. "I...the case," Maura finally said, "it just really got to me. I'm so glad it's over but I don't understand how…"

"...how a mother could do that to her own child?" Jane finished for her.

"Exactly," Maura said quietly, her fingers found Jane's and she nervously rubbed her knuckles. Jane waited patiently for the real answer.

"Everyone you interviewed, they all said what a wonderful mother she was. How she would never hurt anyone… how shocked her husband was when he found out that she…" she couldn't bring herself to say it. "What if－"

"Don't," Jane said firmly, her tone full of conviction. "Don't even think that for a second, Maura. You would _never_."

"But my father－"

"No. _No_ , that's completely different. Maura, you would never hurt our child. You would never hurt _anyone_ , period. You hear me?" she tilted Maura's chin so she could look her in the eye.

Maura sighed. "I know. I just… this case. It's making my mind go to places it shouldn't."

"Well it's over now. No more thinking about it," Jane said, feeling Maura nod against her. "You're a wonderful mother. A wonderful _person_. You would never."

"Ugh," Maura sniffled and wiped at her eyes, "I'm sorry."

Jane grabbed Maura's hand and gave it a squeeze. "Man, we're a pair. Maybe we do need therapy after all," she joked, easing the tension. She held up their interlocked hands above the water. "Come on," she said, "let's get out of here. We're getting all pruney." She pulled the plug from the drain and stood, helping Maura out of the tub.

Jane wrapped a plush towel around her wife's back and pulled her in for a hug, their naked bodies pressed against one another, both suddenly realizing how long it had been since they'd been intimate. Between a sick infant, the grueling case… sex had been the last thing on their minds.

"I love you," Maura whispered against Jane's collarbone before pulling back, her hands resting lazily on her wife's hips.

"Love you," Jane replied and brought the towel up to dry the ends of Maura's damp hair. When Maura's hands snuck around to Jane's backside, she let the towel drop to the floor.

Maura smirked as Jane began backing her up until her thighs hit the edge of the counter, sighing as Jane's lips sucked at her neck. Jane lifted her gently so she was sitting next to the sink. Her warm tongue making its way down her body, stopping at each breast to give attention to Maura's erect nipples.

Maura pulled her in close with the back of her heel before gasping, "I thought- I thought you were supposed to be drying me off."

Jane smirked against her abdomen.

"You seem to be doing the opposite," the blonde whispered, reaching down to run her fingers through her own arousal.

"Ah, ah, ah," Jane said, grabbing Maura's wrist. "Someone's eager."

" _Someone's_ moving too slow," Maura said bluntly, shifting her hips forward.

"We just started." Jane brought Maura's wet fingers up to her mouth, biting the tips gently before sliding the full length of her digits into her mouth.

"God, Jane," Maura whimpered, "touch me."

Jane leaned forward to kiss her, giving her a taste before sliding her back further on the counter. She resumed her mouth's descent down Maura's body, getting great satisfaction by the goosebumps forming under her lips, the quenching of abdominal muscles as she reached Maura's belly button, the feeling of her wife's hand in her hair, pushing her lower...

The guttural sound that escaped Maura's throat when the detective's lips came in contact with her folds.

The sound of their toothbrushes clanking against the counter when Maura slammed her hand down as Jane swiped her tongue.

The feel of Maura's heel bruising Jane's spine as the brunette slipped a finger, then two, inside velvety warmth.

The small gasps for air as Jane began to pump in and out.

The strangled cry of pleasure as Jane's mouth circled over Maura's bundle of nerves.

The surprisingly strong thighs flexing around her head.

And then…

That breathy, satisfied, yet hungry voice whispered…

"My turn."


	21. Chapter 21

Early one Sunday morning in May, Maura awoke slowly as each of her five senses were stimulated.

Smell was the first. The strong aroma of freshly brewed coffee wafted through the air around her and she hummed in delight.

The second was touch. Silk sheets caressed her naked curves as she rolled onto her side. She smiled remembering the previous night's lovemaking that had sent her into a deep and blissful slumber.

Sound was third. A gentle thunk of a something being placed on the nightstand, followed by clinking silverware and quiet mutterings of a few choice expletives. _Jane_. Maura almost laughed, but it was the sound of her daughter giggling, followed by Jane's whispered, "Oh, you think that's funny, do you?" that finally pulled a quiet, amused laugh from the doctor's throat.

"Oh way to go, Lu. You woke up Mommy," Jane teased her daughter while tickling her belly.

Maura felt the bed dip beside her and a hand on her hip before she rolled onto her back and slowly opened her tired eyes.

Sight. The vision that greeted her was, decidedly, the most beautiful scene to wake up to: Jane in nothing but underwear, a white v-neck and messy hair with a naked, diaper-clad baby nestled against her side.

"Good morning," the detective spoke with a smile before wrapping her free arm around Luna and leaning down to kiss her wife. Taste. The fifth and final sense. "Happy mother's day, mama," Jane whispered against soft lips.

Those four words were what really got Maura up. Her eyes widened as she glanced over to the nightstand where a tray of coffee, juice, and veggie omelets awaited her.

"Jane!" she said, pushing herself up to rest against the headboard. The flashing "8:42 AM" caught her eye. "You turned off my alarm!"

Jane frowned, confused by her wife's reaction to sleeping in and breakfast in bed on Mother's Day.

Maura sensed her bemusement and reached for Jane's hand, smiling as she gave it a squeeze. "I was going to wake up early and make _you_ breakfast in bed, not the other way around," she explained.

"I thought that's what Father's Day was for," Jane teased, grinning as she watched Maura's eyes squint. She could almost hear the lecture on gender roles about to spew from her mouth.

"Just because you wear the strap-on does not make you the fath－"

"Kidding, Maur."

"... oh," the doctor replied before playfully swatting Jane's arm, causing Luna to giggle and coo.

"This kid," Jane began teasingly, "I tell ya, loves nothing more than to see me drop things and get beat on by you."

Lu reached up to pat her hand against Jane's lips, prompting the detective to pull her little fingers into in her mouth, eliciting another squeal of delight.

Maura watched on, feeling happy tears sting her eyes. For a woman who thought she'd never be a mother, let alone find a partner as loving and wonderful as Jane, the moment was a lot to take in. She recovered quickly, thankful that her wife was too distracted by pretending to eat Luna's fingers.

"Get back in bed with me," Maura instructed, patting the space next to her.

"So bossy," they both said in unison, causing them both to laugh before Jane got up and walked around to her side of the bed. She was just about to lean in for another kiss when Maura suddenly slipped out from beneath the covers and into her favorite floral robe. She made it to the bedroom door when Jane called out, "where the heck are you going?"

With a quick glance over her shoulder, Maura replied: "To get you breakfast."

"What?" Jane called after her, but could already hear Maura's footsteps on the stairs. "You're crazy! I made enough for both of us; it's gonna get cold!" she continued to yell. When she was awarded no response, she turned the baby in her arms and said, "she's _your_ mother."

xxxx

Less than ten minutes later, Jane was sipping coffee from Maura's mug when the doctor reappeared in the doorway, hands behind her back.

"That was fast."

"Close your eyes," Maura responded and before Jane could answer with a 'so bossy,' she quickly added, "please."

"You know, I'm a little insulted," Jane said with her eyes closed, baby on her lap. "I worked all morning to make you breakfast and you－"

"Open your eyes, Jane."

Jane felt Maura settle in beside her on the bed and a gentle press of something on her thighs.

"What the－" Jane began, opening her eyes and looking down at the box resting on her lap. Luna pushed her feet against it. "What is it?"

"Open it," Maura instructed as she made silly faces at their daughter.

Jane quirked an eyebrow before doing as she was told. She caught a whiff of the box's contents before her eyes caught a glimpse. She smiled. In the box were colorful alphabet-shaped doughnuts from her favorite local bakery. The edible letters spelled:

H-A-P-P-Y M-A-M-A-S D-A-Y

"13 doughnuts, all for you," Maura said cheerfully. "And since it's Mother's Day, I promise I won't be upset if you eat them all in one day. Although, I'd strongly advise against it."

"Look," Maura pointed, "there's even a few sprinkled with Lucky Charms. And that one is chocolate with maple glazed bacon." Her face took on a disgusted expression. "Although I don't understand it, the baker said it's total hit." Maura then reached into the box and grabbed one of the chocolate M's. Jane watched as she took a bite, in awe over her current situation; daughter resting against her torso, a box of 13－no, 12－custom made doughnuts on her lap, and her beautiful, wonderful wife at her side, looking adorable as she licked chocolate off of her thumb.

Everything about the moment was perfect.

"What?" Maura asked as she noticed the goofy grin on Jane's face.

"I love you," was Jane's answer and her smile grew wider as she watched Maura's face light up with delight at her response. Even though they said it all the time, Maura always reacted like it was the first time Jane had ever said those three words.

"I love _you_. Happy mother's day, Jane."

"Happy mother's day," Jane echoed.

"Which one are you going to try first? Bacon or Lucky Charms?" Maura questioned.

"Hmm, that's a tough one, but I think I'll start with the chocolate on your face."

Before Maura could bring a hand to her mouth, Jane brought their lips together in a sweet, chocolatey kiss. She poked her tongue out to get the little bit of chocolate on the corner of Maura's mouth before pulling away.

"Mmm, that's gonna be hard to beat," Jane said as she reached for a Lucky Charms covered 'Y'. "Hey, wait a minute, how did you...you were only gone, like, ten minutes?"

"Your mother," Maura replied, as if that was an answer.

"What?"

"I had them delivered early this morning, but instructed the bakery to leave it at the guest house. I asked Angela to keep them in her fridge for me. And I'm glad I did, otherwise you would've seen them when you were making my breakfast. Oh!" she suddenly remembered the tray on the nightstand and lifted it onto her lap. "This looks wonderful, by the way. Thank you."

"Very sneaky, Dr. Isles," she said, taking another bite of her doughnut. "You're welcome."

xxxx

As if Luna knew it was Mother's Day, she patiently sat on Jane's lap, gurgling and sticking her fists in her mouth, allowing both her mama's to enjoy their breakfasts before releasing a fussy, hungry cry.

"Ohh," Maura cooed, lifting the try from her lap at setting it back on the nightstand, "is it your turn for breakfast?" she asked in the voice reserved only for her daughter. "Come here darling," she said as she lifted Lu from Jane's lap and onto her own. She pulled at the knot on her robe until one of her breasts was exposed. Adjusting her daughter into a comfortable position for both of them, Maura smiled as Luna latched on. "There we go, sweetheart. No need to cry."

When Maura looked away after several minutes of gazing at her daughter, she was met with teary brown eyes staring at her.

"Jane?" she asked with concern.

"I'm ok," the detective quickly replied and wiped at the single tear that managed to escape. "I just," she rolled her eyes at what she was about to say, "I love watching you in mommy mode. You're so wonderful at it. Being a mom, I mean."

Maura smiled at her. _Such a softie._ Before she could reply, Jane reached under her pillow and presented a card. "Here, I… just, here."

Maura looked questioningly at her. "Can you open it for me?" she asked, looking down her occupied arm.

Jane gently teared the envelope and slid the card free, handing it to Maura.

"Thank you."

The front of the card was simple with a colorful illustration of three birds in a tree, gold letters spelled out 'happy mother's day.' As Maura opened the card, she smiled at the full page of Jane's slanted and crooked penmanship.

"Hap－" Maura began to read aloud, but Jane stopped her.

"Don't read it out loud," Jane groaned, "I already feel like such a sap for writing it."

Maura sighed, but agreed. She returned her attention back to the card and read:

_Happy mother's day, Maur! I know I don't say it as often as I should, but thank you. Thank you for loving me the way that you do and for giving me a reason to celebrate mother's day in a way I never imagined for myself… in a way I never knew I wanted._

_As a mother._

_I get to celebrate this day as a mama because of you_ －with _you_ － _and I've never been more happy or more in love. Not only with our daughter, but with you. Watching you… the way you are with her… Maura, I can't even think of the right words to explain it, but I'm so lucky. So lucky to watch you shine. You were so worried you wouldn't be good at it, but god, you're the best. You're the best mother to our daughter and_ _ **I can't wait to be mommies with you**_ _for the rest of our lives. I love you. To the moon._

_-Jane_

By the time Maura reached the final line, she was a complete and utter mess.

"Jane," she choked.

Jane peaked through her hands that were covering her face (an attempt to hide herself from her own sappiness) and instantly knew taking the time to write those words was worth it, even if it broke her "badass" persona.

"Oh Maura," she said, reaching out to wipe her wife's cheek, "I didn't mean to make you cry."

"Yes you did," Maura replied through a half-sob, half-laugh. "Kiss me," she said, tugging at Jane's wrist, urging her to come closer. Jane laughed into the kiss, careful not to squish their nursing daughter between them.

The kiss tasted like chocolate and tears.

"Just when I think I have you figured out," Maura managed to say between kisses, "you go and do something like this. God," she sighed.

"Deceptively complex, I think you once said," Jane replied, breaking away from the kiss to rest her forehead against Maura's.

Maura laughed.

"Exactly."

* * *

_The End._


End file.
